1. Everyone close to me that has children knew this was going to happen but they felt I did not need to know because depriving me of that information is just some sick joke to them.
2. No one knew this and those who did know this just forgot.
3. Those that are already parents fell no one told them so why should they tell anyone else. (I think this is the most likely explanation, but it has to stop. I have made it my personal vendetta to stop the abusive cycle of keeping parental secrets to myself. I tell all that are about to become new parents the dirty little unknowns of small babies.)
These people are supposed to be close loved ones (family, friends, people I occassionally used for free beer, etc.) but they somehow felt that vital information was not really important to share. Afterall, I would find out soon enough that not only would I get no sleep but I would start to get negative amounts of sleep. Don't ask me how, because all I know right now is that I only get about minus twelve hours of sleep a week. But, don't cry for me yet, because that is actually up from the minus 20 hours of sleep I was getting just a few months back.
Also, why did no one bother to tell me that once my wife stopped breastfeeding exclusively and we started feeding him babyfood (no formula is allowed in my house) that his diapers would REALLY start to stink? I mean, my god, it smells like he has twenty pounds of crap in his diaper just when he farts. What in the hell is up with that? How in the world does such a small creature produce a smell so large that it could kill cattle?
Teething. Does someone want to tell me what is up with teething? Why can't the teeth grow in during the day? It seems the only time his teeth bother him is when I absolutely must go to bed. He will laugh and play all day long, but the minute my wife and I lay our heads down to sleep he is up screaming because his gums hurt. Now, I know this is not his fault. It seems to be some sort of cruel joke that biology is playing on us and him. I am sure my son would like to be able to sleep at night pain free.
Finally, why did no one tell me that the pharmeceutical companies are out to destroy me? Why is it that baby formulas of medicines have less active ingredients, come in smaller sizes, and are far less effective, but somehow cost much, much, MUCH more than ordinary medicines? I think it is a damn conspiracy. It is like the heads of the companies all got together and said, "Well, the product is less effective, comes in a smaller size, the consumer will use more of it because they will spill half of it just trying to get the kids to take it, and we will use less ingredients to make it all. Overall, these formulas will cost us far less to make. So, what we should do is slap the word 'baby' on it and charge a billion times more for it!"
Damn it and I fall for it all because I don't want the full strength medicine to cause my child to fall into a coma or something. Ha, comas, that is just another myth that I refuse to disbelieve. Maybe I can write about that next?