Saturday April 3, 11:38pm
I cannot take this anymore...I think you could say I'm having a pretty bad week. I don't think I can do anything right at this point. I thought things were getting better in a certain situation, bur I just dunno anymore. I think an e-mail that I assumed was lost forever was finally delivered, thus most likely making things worse. I don't know what to do anymore, I can't wait to get out of here and create new screw-ups. The only thing to cement this as probably being the worst week of my life is a notification that I'm kicked out of Purdue or did not receive the Leath Scholarship because I did one little thing wrong in my audition. I give up, I'm going to bed.

Friday March 5, 6:33pm
Someone in my condition, needs the Great Physician... To put things mildly, this week has been stressful. I saw Passion of the Christ, and now I want to see it again, but I think I'm going to wait until after I've finished the 4 gospels. I'm kinda trying to find a date for prom, but don't worry about me. I have faith that things will turn out for the best. I may have found a dress, so we'll see just how things go down. Regionals are tomorrow, and I don't know what will happen. I know I'm not on the list of "Bowlers to Watch" from the Post Tribune for Regionals, even though I was for sectionals. I went and practiced at Stardust yesterday, and I bowled poorly. I don't know if it has anything to do with the fact that I was bowling next to the best female bowler in my conference, but we'll see tomorrow. I would like to feel like I'm not being ignored by the Post Tribune, but the only way that is possible is if I create an upset and win regionals. It's improbable, but not impossible. There have been a couple of things that, when you think about it, were weird this past week. There were just as many laughs as tears, if not more. I was on a short fuse all week, but at the same time I started acting crazier than normal. I think this is my brain trying to balance itself out, and that's what I want to happen. I don't like feeling brain-dead, and so I am going to knock-off all of this nonsense. Just thought anyone who doesn't ignore me (ahem, get that Post, stop looking me over!) might be interested in an update. Later.

Wednesday February 18, 7:33pm
Today I was on edge. Jessica was kind enough to help me with singing. Acting did not go well, in my opinion. I don't think I'm going to be Adelaide, but I'm ok with it. Today I started freaking out a little about prom. My biggest fear is that I'm not going to have a date b/c someone else is going to ask him. I'm sure you all know which red-head I would like to hang out with that night, but it's too early to be worrying about that stuff. I need to stress about the field show and Guys and Dolls right now, later.

Saturday February 14, 8:12pm
I know it's been forever, and I probably just wouldn't update on here, but maybe, just maybe this will help. I hate Valentine's Day. It's just a slap in the face to all of us who are alone. Maybe it would bother me so much if I knew where I stood with a certain person. I e-mailed him 2 weeks ago making a suggestion, and nothing! I'm the kind of person that needs concrete evidence about something. It's not that I'm afraid of the answer, it's that I just want to know, it's like I'm floating in the air, waiting to see if I'm going to go crashing to the ground or safely land. If you read this and know who you are, just tell me the truth and let's just stop avioding this whole thing!

Sunday December 28, 9:45pm
Across the sea, a pale moon rises... Lately I have had a hardcore ROTK obesssion, but it's all good. I think the time of the websites are over. I'm really spacey right now and I can't think of anything to say, so I am going to end it here.

Saturday December 6, 11:58pm
Another month, more drama. I don't know if my site is dying only because I never update it, or also because I don't have time. Things are crazy, and I don't want to be part of it. I don't know if I even want to go to homecoming or not, but I really don't care. That is all.

Saturday November 29, 10:56pm
I've been conducting like crazy today, it was fun. ROTK comes out really soon, I'm excited!! Alice and I have been making alot of journal icons, it's addictive, really addictive. I'm sure I have projects I should be working on, but I'm in a really lazy mood. I talked to Kaidy today for the first time in forever, it was nice. That's all, later!

Friday November 21, 11:21pm
It feels like there should be craziness in my life, but I'm too busy being content with what's in front of me. Today was pretty good. I saw Guys and Dolls at VHS, and was reminded of my "roots." What I mean by that is the things that show my insanity that have always been a part of me, that have not just recently came up. I had the first Jones Soda I've had in a long time, and it was Chocolate Fudge, which was very cool. I saw a quote on there from some "doll" (hehe) from West Lafayette, and I had to laugh cause it's true. Tomorrow we'll be interesting, we'll see what happens from there.

