Grief Page 2
On this page I will start to share some basic spiritual ideas to help you cope with the loss of your loved one.  I have tried to keep these ideas basic so they can fit in with most religious belief systems.  If they insult your belief system please accept my apologies....
Candles -  Most faiths believe in lighting a candle to honour their deceased.  When my Mother's light left this world I decided to honour her with a candle being lit every night for one year (circumstances allowing of course).
Each night when I settle down to relax and watch TV or listen to music I have a framed picture of Mum in both my bedroom and the lounge room.  At this time, I light the candle and offer up a small prayer or simply a 'I love you Mum'.
When I am ready to go to bed I blow out the candle until the next night.  I will do this for one full year.  In my heart, mind and soul I am honouring or doing a Remembrance for Mum.  I will do the same for my father when he passes on also.  Later on I will share with you some candle remembrances that you can make more personal.
GRIEF JOURNAL - A nicely bound book where you can record anything to do with your loss and your grief.  You can write your emotions in it.  Put in nice poems from sympathy cards.  Put in the sympathy cards, funeral notice from the paper, death certificate, old photos of you and your loved one.  In the end it could easily become an heirloom of love to be handed down to your own children to remember their ancestor etc.
BOOK OF VERSE - I created again from a nicely bound book or journal, a Book of Verse.  I have written in favourite quotes on life and death, favourite poetry on life and death, and many other subjects as well,  Inspirational Quotes, Affirmations., Spiritual Quotations etc.
Never again will I be at a loss to know what to write in a sympathy card! LOL
I also read back through this Book of Verse, when I am feeling down and need a little inspiration.
ANGEL STATUE - I found a lovely resin adult angel statue suitable for indoors or out.  I chose to put her in the garden as a Memorial for my Mum.  I attached a small cheap china vase with blue tack and a simple tealight candle holder.  When I need to I can leave a flower for my Mum or light a candle in her honour, and let it burn down itself or let it burn until the wind blows it out.  Or, you can simply 'talk' with the angel as though it was your loved one.  Just make sure there are no neighbours around!!!

We cannot always easily access crematoriums or graveyards for many reasons, so now I have a little place in the yard that is totally inconspicuous where I can remember and honour Mum.
SLIDESHOW - I made a slideshow on the computer focusing on Mum's life from birth to death. Showing her at all ages, with lovely music playing.  I burned it to video cd and can watch it when I want to or it is simply a nice little heirloom for my son to remember his Grandma one day.
LETTER TO YOUR LOVED ONE - This is not as crazy as it sounds.  Many believe that writing all your emotions down, your feelings of loss, pain, lonliness, grief etc is good therapy. You simply write them a letter as you would've many times in life.
But how to deliver your message to your loved one?  When finished the letter you can light it over an ashtray, china bowl or put it in the fireplace.  The smoke sends your letter to heaven.
Or, on a windy day, you can put that letter into a balloon, blow it up, knot it and take it outside and release it, allowing the breeze to take it where it will.  The wind will deliver your message.
The balloon idea is great for children too, to say goodbye to Grandma, or write what they need to tell her..
PLANT A TREE OR BUSH - Plant a Rose Bush, Shrub, Tree in your yard in honour of your loved one.  All the family could be gathered when it is planted an each place a shovel of dirt on it.  Henceforth it will be known as Grandma's Frangipani Tree etc.
MAKE A CD - Make a CD of your loved ones Favourite Songs and you can listen to it whenever you need to feel close to them.
ACTION - Everywhere I have read that the best thing to help with grief is ACTION.  You have to keep the mind and body busy so you have less time to think about your loss. You are the captain of your own ship, you decide it's course.  There is still plenty of time to remember your loved one at night.  They wouldn't want you to spend all day and night everyday mourning them and missing out on new golden memories you can make with friends and family.
ACTION MAY NOT ALWAYS BRING HAPPINESS, BUT THERE IS NO HAPPINESS WITHOUT ACTION - Benjamin Disraeli.
These are just a few simple ideas I have come up with in the last 6 months or so since Mum passed away.  Everyone is different and none of these ideas may appeal to you but I wanted to share them in case it helps someone somewhere..
Grief Page 3 will be a few basic prayers or rituals you can use to help honour your loved one..
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