The Ayn Rants - An Unwarranted Attack Against Ayn Rand
The Ayn Rants originally appeared on the Absurd Pamphlet Press website (www.abpam.com) which is now defunct. However, due to popular demand, the work of your favorite ranters is recreated here, for your enjoyment. Poor Ayn Rand, she almost escaped our wrath.
Ayn Rand: She Can Write Like a Motherfucker
The Works of Ayn Rand: Books I Don't So Much Read
As Use To Prop Up Other
Books On My SHelf
The Works of Ayn Rand: Would Someone Fuck This
Woman So She'll Shut Up?
The Works of Ayn Rand: Oh Wait, She's Dead
The Works of Ayn Rand: The Books I'm Most Likely
To Hollow Out To Hide Things In
The Works of Ayn Rand: I'll Wait For The Movies;
On Second Thought, I'll Wait For
Someone to Tell Me About The Movies; On Third Thought,
Fuck Off
Ayn Rand: You brought misery upon yourself with
that zany name spelling: A
Conservative Reader speaks out
Ayn Rand: She Rand So Far Away / She couldn't get
away
Ayn Rant: I'm Sorry, That Should Say "Rand."
But You Have To Admit It's Pretty
Funny Anyway
Ayn Rand: Good story, TIGHTEN IT UP.
Ayn Rand: Creator of First Dyke Haircut
Ayn Rand: Yeah, Yeah, Whatever. Spell It However
You Want It, It's Still Basically
ANN
Ayn Rand: Know what? Chicken Butt...Humor, Use
It
Ayn Rand: First Woman To Associate Superfluous
"Y"s With Feminism
Ayn Rand: Probably Also Used The Word "Womyn,"
If You Know What I Mean
Ayn Rand: You...complete me. I'm just kidding,
you bore me to death
Ayn Rand: You Had Me At Hello. NOT.
Ayn Rand: Know What? I Don't Give The Slightest
Crap Who John Galt Is
An Analysis of the Ayn Rand Dialectic: A Semester
Of Your Life Wasted For Some
Shitty College Course
Ayn Rand: I never knew who you were until I had
someone define Pretentious
Ayn Rand: Who Knew I Hated You This Much?
Ayn Rand: Her First Name Doesn't Rhyme With "Pain,"
Although It Should
Ayn Rand: Talk about beating a dead horse!
Ayn Rand: One Woman's Vision of a Boring World
Ayn Rand: You can lead a feminist to humor, but
you can't make her laugh
Ayn Rand: I wrote a poem for you...Ayn Rand, Her
Books Are Like Sand, To Some
They Are Essential, to Me They Are Bland
Ayn Rand: Not Even Any Good Sex Scenes To Make
This Bearable
Ayn Rand: If I Want To Look Snotty, I'll Just Carry
The Fountainhead Around
Ayn Rand: I Suggest Drawing In The Outer Margins
and Turning This Into an
Animated Flipbook
Ayn Rand: Books They Tell You You MUST Read, But
They Said That About The
Bridges Of Madison County, Too, And Look How That Turned Out
Ayn Rand: If Only There Had Been A "Fountainhead"
In Her Life, If You Follow Me,
We Wouldn't Have Had To Read The Book Of The Same Name
Ayn Rand: Atlas Shrugged, Then Fell Asleep From
Boredom
Ayn Rand: If Only I Hadn't Seen Your Book On The
Bus This Morning, You Might
Have Escaped Unscathed
Ayn Rand: She Can Bring Home The Bacon, Fry It
Up In A Pan, And Then Write 200
Pages About It
Ayn Rand: Setting The Literacy Effort Back Some
Twenty Years
Ayn Rand: YAP YAP YAP
Ayn Rand: (Making Excess Talking Motion With Hand-Puppet)
Ayn Rand: Was Ist Diene Sache? Subtitle: WHAT IS
YOUR POINT?
Ayn Rand: Less is More, More is You
Ayn Rand: There's This Guy I Hate, Can You Write
Sixteen Novels About Him?
Ayn Rand: Prototype For Sexless Evil Female Character
in All Future Films
Ayn Rand: Check Out The Garbanzos On That Tomato!
Hubba Hubba!
Ayn Rand: In A Previous Age We Would Have Called
Her a "Spinster"
Ayn Rand: I Think Your Books Are Brilliant And
Insightful While Also Maintaining The
Readers Interest, Oh, I'm Sorry, I Thought You Were Someone Else
Ayn Rand: Once Assigned To Me As A Punishment
Ayn Rand: If I Was Never Sent To A Desert Island
And Had My Choice Of Any Books
To Read? Yours Would Be Next To Last.
Ayn Rand: Spend My Time Living Life Or Read Your
Books...I'll Take Life
Ayn Rand: The Only Value In This Book Is That I
May Be Able to Gnaw The Glue Out
of The Binding If I Am Trapped Somehow With
It and Starving
Ayn Rand: My Coffee Tables Have No Rings As Long
As Your Books Are Around
The Books of Ayn Rand: A Good Size for Bug-Killing
Ayn Rand: How I Made It Through A Cold, Dark Winter....BURNING
HER BOOKS
The Books of Ayn Rand: You'll Notice These Pages
Aren't Dog-Eared
The Books of Ayn Rand: Notice What Good Shape The
Spine of this Book Is In
The Books Of Ayn Rand: Mint Condition To The Highest Bidder