Friday November 14, 8:11pm
We never change do we? That song makes me smile right now, but then again, there is little that wouldn't, tehe. Things have been better since that last entry, I'm enjoying myself more, and not dwelling on things. I feel so at peace, even though things are kinda looming over my head. Kyle and I spent a long time today making copies of 13 new songs to add to the pepband books, which was fun. Alice D and I are going to see Master and Commander tonight, I'm pretty excited because Billy Boyd is really cool. I'm interested to see how strong his accent is. Special Edition TTT comes out Tuesday to, so I'm really excited. The crazy guy who is always talking to me won't even slow me down today. Well, I think now it's just about time to get ready to go. Later!

Friday November 7, 9:59pm
It never goes away... I'm in a very bitter mood right now. I'm sick of putting people in difficult situations. To those people, I'm sorry you have to put up with my shit. I'm going to make what attempt I can to take care of it I think, because I don't want to put you guys through unnecessary insanity right now. My life is going pretty good except for that. Thank you Andy for being there for me earlier, I'm sorry I didn't say that earlier. I'm sorry this entry isn't catching up with what's been going on in my life or anything cheerful, but today has been to irratating. Later

Sunday October 26, 3:54pm
This weekend was fun. I've been thinking alot lately. I don't think I will be talking to many people from high school next year. I hope that's not true though, there will be some people I will really miss. So, please e-mail me next year! That's all!

Wednesday October 22, 4:35pm
I guess I've been busy lately, oh well. Things have been, let's say interesting lately. I think a bunch of stress is in the process of being relieved, so that's good. I've been looking forward to this four day weekend for a long time. Now we'll see what happens from here with certain things ;). "The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams." -Eleanor Roosevelt. That is all.

Sunday October 12, 10:00pm
Coming at you from every side... Yeah, I'm sure there's alot I should update you on, but if you really want to know what's going on in my life, maybe it's just better than you e-mail me. The Colombus Day parade is tomorrow, be sure to watch us, we'll be #9! I'm pretty exited about it all. I think I may be getting sick, but I'm going to ignore it until I have time to worry about it. Plays Friday and Saturday, you should go, if you bother to read this...Later.

Thursday October 2, 9:05pm
The NHS induction went pretty well yesterday. SASI: The Play, is going to be a nightmare, and that's putting it mildly. I spent some of my half day at the I orthodontist today, and I realized something. Apparently I had my braces off one year ago yesterday. I was sitting there wondering why I didn't remember that, so I went back and looked in my archives. On that day I had my flat tire last year, ortho appointment, bowling try-outs, NHS induction, and then play practice; and I thought I was busy this year! Haha. Just thought I'd share the irony in that and give a special "non-Saturday" update.

Saturday September 27, 11:40pm
This week has been interesting. Damn Yankees was fun, and on the same day I was accepted to Purdue! I think our musical has officialy been named, so I'm probably going to be memorizing those songs sometime soon. David wasn't at bowling today, but that's ok cause I did bad. However it would have been nice for him to be there so I would have had someone to talk to evade the soap opera that is taking place there. After that spanish project and looking through all of these old photos, I realized I was cute when I was little, what happened? (haha) Looking at the pictures, some of the guys I know were adorable when they were little. Sorry, this weekend seems to be obsessed with kids. It doesn't help that my cousin's baby shower is tomorrow. The othere thing that keeps entering my mind is homecoming, but I think I'm going to avoid that one for now. I think I shall go now. I think I've heard mine and Alice's guestbooks are lonely. Perhaps someone should remedy that. Later!

Saturday September 20, 6:44pm
The parade was fun, really crowded but fun. After the parade, I hung out with Kyle for awhile, which was fun. I wish I could hang out with him more often. Sigh, short entry sorry, maybe a better one later.

