| Quotes that Kick Part IV |
"Jewish Barbie dolls, with their revealing clothes and shameful postures, accessories and tools are a symbol of decadence to the perverted West. Let us beware of her dangers and be careful." --from an Islamic website "Thought is free." --William Shakespeare "Alot of organizations want to ban cloning all together. Why? We're almost clones now! These scientists are just finishing what the Gap started." --Colin Quinn "Who am I kidding? No one wants to be a bus driver when you can be a BEAR!" --Stu "Fuck pretty." --Christina Aguilera "If you can dream it, you can do it." --Walt Disney "When you get thrown off a horse, you gotta get back up and shoot it, right?" --Quinn W: "You got something on your shirt. Haha! Made you look!" P: "I didn't look, Wayne." --Wayne and Pete "Art washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life." --Pablo Picasso "All is fair in love and war. And dude, this is war." --Spinner "Is your dessert so boring it has your family snoring?" --TV ad "Life is a big canvas. Throw all the paint on it you can." --Danny Kaye "There is nothing as remarkable as learning how to think better." --Unknown "BUT I LOVE BARBIE!" --Aubrey "Death sucks. And that is my profound thought of the day." --Kim "Acting is the absence of acting." --Gary Busey "Your family wouldn't be so poor if you'd just kill your sister." --Jean "Hey, you're not hallucinating! I'm a real loser!" --Ron Stoppable "Come on, guys, Shakespeare said 'cunt'. It's funny." --Drew "After spending time with that space vixen, I'm actually feeling quite benevolent. *pause* Okay, it passed. Destroy!" --Marvin the Martian "A poem is anything that is an expression of... something else." --Lynch "I have many chances to learn from my mistakes...but I never do." --Firefly "I'm like a drug. Only hotter." --Lane "Sanity calms, but madness is more interesting." --John Russell 1: "Dandelions." 2: "Dandelions?" 1: "Monster dandelions." --two unnamed characters in a Japanese film “Kate, I’m sorry. Let me clean that ketchup off of your boob.” --Larry in 'Faces Masked in Warm Regret' "I'm not going to use special pronunciation just to distingiush you from all the other Katies!" --Jean (my name is not Katie, damn it.) "I would rather live in a world where my life is surrounded by mystery than live in a world so small that my mind could comprehend it." --Harry Emerson Fosdick "You don't know the radian. But there is a Greek gentleman who will help you find it! Oh, Pythagorus!" --Ms. Dillon "How many licks DOES it take to get to the Toostie Roll center of a Toostie Pop? And who's idea was it to have chocolate inside a lollipop? Isn't that a tad odd?" --Lane "If you lose something, don't find it, because, when you do find it, it'll have Rabies." --Jason "Blame it on my mother." --Amy (words we can all live by.) K: "Yeah, those last sixteen hours just flew by." D: "That's what happens when you're travelling at the speed of fun." --Kim Possible and her Dad "Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly." --Rose Franken "With our progress we have destroyed our only weapon against tedium: that rare weakness we call imagination." --Oriana Fallaci "They're here. They're zombies. Eh, we might as well see what we can do with them." --Drakken "Don't part with your illusions.When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live." --Mark Twain "Any group activity that forces others to be happy is, by nature, evil." --Gordo "I have great faith in fools ... 'self confidence', my friends call it." --Edgar Allan Poe "Stop in the name of all that which does not suck!" --Butthead "If you don't live it, it won't come out of your horn." --Charlie Parker "I like my privacy way too much to share my room with my brother's wife." --Lucky "I want to bang my wife when I'm married." --Rich "Why pay a dollar for a bookmark? Why not use the dollar as a bookmark?" --Steven Spielberg "Yes! We all love sex! Hot orgasmic sweaty juicy moaning sex! Now let's move on!" --Scott "You shouldn't give me fucking get-to-know-you worksheets if you don't want me to tell the truth!" --Lane "I do absolutely nothing. Except for a few things." --Amy "But John, when the Pirates of the Carribbean breaks down, the pirates don't eat the tourists." --Malcom "You know, Scoob, it just dawned on me: Scooby... Dooby!" --Shaggy (har har. Pot jokes are funny!) "When I was very young, I thought it was just in." --Rich (har har. Sex jokes are funny!) "If saving your friends means that I have to stay in an alternate reality with two hot girls and participate in weird sex acts, then I’m afraid I’ll have to sacrifice myself for that cause." --Scott W. "Did you smoke your mom's crack?" --Stan "Okay. I'm Scott. I'm a Taurus. I look like a troll and I haven't started college yet. I've never been kissed and I'm 24." --Scott B: "Susan B. Anthony, I must know: what does the B stand for?" M: "Bitchin'!" --Brandon and Melissa. "We're Aubrey's "people". We give her staplers and get her laid." --Lane "If we wanted you to hang from the rafters, we'd put up a sign!" --Coach Della Torre "Why is it that, as a society, we are more comfortable watching two men holding guns, instead of holding hands?" --Unknown, taken from an AIM profile "PMS-ing is way hot." --Aubrey "I tell people to fuck off all the time. Well...with my eyes." --Amy Ki:"We're all going to jail. And to hell." K:"But at least we're going together." --Kim and KT "That's what I like about these high school girls: I get older, they stay the same age." --Wooderson "I told Jenn today how I thought puberty should start at seventeen and end at eighteen, or they should change the law to where girls are legal once they finish puberty. Because there's too many hot under-18 girls who are done with puberty." --Richard "I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer." --Douglas Adams "Ever notice how it's a penny for your thoughts, yet you put in your two-cents? Someone is making a penny on the deal!" -- Steven Wright "You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon'." --Chris Rock "The thing that impresses me the most about America is the way parents obey their children." --King Edward VIII "The New Age? It's just the old age stuck in a microwave oven for fifteen seconds." --James Randi "I was going to buy a copy of The Power of Positive Thinking, and then I thought: What the hell good would that do?" --Ronnie Shakes "I thought America needed to see what a normal family was really like." --Sharon Osbourne "Theoretically, we are the worst band ever, in my opinion." --Brandon Boyd of Incubus "Hey, this summer when you're being inendated with all this America, bicentennial, 4th of July brew-ha-ha, don't forget what you're celebrating. And that's that a bunch of slave-owning, aristocratic white males didn't want to pay their taxes. Have a great summer." --Janie "You want coal? We own the mines. You want oil and gas? We own the wells. You want nuclear energy? We own the uranium. You want solar power? We own the... er... ah... Solar power isn't feasible." --political cartoon by Mike Peters "...when you get in the ghetto: 'Hey, bitch, give me your wallet, or I'll stab myself! And then I'll stab you! I'll give you AIDS! And Hepatitis... A, B, and C!'" --Eva "I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada." --Britney Spears K: "Mrs. Cook, I heard a blonde joke this morning on the radio! And I got it!" Mrs. C: "I'm surprised." K: "My mom said the same thing." --Kelly and Mrs. Cook |