| Kilby, Come Back! By Michael Slenske--GQ Magazine February 17, 2006 |
| "As an avid watcher of the Oscars, I can't help but be a little disappointed with the choice" of host. That's 2006 Oscar host Jon Stewart making a cute little joke. And it's probably the only thing he and I will ever agree on. At the risk of being ridiculed by friends, family, and everyone else I don't owe money to, I'm going to come out and say it: Jon Stewart sucks. Sure, it's nice to live in a world where a fake-news anchor could be tapped to headline the Academy Awards. But that honor is the last thing the increasingly smug "Daily Show" host needs. Behind the aw-shucks, arched-eyebrow persona lurks a level of self-satisfaction that gets less funny every day. It's enough to make you long for Craig Kilborn. Call me crazy, but I'd rather deal with his fake arrogance than Stewart's false modesty--it's certainly more fun. Take the way each handled the Olympics. After Brian Williams' lifeless opening commentary, Stewart did his best to muster a few tired riffs. Back in 1996, Kilby spiced up the ultraboring Atlanta games with segments like "Peripheral Olympians," which paid appreciation to the pole techniques of local strippers ("for Audrey, pushing her body beyond its limits is just part of her daily routine"). Really, isn't that what fake news is all about? And don't get me started about Stewart's scolding of Tucker Carlson on "Crossfire." We don't need sanctimonious comics to demand anyone "stop, stop, stop, stop hurting America"--we need them to give us "This Day in Hasselhoff History." And let's remember it was Craig, not Jon, who pioneered the wonderfully surreal "Daily Show" interview style (Kilby: "Of your 20,000 women, how many did you cuddle with afterward?" Wilt Chamberlain: "At one time?"). Granted, Kilby hasn't done much since playing a sleazy boyfriend in Old School, and I'm certainly not advocating him as Oscar host. Instead, how about we hand the Academy Awards to Stewart full time--he can take all the time he needs to practice those complex song-and-dance numbers--and then give "The Daily Show" desk back to its rightful owner. |