Wednesday September 17, 8:18pm
Madness takes it toll! I don't know if I actually have time to be updating this, I guess we will see later. Out of all the things that could be on my mind right now, I keep drifting to the one I should be focusing on the least. The Oz Fest is Saturday, I hope some of you will come and cheer on the band. What happened to the good old days of just chilling and having no stress? Oh yeah, they went to the same place everything goes at BGHS, to Hell! Haha, well, I'd better get reading, later.

Saturday September 13, 2:32pm
Things have been crazy lately. If you don't know why, I'm to lazy to go into all of the details. Wizard of Oz Parade is next weekend, I love the song we're playing for it. It's a melody of "If I only had a Brain" and "We're Off to See the Wizard." Bowling was interesting today, but we'll just have to see how things go with that. Yesterday I went to the boys volleyball game with Ron, Sam, and Alice, which was fun. However, Cabin Fever sucked! I'm not going into it now tho. Sorry for the lazy entry, but I gotta go. Later.

Saturday September 6, 4:59pm
Today was the Popcorn Parade, and while some will tell you they didn't like the parade or there was another aspect of the festivities they enjoyed more, I must say I was glad to march in my last Popcorn Parade. Before the parade started, I got to see Alica, which was nice because I haven't seen her in a long time, and I found out she is a drum major. The band marched very well, with only a couple of glitches here and there. Steve did an awesome display and the courthouse before he and Kyle saluted. Then I came home and eased my sore muscles with a shower then met up with Kyle and Steve at Brewski's for lunch. As for right now, I'm in a relatively weird mood, I guess you could call it "mad energy," but not in an angry way. I think I'm really starting to realize how much music really means to me, and it makes me wonder if I shouldn't be doing more with it in college. I'll probably worry about that on a different day though, I think I'm supposed to be scheming up some plans for tonight, but all I'm in the mood to do is try and watch the parade tonight, but I'm doubting I'll get dice to that. For not I'll just finish my Bohemian Raspberry Jones Natural. Later.

Sunday August 31, 10:21pm
Someday, some how gonna make it alright but not right now. The song "Someday" by Nickelback is really fitting right now. I'm kinda stuck here wondering when things are going to be anything but really dreary. I enjoyed the rain, but it always seems to put me in a somber mood. I think the madness maybe starting up again, but now in a more annoying, probably even more real form. I think I should start e-mailing people I haven't talked to in a long time. Who knows, maybe I can continue the friendship with them. Here's to hoping.

 

Cra-Zay stuff \the gang \expression \leave \from a to Z \behind the scenes\tour \view the jam session \join the jam session

Details:
Time: 6:33pm
Jammin' With: musica
Tempo: overwhelmed
rocking out to: Linkin Park - One Step Closer
Plugging: Runaway
Random Thoughts: "I will not say 'do not weep', for not all tears are an evil" ~ Gandalf (12/28/03)

  • I want to be a fool, but I've recieved some maturity (10/04/03)
  • "to get nowhere, follow the crowd" ~ Charlie Brown (9/14/03)
  • If one ignores a wound, one will find either a nasty scar, or the wound will not fully heal. (8/22/03)
  • If I could ask J.R.R. Tolkien one question, I would ask him if he intended for people to spend hours of their life intrepreting his book and applying it to other things. (8/22/03)
  • "A life lived in fear is a life half lived" ~ Strictly Ballroom
  • Lij: "Geeks are generally the most interesting people."
  • "I think being different, being against the grain of society, is the greatest thing in the world." ~ Elijah Wood

    Countdowns:

    days until Guys and Dolls

    days until I graduate High School

    days 'til I get to see Episode 3!!!


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    to visit this site since October 2, 2001.

    circling, a-circling, circling your head. I kept debating everything you ever said. Now I see the truth, I got doubt. A different motive in your eyes and now I'm out, see you later. I see your fantasy, you want to make it a reality paved in gold. See inside, inside of our heads (yeah) well now that's over. I see your motives inside, decisions to hide. Back off I'll take you on, Headstrong to take on anyone. I know that you are wrong- Headstrong we're headstrong. Back off I'll take you on. Headstrong to take on anyone, I know that you are wrong and this is not where you belong. I can't give everything away, I won't give everything away.

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