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Here are a few ground breaking tips, tricks and marvels guaranteed to bring you dreams beyond your wildest riches!

Folding Chair Sluice

Black Sand Sluice

Mini Sluice

Gas Vacuum

Prospecting Trip

Tasty Recipes

Survival Links

Relocating?

Do you love turning up acres of desert dirt, dung and dust, simultaneously dodging automatic weapon fire from boarder drug dealers? Do you enjoy the din of the 2-cycle engines used in strip mining the virgin desert? I know, I do! I spend every waking moment plowing up the inhospitable terrain, enduring 110 degree heat, wheezing and choking on the sulphurous red dust, doing work you couldn't trick an idiot into doing. After a long weekend, if I'm lucky, I might come home with a grain of low grade flour. My family thinks I'm psychotic, they should talk!

hand.jpg (24608 bytes) Here find some ideas and tools used in my fruitless search for gold. If you don't want to find gold, you need the right equipment and lots of it. Soon I'll be adding many exotic desert locations, pinpointing exactly where I don't find gold. One thing's for sure, if you use what I use and go where I go, there will be gold in the Arizona desert for many generations to come.

There is mucho more coming to this priceless slice of cyberspace. Be sure to bookmark this page so we can all not find gold together.

Mi Pena Es Su Pena!

 

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It makes me sick when I think of all the old lawn chairs I've thrown out. A folding aluminum lawn chair makes a perfect frame for this sluice and probably a million other things. The 10"X 36" Keene sluice is hung or hanged from the top of the backrest with two chains. A piece of that foam pipe insulation is glued around the front of the seat support where the sluice rests. It's the monsoon season and we still don't have enough water to run the sluice, thusly those big green storage containers. Fill the back tank with water, pump it down the sluice into the front tank and it's returned by hose. In the bottom picture you see la crem de la crem of set ups. The big Keene in the background to get the black sand and the mini sluice downstream to recover the gold. With chains adjusted to the perfect drop and pitch, water flowing over the rifles and me shoveling the the gold rich earth into the Keene, shouldn't I be finding some gold? A guy just a hundred yards down stream was whooping and dancing and hollering with joy every time he cleaned his sluice. My site was silent like a tomb. Bad karma? Another wasted weekend.

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sluice1.jpg (54736 bytes) This self contained black sand sluice is cheap and it makes a relaxing waterfall sound. The blue tank is a Wal-Mart cooler with the lid removed and drain plug replaced with a 12 volt RV water pump. The sluice is made up of two eave extensions with areas cut out of the top for feeding in dirt and snifting out iron pyrite. The sluice is lined with ribbed rubber matting. It's all held in place with a double X-frame of PVC water pipe. All pipes are capped to keep out scorpions and millipedes. Finally, a short section of clear tubing running from the pump to a hole just behind the feeding port completes the ill-fated project. I pour in two gallons of water, hook up the battery, add black sand and voila... another wasted weekend!

When not sluicing in the bush, we put this showpiece in the center of Ma's Gnome garden. At night with the water trickling, the mood-light reflecting off the aluminum siding and Ol' Glory waving above, it makes the double-wide look like the Mall of America. God Bless the USA!

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You don't have to be no rocket scientist to make one of these, in fact you don't even need one of these. You can take a ribbed rubber mat or even your door mat, throw it in the creek, pile stones on it and there it is! I sneak out the day before a big rain and place my "Mi Casa Es Su Casa" door mat in a dry wash, drop a few big rocks on it and stop back in a few days to check the quantity of gold I've acquired. Of course this is Southern Arizona, they understand the "Mi Casa Es Su Casa" concept, so someone has always swiped my gold and my mat. It would work in Minnesota.

This complex piece of equipment is made from a three foot chunk of PVC eave extension with a slot cut in the top so you can easily see that there is no gold in it. It is lined with ribbed rubber matting. The legs are threaded rod with clear tubing covers. I've attached a "sluice box" type gold pan to feed the unit. In theory, it's kind of a rocker box, sluice box and separator all in one. In reality, it's just a dust collector in my garage. As you see in picture three , I have formed a clip at the outlet for attaching a square gold pan. Why? Obviously to catch the golf ball sized gold nuggets that roll right over the rifles and down the sluice. In the lower picture you see the ingenious attachment for hook up to a garden hose. It's made for those manic moments when I get attacked by killer bees before working my black sand. I throw everything in the old Land Rover, race to the emergency room, then process the dirt at home after the swelling goes down.

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Nothing puts the "ing" back in prospecting or sweeping like the Poulan Pro 420, 2 cycle, gasoline powered portable vacuum. I got this great Poulan leaf blower off ebay for $10, it cost me another $10 for shipping and $4 to replace the starter rope that was missing, $6 for the bucket and the coupling, I lifted the hose from Ma's old vacuum. Using my illegal switchblade, I cut a hole in the lid and screwed the coupling on and sealed it. The intake on the bucket is just a hole drilled half way up the bucket. The hose mount is riveted to the bucket and sealed. I glued and screwed half of a thick plastic bottle on the inside of the pail to direct the dirt away from the blower intake.

