She's whistle bait, she’s the one for me . . .

When I first bought this double-album as a cutout, some time in the early 80’s (the decade, not my age), I not only had no idea whose photo graced the cover, I guessed they were extremely unconvincing models from a 1950’s Sears & Roebuck catalog. I mean, look at Larry’s left hand on the guitar neck! He’s not even forming a chord, for cry-eye!

Well, string me up by a double-neck Dano if those two didn’t turn out to be the Collins Kids! And their two solo tracks alone make these LPs worth tracking down (if not investing in the thorough-as-always Bear Family collection). In fact, as a duo and apart, the Collins are such a dominant presence on this set—five of the 24 cuts—that the big names like Cash, Wray, and Perkins are just gravy.

Lorrie may have been wholesome enough for Ozzie Nelson to let her date Ricky, but you’d never know it from her sultry way with “Rock Boppin’ Baby.” It’s the kind of simmering delivery that makes you look over your shoulder to make sure your old man doesn’t catch you listening to it!

If the cover shot of Lorrie doesn’t jibe with the way she puts across this song, there’s no believing that crew-cut Cleaver-looking kid next to her is the horn dog singing “Whistle Bait”! Though the vocal range sounds prepubescent, the lasciviousness had me checking to see if it wasn’t Gene Pitney panting over “that gal walkin’ down the street.”

(Someday I’ll have to play this back-to-back with Pitney’s “Heartbreaker” … as rabid as Gene sounds on that one, I’m guessing little Larry Collins sounds even more hot to trot here.)*

Then danged if Larry doesn’t totally put this thing on ice with a smoking, proto-punk, caveman guitar lead that’s as elemental and effective as his vocal.

Ninety-some seconds, and it leaves you feeling like Eddie Haskell just told you he banged your daughter and then shows you the video he posted on the Internet.

There’s plenty more to enjoy on this set’s four LP sides (and either it’s been released on CD or AMG’s release date of 1995 is way off), although it all seems a little tame after that 1-2 Collins assault. The Link Wray tracks aren’t among his best known, or best IMO, and they must’ve tapped Carl Perkins’ prime ‘billy material on Volume One, as these selections tend more toward his country side. Still, it’s nice having a couple Sleepy LaBeef covers, if only so you can say you own a record by Sleepy LaBeef.

When I was on the binge (which became the first of many) during which I bought this, I also picked up another compilation that had the quintessential rockabilly shot of Ersel Hickey on the cover, a photo that’s become second only to early Elvis pix as being emblematic of this music. Can’t remember a single song off that set.

And yet, I could recite every lyric to both those Collins’ cuts off the album with the Sears models on front.

* Another song I need to A/B with “Whistle Bait” is “Down By the Lazy River” by the Osmonds. Yeah, I was way too cool for the Osmonds when they were having hits, but have since come to appreciate the sound of these barely-repressed straight arrows, and it’ll be interesting to contrast young Donnie with similarly-pitched wild child, Larry.

Take me back where I came from . . .