Jessica gazed forlornly out her window watching a sole raindrop in rabid fascination as it trickled down her windowpane. As a child rainy days like today had been her favorite. She had loved scampering and splashing about without a care in the world. Back then her biggest pre-occupation had been how to catch falling raindrops on her tongue. She had spent countless hours out in the rain. Things were so different now and she often wondered how things had
gotten to this point.
Since she had moved, rainy days had become reminiscent of a different time. A time filled with happiness and endless possibilities. Possibilities that had dreadfully been stolen away from her with one fell swoop.
She often wondered if her parents ever thought about her. If they spoke about her over dinner or said a silent goodnight to her as she often did to them.
At the thought of them, an inexplicable sense of familiar bitterness engulfed her. They had not been there in her time of need. In fact they had shunned her. They, along with the rest of that quaint, horrible town had insinuated she was a liar. Her parents had even gone as far as publicly re-iterating that they were both shocked and appalled by her actions. Then they audaciously suggested that she seek professional help.
She was an embarrassment to them. After all they had done for her this was what she had done in return? What she had done was unforgivable. According to them, her actions were those of a crazed woman not of someone with any scruples or decency.
Throughout the whole ordeal they had turned their backs on her completely. She was forced to endure everything alone. The endless police questioning, the pristine walls of the hospital and that brash lawyer. Of course they had insisted that such heinous crimes could only be justified by the best of the best which was why they had hired him. He would take care of everything they assured her.
When it had finally been proven that she had not been lying there hadn’t been any word of apology from them. They continued their silent assault, ostracizing her completely from the family. It was this that made her cry night after night. And for that Jessica hated her parents.
Nick stretched lazily, a grumpy sigh escaping from his lips. He hated Monday mornings. After a weekend of excitement and relaxation the last thing he wanted was to head into the office for a day filled with briefs, meetings and stuffy colleagues.
His office, stylishly decorated by a world-renowned interior decorator was a place he loathed. The office was fully equipped with a spectacular view of the New York skyline, a mini refrigerator, healthy ficus and a mini bar – for show purposes only of course. It was strictly forbidden to drink in the office. Nick hated his office with a vengeance. There were always people coming and going, assistants and secretaries who, in their haste, usually forgot to knock. His father visited him no less than twice a day, an assumed look of disinterest upon his face. His eyes never failed to betray him though as they scanned the room inquisitively. It was no secret to Nick that his father was really there to check up on him.
Over the course of the past two years Nick had gradually become accustomed to these visits. He knew what time his father would be arriving and always made sure he was busy even if he had nothing to do. Scatter a few papers here and there, bring out the calculator, write a few numbers on some scrap paper – his father never knew any better.
With a sigh he made his way over to the shower. Turning it on he stripped down as the steam began to permeate the air. He stepped into the shower, the water immediately hot against his skin. As he stood there, the water pelting down on him his mind began to race. A smile crept onto his lips as he began thinking about Jessica. There was something endearing and mystifying about her. Normally after a date he never wanted girls to call. This time was very different.
He had arisen early, tired yet unrelenting. A strong pot of black coffee had sustained him thus far. He wasn’t about to give up now. For hours he had been working. Planning, thinking, creating. As of this moment things were going well. Apparently he worked best in the morning. He sat back, massaging his stiff neck. Closing his eyes, he remembered the first time he had met her. That pristine smile, those innocent blue eyes. He was surprised he had not immediately seen right through her. How could he not have? It all seemed so obvious now. He was usually so perceptive. She had slipped by him however.
This time, she wasn’t going anywhere.
Almost a week had passed since the date. Jessica had not called Nick once. There had been times when she had wanted to. Times when she had picked up his business card, slightly tattered from being endlessly turned over in her hands, and sat by the phone. She had never called though. It all came down one thing. She was scared. Scared that if she opened her heart it would only mean inevitable heartache or worse. She couldn’t go through all that again.
She sat on her bed, hidden carefully beneath the protective layers of her comforter. Glancing at the clock, she realized that it was only then-thirty. She had been in bed since nine that night, aimlessly staring at the wall, for lack of anything better to do.
As she lay there her mind began to drift and wander. A smile played upon her lips as she remembered a childhood fantasy of hers. As all the girls her age she had dreamt of getting married. Prince charming would sweep her off her feet. He would be perfect. She would know when she found him because of his eyes. She pretended that she would be able to see their entire future together with just one look into his eyes.
In a movie she had once seen an outdoor wedding and of course had decided that was what she wanted. They would get married outside on the beach just like the couple in the movie. The sun would shine brilliantly, their hair would blow gently in the fragrant air. It would be just the two of them. No guests, no fancy reception. Her dress would be beautiful. Beautiful yet simple. Nothing gaudy like her mother’s wedding dress had been. According to her mother she had sadly never acquired a taste for the expensive, so-called finer things in life. Her mother had always thought her insane.
As Jessica though about it now, her mother had never really understood her. They had never been close. Her mother had always been too pre-occupied with her own affairs to worry about Jessica. Her father too.
A silly giggle escaped Jessica’s lips as she thought about the fit her mother would throw if she ever learned of Jessica’s wedding fantasies. “What about the swans, the doves, the beautiful ice sculptures? Surely you’ll want to have wild flowers and a live quartet.”
As quick as her happiness appeared, it disappeared. Things weren’t the same anymore. This wasn’t like in the movies where everything always worked out. Sitting there Jessica realized just how fed up with everything she was. She hated feeling so helpless, so useless. Maybe calling Nick wasn’t such a bad idea. After all, lunch with him had been the most fun she had had since she had arrived in New York. He couldn’t very well hurt her over the phone now could he? She wasn’t sure of the answer to that, but decided to call anyhow. Anything was better than sitting here, staring at the wall. She was tired of doing that.
She reached into her drawer and retrieved his card. Then she reached for her cell phone. She had purposely decided not to get a home phone line. It would be pointless. She would never use it. As it was she barely used her cell phone. She kept it around for emergencies. She often laughed at herself wondering what type of emergency she could possibly encounter in the confines of her apartment.
She dialed his number quickly, sure that if she took her time she would hang up. The phone rang a few times before Nick finally picked up. When he did, Jessica immediately heard the sound of loud music and raucous laughter.
“Hello?” Jessica inquired uncertainly. She began wishing that she hadn’t called.
“Jessica?” Nick shouted back, his voice muffled and indistinct over the din. A moment later Jessica vaguely made out what she thought were the words “Hold on” and assumed he was attempting to go somewhere quieter. After a few minutes however she began to wonder if she had heard right.
Finally the noise died down. He must have gone into a different room. “Sorry about that,” he said his voice now filtering clearly through the phone. “There’s a lot of people here tonight,” he added almost casually.
Tempted to ask where he was, Jessica bit back her question. “Is this a bad time?” she inquired instead.
“Not at all. Actually I was hoping that you would call,” he said quietly.
“You were?” she asked quickly, immediately regretting her eagerness.
“Yeah. I had a really good time the other day.”
There was a brief pause before Jessica quietly answered “Me too.” If Nick noticed her apprehension he didn’t say anything. Silence ensued until Jessica broke the ice. “I know it’s kinda late but…do you want to get together for coffee or something?” As soon as the words left her mouth she was immediately horrified. You were supposed to talk to him not ask him out on a heaven’s sake, she thought angrily to herself. It was one of those moments where she felt like pounding her head against a desk - better yet a wall.
“Sure,” Nick replied calmly not missing a beat. Bellaggio again?” he asked.
“Yeah, she said hesitantly. “See you there in half an hour,” she told him before wearily hanging up. What the hell were you thinking? she wondered as she headed off to change.