Behind the Scenes with the FY Cast!
*a monotone voice speaks from somewhere*
Hello, viewer. Yes you, who is viewing this. Today we have a special treat for you. We will take you on a trip to a zone where no one has ever been before...A dimension of sight, of sound...and of mind...The Twilight Zone...
HOSHI: Pssst!!
Huh??
INORI: That was last weeks show!!! You got the wrong script, man!!!
Oh. Sorry. Ahem! We're going to take a look behind the scenes of "Fushigi Yuugi" or "The Mysterious Play". I am your host, Ben Stain.
*credits roll fast with Ben doing stupid dances and a dopey song*
INORI: Who chose this opening? O.o
HOSHI: It was either this or Hanson...
INORI: O.o I see...
*once the opening is done, Ben appears again*
Ah. There you are. Welcome again. The actors have been chosen and today is the day when they become acquainted with their characters. Let us take a peek.
"Hello, people! Well, let's get this show on the road! Today is the day you guys become better acquainted with your characters" said the director as the actors poured into his office.
"LIKE, OH MY GOSH!! I was actually chosen!!!!!!!" shouted a tall man by the name of Myo Juan. He had been chosen to play Mitsukake, one of the 7 Suzaku Seishi.
"Quiet!"
"Sorry..." said Juan as he sat down, but continued to fidget around excitedly in his seat.
"Hmph...Newbies..." sneered a boy of about 15 named Bo Koutoku.
"You think you're so hot just cause you did that Kelloggs commercial before! Well, now you're just playing Seiryuu Seishi Amiboshi!" said a young man with purple hair who looked like puberty had left him for last.
"Shut up, Ryuuen! You're playing a drag queen!" retaliated Koutoku.
Ryuuen stuttered a bit and his jaw dropped open. "A...A drag queen?!?!?!!" he repeated in shock, "Joe, you didn't tell me anything about this!!!!!"
Joe, Ryuuen's agent, smiled nervously as he tried to explain. "Ryuuen, baby, this is a big gig, and you're perfect for it! You could pass for a girl in an instant! This'll make you famous!"
"I do not want to be known as 'that one guy that can do girl roles'!!!" cried Ryuuen.
"People, people, settle down!" said the director, whose name was Bob, so we'll call him that.
"I've never seen such a display of anger before...it makes my heart ache..." spoke a fiery-red haired man sitting in the corner, almost unnoticed.
"Look!! We have all of you here, FINALLY!" said Bob, before anyone else could interrupt him, "First I will pass out the descriptions of each of you. You are no longer actors, you are Suzaku warriors". He gave each "seishi" a packet.
"This totally rocks, baby!" said a long, green-dyed haired man named Saihitei in a surfer voice, as the rest of the cast left to go to their respective dressing rooms and places and such.
Bob sweatdropped at Saihitei. "That's great, but you will have to... remove the word "Dude" from your vocabulary for one thing..."
"WHAT?!? A 3-foot long braid?!" screeched Ryuuen from the other room.
Shun'u timidly walked up to Bob. "Excuse me, sir, but..do I REALLY have to use this sort of language?"
'Mitsukake' just stared at Shun'u. "You should be bouncing off the walls with JOY that you're here! And we'll get to work with all these FANTASTIC PEOPLE!!"
It was gonna be a long day...
"WHADDYA MEAN I GOTTA KISS HIM!?" said a horrified 'Nakago' as he
pointed to Kishuku, who would be playing Tamahome.
"Look, it's in the script, ok?! It's no big deal!"
'Nakago' sat down and looked very pale. Kishuku promptly sat down and lit a cigarrette. He passed a hand back through his hair, which was all geled up and slicked back. He was going into wardrobe next.
A young girl walked up to 'Suboshi' and 'Amiboshi', who were standing nearby, and looked at them in awe. "Are...are you those two guys from the Doublemint gum commercial??!" she asked excitedly.
"I wish people would forget that commercial..." muttered 'Amiboshi'.
"Uh, yes we are!" said 'Suboshi'.
"C-Can I like, have your autograph!?" asked the girl, teary-eyed.
'Amiboshi' rolled his eyes as his brother signed his autograph onto the girl's gum packet. He then grabbed the gum packet and scribbled his name on it, then tossed it to the girl. "There ya go".
The girl, too happy to notice Amiboshi's meanyness, ran off happily.
"I HAVE TO EAT THAT MUCH!??! But I'm on a diet!!!" wailed the girl that had been cast as the lead, 'Miaka'.
"Look, hon. You're not you anymore. You're Miaka now. And Miaka eats like a pig!" explained Bob exasperatedly.
'Miaka' just looked as if she'd pass out.
"Ryuuen, it's ok! You'll get used to it after awhile! You're Nuriko, the prettiest seishi! You have to look pretty!" said one of the helpers, "Come with me! You need a little more lipstick. This Ruby Red is perfect for you!"
"..."
"You make a beautiful girl, Ryuuen!" said the girl who'd been cast as 'Yui' as she came in the room.
"Hey! Who's the babe?" said 'Tomo' as he followed in the make-up room.
"AAAAAAAAAAAUGH!!!!"
"Um......Mr. Director ...." inquired a puzzled Saihitei, now 'Hotohori', teen Emperor of an entire country, "What on earth do you mean by "Sparkle"? Is this an action of some sort?" He was already getting into his character.
"Uh...just...look pretty" answered Bob.
'Hotohori' blinked.
"I knew people had to wear make-up for TV but this is ridiculous!!!" yelled Chuin pointing at his face as he got done with his photo shoot.
"You have to wear it! That's Tomo's trademark!!" said the photographer, "But we're done with your shoot today, so you can take it off now"
Tomo sighed and mumbled under his breath. He went to the nearest sink and proceeded to scrub his face with all the make-up cleaners he could find.