Ma was sure taken back with me and my Poulan 420. Just as she returned home from a colonic cleansing party the exhaust cloud lifted exposing our house, vacuumed to perfection. She was struck dumb! The 420 cleaned up everything, larva, seepage, clay, everything! What a warm fuzzy that gave me.

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A typical prospecting weekend, no gold but I found Allah for a minute.

I left Tucson about 3pm heading Mexico way on 83. About twenty miles from the boarder I turned on Gardner Canyon Road then 163 to 4113. I followed the washed out trail past Kentucky Camp ghost town, deep into the forbidding desert foothills where the trail ends at a dry creek bed. I followed the creek till it became a bolder strewn impasse. Forced to stop for the night, I found a piece of ground that was was solid bedrock except for a small sandy area just big enough for the tent. The sandy spot was full of what appeared to be gopher holes, I filled them in and set up camp. It was getting dark fast. I threw my stuff in the tent and began blowing up the air mattress. I forgot the air pump so I personally blew up that queen size Coleman. When finished I was drenched with sweat and dizzy. I laid down on the mattress and felt it slowly going flat. It took about an hour before I was on the hard ground. I blew it up again and laid down, sweaty and dizzy again. In spite of the moving shadows and rustling underbrush, I dozed off at 11pm for an hour of restless sleep. At midnight I woke up on the ground, freezing. The temperature dropped from 100 degrees to 40 in just a few hours and I had nothing to cover up with, no sleeping bag, nothing. I put on all the clothes I had, rolled myself up in the deflated air mattress and shivered. I kept hearing bird calls outside, like the signal calls from hostile Apaches in the old 50's westerns. I heard things, they were moving out there. At 1am whatever lived in all of those gopher holes I filled in started digging their way out. Digging and scratching at the tent floor. If I slapped the tent floor and screamed the scratching and gnawing would stop for about three minutes. I laid there freezing on the bumpy ground, slapping and screaming and trying to guess the exact moment the next scratching and gnawing would start up again. By 5am I was guessing their ritual within a few seconds every time. About 6am just as the gnawing and scratching stopped and the Apaches went home, the buzzing started. Bigger than bumble bee or June bug buzzing, big buzzing, like blenders full of rattle snake tails whirling around the tent, the kind of buzzing that will make a Christian out of you. At 7am, red eyed and clinging to life by a thread, I unrolled myself and peeked outside. There were a few bugs and new gopher holes but that big buzz was from about thirty humming birds flying around the tent. Maybe the yellow tent attracted them, maybe they were humming birds from hell! I stumbled out of the tent swatting at the humming birds and stomping on the gopher holes. I grabbed my camera and tripod, took a quick picture of me by the sluice and another of the tent that had been my cell of horrors. I threw everything in the Land Rover, headed for home and never looked back. Another wasted weekend!

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desert.jpg (32216 bytes) The Arizona Desert can serve up some of the best eats you ever ate and from some exceptionally exotic quarry. Here are some tried and true favorites, savory fare fit for a 49er. Bon Appetite y'all!

Buffalo Eagle Wings: A real 4th of July treat! Mix the following seasonings together, 2 tsp of salt, paprika, cayenne pepper, onion powder, garlic powder and crushed red pepper. In a large iron pan, over a good hot camp fire, melt 5 tbsp of butter and an equal amount of tabasco sauce, pour into a tin plate and let cool slightly. Add a half dozen big eagle wings. Turn to coat, add your seasonings and work in with your hands. Next, heat a couple cups of oil in your iron pan. Add the eagle wings in a single layer and fry till crisp and golden brown. If you are running low on eagles in your area, here's my solution. After removing the live eagle from the trap, place twist ties securely at the base of the wings. You may then snip off the wings, avoiding the usual hemorrhaging from the wounds. The eagles heal quickly and I have seen no ill effects, in most cases. Near Patagonia AZ where I have most of my Raptor nets, I occasionally see herds of my special "Land Eagles" numbering in the hundreds, running through the hills.

Blitzed Buzzard: Over a medium sized camp fire hang a 4 1/2 quart iron pot. To the pot add, oil, 1 chopped onion, 2 cloves of garlic, some chili powder and cook till onion is tender. Add 1 cup of tequila, 1/4 cup water, 1/4 cup raisins, 10 pimiento stuffed olives,5 serrano peppers, salt and pepper. To the mix add 3 or 4 pounds of cut up California Condor, turning to coat. Cover and cook for 2 hours, uncover and cook 1/2 hour more. Transfer Condor to tin plate. To drippings add 2 tbsp cornstarch and tequila to make 1 1/2 cups, heat and stir till thick and bubbly. Spoon over Condor and garnish with blackened mescal.

