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| My Computer Went to Hell! The fall semester is well underway, and it has been tough on my chubby ass. No, it really has. I always complain about something going wrong every semester, usually because something goes wrong, but this semester has been particularly relentless. I’ve had three devastating deaths in the family. Sherry, my beautiful little hamster, whom all members of my house adored, gave up the ghost quietly in her sleep one night—oddly enough, she had been playing in her cage all day with such vigor, I was certain she’d outlive us all just that day. Grandma’ (I called her Maw maw when I was very young—hey, I’m a West Virginian!) died early in the semester. This left me concerned about my mother and all that stuff, as she is highly emotional and can sometimes be unstable in that respect. Then it happened. My computer died in a furious blaze of burned-popcorn-smelling sparks about two weeks ago. The days have been slow and somber since this great loss. Don’t get me wrong, I miss my grandma’ and Sherry, but I didn’t use them to type up my papers. The loss of actual life is by far greater, of course, but I can still miss my computer, too. It’s obvious that my computer went to hell. I mean, it never professed a belief in the Lord Jesus Christ as its savior; nor did it express any belief that Jesus existed; was the Son of God; or that God or any gods exist. I can only conclude from the fiery sparks that issued from the back of my computer as it choked out that horrid burned-popcorn smell, that my computer must have earned itself a one-way trip to Hell. I mean, if it went to heaven, would fire have been involved? It’s not like the thing was in a burning building. Fire and sparks came from within the computer, within . . . presumably where the spirit-self exists. Yup, my computer is roasting in hell for ever and ever. [Note: The computer is still dead, I’m actually updating this site from my school’s library. :-/ I’m supposed to be studying, but I needed a rest.] |