"Um...THE PAINT'S NOT COMING OFF!!! O.o"
"Everyone's here aren't they??" asked Bob.
"We're missing Dokun... He had to come after school" answered his assistant.
Just then, a little tot wandered into the room. "Uh....is this the Fushigi Yuugi movie place thing? Geez, I dun wanna be here...anyone wanna do my homework for me?" Bob handed him a script. "Here, 'Chiriko'..your part".
'Chiriko' sweatdropped. "I got my lil' brother here too....is he supposed to be evil or something? " He jerked a thumb at a stroller.
Bob looked at the baby. "Oh dear...this puts quite an interesting twist on our plot....Hey, camera!! We're gonna have to use computer graphics on Miboshi!!!!"
The baby started to cry.
"I just...cannot conceive how my character has so much sadness yet...I mean, I grew up in a loving home...12 brothers and sisters...I had a great childhood!" said Nakago thoughtfully.
"You're 'Nakago' now and you're filled with bitterness and pain!" said Bob.
"But...I mean...life is so beautiful...I...All I can think of now is butterflies...how they flutter freely..." said Nakago as he closed his eyes dreamily.
"AARRGH!!" said Bob as he pulled on his hair.
They were interrupted by 'Tasuki'. "I do appreciate the uniform you have presented me with, but I am NOT PIERCING MY EARS!!!!!"
Bob sighed. "Fine fine! Kristin, order some
clip-ons for this guy!"
Saihitei was already washing the dye out of his hair. "Ya' gotta, like, get into your part, man!!"
Just then, Ryuuen walked in fully clothed in his
costume. "I...Oh my, if my mother saw me she'd
have a heart attack..."
Saihitei was struggling to put on his new sword belt. He was curious of his abilities, and unfortunately tried to swing the sword around. "OW!!!!!" He cut himself in the arm. "I could really hurt someone with this thing!!"
"That's the point, you half-wit" said Koutoku as he walked by with his flute in hand.
Ryuuen snapped, "Well, you want a weapon? Try carrying this stupid hair around all the time!!!"
Saihitei just glared at Koutoku. "Well thank you very much,Mr.I-will-kill-you-all-with-my-flute-of-doom"
Shunkaku walked in with his ryuuseisui in hand. "I still don't know how to work this thing...Um, can I have some help?"
"AHAHA! You get a stupid yo-yo???? I know mom always liked me best".
'Yui' walked over to Shunkaku and winked flirtatiously. "Of course, I'll help! Come this way!". Shunkaku gulped and laughed nervously.
"Wait a minute....WAIT A MINUTE, STOP EVERYTHING!!!" yelled 'Mitsukake' stalking over to Bob. "What do you mean I only have 4 lines?!??!?! Where's my agent?!?"
"Stop whining! Weren't you the one all excited about this??" said Houjun as he walked in carefully so as to not hit anyone with his gravity-defying bands.
Chuin remarked nervously: "Well, I know *I* was excited...but I'm scared of my costume..... AND THE PAINT'S STILL NOT COMING OFF!!!! "
'Amiboshi' pointed and started laughing. "It's a cloown! I'm on a team with a circus clown!!!!"
Chuin gave him the Death Glare. They glared at each other for a bit before they got bored of it.
"Oh my! Maybe I can help!" said 'Soi' as she walked over to help Chuin take the paint off.
"Excuse me, Mr. Bob? What about Ashitare?"
"Oh!" said Bob, "We got the maintenance guy to do it. We'll be using last year's 'The Werewolf' costume and some computer graphics"
Doukun started to whine: "But I got my poodle an' everything! He's vicious, I swear!!"
"What are you doing swearing at such a young age??" said a shocked Shun'u
"So which chick's the one I get?" asked Saihitei.
"Um...your 'chick', the empress Houki, will also be played by Ryuuen" answered Bob.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!!!!!!!!" Ryuuen looked at Saihitei and they both promptly passed out.
Bob's face shone with happiness. He walked up to each unconcious seishi and embedded their parts into their brains..." You are an emperor....royalty....."
More screaming was then heard as it was 'Miboshi''s "Nappy-time".
"Look, you don't understand, my father will NOT allow me to wear this!!" cried 'Soi'
"Wow...I play a poor person...Have I even met a poor person before?" said Kishuku as he rubbed his chin.
"By the way, Kishuku, the goatee and mustache have to go" said Bob.
"My buddy Tony got me this gig" said Kishuku in a thick New York accent, "But he didn't say nothin' about me gettin' rid of my goatee. I thought I got to make out with some chick a lot".
Bob was about to answer when Saihitei walked by and smiled. "I....am an Emperor"
Bob sweatdropped. "Very good..."
"So who are you? Bow to me."
Shun'u piped out of nowhere, "I fight......with WHAT?!?!?"
"A fan! They're all the rage! Haven't you seen Kitana from Mortal Kombat?"
'Nakago' walked out of the sound room. "I told you people I couldn't sing!!
He almost bumped into 'Yui', who was walking out of hair and make-up. "I don't wanna cut my hair! you know how long it took to grow that long?!?!
Inside the sound room, others were still rehearsing for their songs.
"I'm going through puberty okay?!" said 'Amiboshi' as his voice cracked.
"Puberty decided to play a joke on me and leave me for last..." grumbled Ryuuen, "I told you this is as deep as my voice goes!"
Bob sighed happily. This would come together really well.
*monotone voice* And so you have seen a look behind the scenes of "Fushigi Yuugi". Tune in next week for the exciting new special from the Discovery Channel, "Moles". I am Ben Stain.
Tsuzuku...?
