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Jaidsada's Thai Joke 
Joke
from Chadin (24 March 2000)
> TEACHER: George, go to the map and find
North America.
> GEORGE: Here it is!
> TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered
America?
> CLASS: George!
> TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing
we have today
> that we didn't have ten years ago.
> WILLY: Me!
> SUBSTITUTE TEACHER: Are you chewing
gum?
> BILLY: No, I'm Billy Anderson.
> TEACHER: Didn't you promise to behave?
> STUDENT: Yes, Sir.
> TEACHER: And didn't I promise to punish
you if you didn't?
> STUDENT: Yes, Sir, but since I broke my
promise, I don't expect you to keep yours.
> TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always
get so dirty?
> TOMMY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground
then you are.
> HAROLD: Teacher, would you punish me for
something I didn't do?
> TEACHER: Of course not.
> HAROLD: Good, because I didn't do my homework.
> TEACHER: Why are you late?
> WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
> TEACHER: What sign?
> WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead,
Go Slow."
> TEACHER: I hope I didn't see you looking
at Don's paper.
> JOHN: I hope you didn't either.
> GARY: I don't think I deserve a zero on
this test.
> TEACHER: I agree, but it's the lowest mark
I can give you.
> MOTHER: Why did you get such a low mark
on that test?
> JUNIOR: Because of absence.
> MOTHER: You mean you were absent on the
day of the test?
> JUNIOR: No, but the kid who sits next to
me was.
> SILVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark?
> FATHER: I think so. What do you want me
to write?
> SYLVIA: Your name on this report card.
> TEACHER: Well, at least there's one thing
I can say about your son.
> FATHER: What's that?
> TEACHER: With grades like these, he couldn't
be cheating.
> TEACHER: In this box, I have a 10-foot snake.
> SAMMY: You can't fool me, Teacher... snakes
don't have feet.
> HYGIENE TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases
caused by biting insects?
> JOSE: Don't bite any.
> TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting
with "I".
> ELLEN: I is...
> TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say, "I am."
> ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter
of the alphabet."
> TEACHER: Max, use "defeat," "defense," and
"detail" in a sentence.
> MAX: The rabbit cut across the field, and
defeat went over defense before detail.
> MOTHER: Why on earth did you swallow the
money I gave you?
> JUNIOR : You said it was my lunch money.
> TEACHER: If you received $10 from 10 people,
what would you get?
> SASHA: A new bike.
> TEACHER: If you had one dollar and you asked
your father for another, how many dollars would you have?
> VINCENT: One dollar.
> TEACHER(sadly): You don't know your arithmetic.
> VINCENT(sadly): You don't know my father.
> TEACHER: If I had seven oranges in onehand
and eight oranges in the other, what would I have?
> CLASS COMEDIAN: Big hands!
A Mother and her little girl
(10
Nov 98)
A Mother told her little girl: "If someone sexually
harrass you by
touching your top part, you must said "DON'T!".
Touching your low part you must say "STOP!"
".
Next day, the little girl came back home and told
her mother she was sexually harrassed.
The mother was so angry and asked the little girl did
she reject that man.
The little girl gave an innocent look and nodded her
head and said,
"That man touched my top and low part
at the same time, so
I said " DON'T STOP! ... "
Dad? (10
Nov 98)
A young punker gets on a cross-town bus. He's
got spiked,
multicolored hair that's green, purple, and
of course orange.
His clothes are a tattered mix of leather rags.
His legs are bare
and he's without shoes. His entire face and
body are riddled
with pierced jewelry and his earrings are big,
bright feathers.
He sits down in the only vacant seat, directly
across from an old man
who just glares at him for the next ten miles.
Finally the punk gets self conscious and barks
at the old man:
"What are you looking at you old fart....didn't
you ever do anything
wild when you were young?"
Without missing a beat, the old man replies:
"Yeah. Back when I was young and in the Navy,
I got drunk in Singapore and had sex with a
parrot.
I thought maybe you were my son."
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