Pan Fried Pigmy Owl Aguascalientes: Over a medium camp fire hang a large iron pan. Gut, pluck and cut up 2 Pigmy Owls. To the pan, add oil, owls, salt and pepper. Cook till brown, about 15 minutes. Add 1 sliced onion, 1 clove garlic, 3 chopped tomatoes and juice of 1 lemon. Cover and cook for 30 minutes or till owl is tender. Transfer owl to tin plate. Combine 2 tbsp cornstarch and 1/4 cup water, add to pan drippings. Cook till thick and bubbly. Spoon over owl and garnish with deviled Masked Bobwhite eggs. (note, if using spotted owl, add 15 minutes to final cook time).

Jaguarundi Stuffed Peregrine Falcon: Over a medium camp fire hang a large iron pan. To the pan add 1 pound of ground Jaguarundi meat, 1/2 chopped onion and a few garlic cloves. Cook till meat is brown and onion is tender. Next, add 2 peeled and chopped tomatoes, 1 chopped apple, 1/4 cup raisins, 6 chopped jalapeno peppers, stir and cook for 2 minutes. Remove from heat, add salt and pepper, cool slightly. Pluck and gut 1 Peregrine Falcon. Place a spoonful of stuffing in the neck cavity, lightly spoon remaining stuffing into body cavity, tie legs securely to tail, tuck wingtips under back. Place stuffed Falcon in pan breast side up and brush with butter. Cover and cook over a low fire or embers for 4 or 5 hours. Take off fire and let cool for 5 minutes. Spoon fat from pan drippings. Mix 1/4 cup flour and 1 cup of white wine, add to drippings and cook till thick and bubbly. Spoon over Falcon and garnish with hard boiled Willow Flycatcher eggs.

Gila Jerky: This delicious treat requires the tails from three or four fat Gila Monsters. After *carefully removing the tail just behind the back legs, make a slit up the entire length of the tails bottom side. Spread tail at the incision and remove the sections of back bone. Skin and wash tails well. Mix the following ingredients: 2/3 cup worcestershire sauce, 2/3 cup soy sauce, 1 tablespoon of each: tabasco sauce, crushed red pepper, salt, garlic and onion powder. In a large plastic bag mix tails and all ingredients, work with hands to completely coat tails. Marinate overnight in a cool place. Next day, start a campfire using mesquite if possible. Place a large slab of flat rock (16"X16" more or less) in the center of the fire. When flames burn down leaving embers, shake off excess spice and place your tail flat on the heated stone, sit back and relax. Drying time will vary, smaller tails take 3 to 4 hours and large tails up to 6 hours. *Please respect our desert creatures. Using anything less than sharp, disinfected pruning shears for tail removal can result in embarrassing scaring.

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Here's a few sites you'll be needing in the unforgiving southwest desert"

Here's a bunch of real Desert Gold Diggers. If you want to work private club claims in southern Arizona or you're just a big sissy and scared to go out all alone, this group is just the ticket. I'm no sissy, I joined to win the gold nuggets at the monthly raffle and they let me sit on their burro. http://home.att.net/~desert-gold-diggers/

If you're heading into the Arizona desert you will eventually be bitten by one or more highly venomous snakes. FYI, the Sonora desert has more varieties of Rattle Snake than any other point on earth. http://www.fda.gov/fdac/features/995_snakes.html

Multiple scorpion bites are a sure thing down here, they're hiding in every nook and cranny. Extreme pain but not deadly to most. http://www.sasionline.org/cut2pepe.htm

Scores of God fearing men, women and children are attacked daily by our Africanized Killer Bees. Focusing their tenacious blitzkrieg on the eyes and mouth, it is impossible to escape once they get their "attack scent" on you. http://bees.ucr.edu/

Our lovely Sonora Desert is the main entry point for the in-pouring of illegal drugs from Central and South America. I personally know of two men who were given Colombian neck ties then shot by drug cartel mauls while panning for gold. You must know how to treat your wounds should you survive the horror. http://www.uic.edu/depts/doms/rounds-6.html

"Basement Chemistry for the Prospector." I perused this site but numerous heterogeneous words left me befuddled. You draw your own hypothesis. http://members.home.net/kwilliams00/bcftp/bcftp.htm

Warm & fuzzy feedback to: jamie42148@msn.com

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This lovely picture displays my Series 2-A Land Rover. That person blocking  the left  door is my wife Mikey. She sells real estate in Tucson Arizona. She, like the Land Rover, gives me a lot of grief but is very good at what she does. If you been  pondering a winter retreat or a permanent home here in southern Arizona, check out Mikey's web site, send an email or give her a call. Sorry about this shameless promotion... she made me do it!

Mikey Girard

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E-Mail mikeyg@mikeygirard.com

Phone 520 918-2432

www.tucsonrealestatearizona.com

 

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