Title: X3 (Part 1& 2)

Author: Megan Harrell

Rating: PG-13

Summary: My version of X3...at the request of Deb. I’m introducing Beast, too, since he was kinda in X2...and possibly Gambit.

 

 

X3 (Part 1)

 

It had been almost a month since the Alkali Lake incident; the school was almost back to normal...with the exception that everyone–especially Logan and Scott–still missed Jean. It appeared that Jean’s death wasn’t affecting Logan; only the Professor and Storm knew the truth: that Logan was miserable and trying not to grieve in public because he felt he had no right to, since he thought Jean had made her choice; he was determined to respect it and keep the promise he had made to her to be the good guy.

Scott, on the other hand, was still pretty torn up and couldn’t even bring himself to pack up her things. When the professor contacted a new doctor–Henry “Hank” McCoy, who was also a mutant–Scott couldn’t deal with the fact that, in his mind, Jean was being replaced. It was only after several conversations with the professor that Scott welcomed Hank to the mansion and offered him a spot on the team.

Logan was outside walking around one night when Storm spotted him. She could tell he was having a harder time than usual and decided to see if she could help. “Logan, are you okay?”

Logan looked up and nodded. “Yeah; I’m fine.”

“Liar,” Storm said, shaking her head. “Logan, it’s okay for you to miss Jean; we all do.”

Logan looked down, shoving his hands in his pockets. “It’s not the same...I loved her; I still do,” he said quietly. When he looked up, Storm could swear she saw tears in his eyes, but he blinked them away to quickly for her to be able to tell for sure. “I never got to tell her.”

Storm offered a small smile. “Logan, I think she knew, and though I can’t say what she was feeling, I think a part of her was falling for you, too.”

“Storm, don’t say things to make me feel better; Jean made her choice, and I’m going to respect it, even though she’s not here to see it,” he said, looking down again. Storm sighed, seeing she wasn’t going to get through to him tonight. “Tonight reminds me of the last night...the night I kissed her,” Logan said after a few moments of silence. He looked up at the stars before continuing. “It was a clear night, and I wanted to see how she was doing. I promised her I could be the good guy, and then I kissed her. I knew I shouldn’t have, but I couldn’t help myself; if I’d have known it would be the last night I’d ever see her...” he paused blinking back tears, “I would have done more than make her a promise to be the good guy; I would have told her that I love her, that no matter what, I’ll always be there for her, and I’m willing to let her be happy, even if it’s with Scott.”

 

Storm lightly touched his arm. “You can’t change the past, Logan, and you shouldn’t dwell on it; look to the future and think about this: Jean would want you to move on; she wouldn’t want you to dwell on what you should have done. If she were here, she’d tell you to move on; I’m not telling you to forget about her, Logan. I’m just telling you not to dwell on your regrets, but to concentrate on the promise you made.”

Logan nodded. “You’re right; I made a promise, and I intend to keep it; it’s getting late, though, and you should probably get back inside.”

Storm took that as his hint that he needed to be alone before returning to his room. “You’ll be in shortly?”

Logan nodded. “Yeah; I just need a few more minutes.” Storm nodded and began to walk back to the mansion. Logan waited until he knew she was gone before turning his face back up to the stars. “Why, Jean? Why did you have to leave the jet? Why couldn’t you let Kurt get you?” he yelled, fighting tears. “You’re still with me, Jean; I can’t get you off my mind. I can still smell you; I can still taste you. When I sleep, I dream of you, only to wake up to realize that I’ve been alone all along,” he added quietly, looking back to the ground as a stray tear fell down his cheek. “I miss you, Red.” He took a few more minutes to compose himself before heading back to the mansion.

Once he walked through the backdoor, he spotted Scott. “The professor needs someone to head up north to investigate some mutant activity he’s been picking up with Cerebro; he said you might like to get away for awhile, so I figured I’d offer you the mission first. It’s yours if you want it,” Scott informed him.

Strangely enough, Logan and Scott had come to somewhat of a mutual understanding and developed a type of respect for each other since Jean’s death. Both understood what the other man was feeling, and could understand why. They were civil to each other now, and actually worked out together in the Danger Room on occasion.

“When do I leave?” Logan asked, eager to get away and have a chance to try and move past Jean’s death without an audience.

“As soon as you can. Here’s the information from the professor,” Scott said handing him an envelope with the destination. He tossed Logan the keys to his motorcycle and left the room.

Logan headed up to his room and grabbed his duffle bag, stuffing some clean clothes in it before heading down to the garage and hopping on Scott’s bike. He started it up and drove off, heading north.

A week earlier at Alkali Lake, a powerful source of energy buried under the water suddenly burst forth, flying out of the water. Jean had resurrected herself, with her new powers she had discovered during the mission at Alkali Lake. She found land and collapsed in the forest, exhausted from the use of her powers. A couple found her and took her back to their home, wondering who this woman was.

Logan had been travelling for a few days before he arrived at the address the professor had given to them. He stopped outside the house, wondering how he would explain things. He figured he’d just wing it and make something up if he had to. He slowly walked up to the door and knocked.

A woman answered the door. “May I help you?” she asked, seeing Logan. “Oh, are you here about the woman we found near this lake in Canada?”

Logan didn’t know anything about that, but this was the house the professor had sent him to, and he was curious, so he decided to go with it. “Uh, yeah.”

The woman smiled. “Well come on in; I’ll take you up to her room. She’s been unconscious since we brought her back, but we had a doctor examine her, and he said she was fine; her body just needs some time to recover,” the woman said, leading Logan up to the room. “Oh, by the way, I’m Michaela,” she added, opening the door to the room.

When she opened the curtains, letting light into the room, Logan couldn’t believe his eyes. In the bed was Jean; she was a little pale, but Logan’s observant eyes could see the rise and fall of her chest, telling him she was alive. “Oh my God,” he said, barely above a whisper. “Jean...”

“I take it you know her?” Michaela asked.

Logan nodded. “We...I thought she was dead,” he explained simply, not wanting to say he’d actually seen her die, just in case the woman realized they were mutants and freaked out.

“Well, as you can see, she’s alive. Like I said, she’s been unconscious since we got her here, but the doctor says she’ll be fine.”

Just then, Jean began to stir in the bed. He eyes slowly fluttered open, and she looked around, confused by her surroundings. She sat up, and immediately grabbed her head as a migraine set in.

“Jean!” Logan said, rushing to her side.

“Logan? Where am I?” she asked, still a little disoriented.

“Why don’t I leave you two alone? I’ll be downstairs if you need anything,” Michaela excused herself from the room.

 

“Jean...” he said, not believing she was actually alive. He hugged her tightly, unwilling to let her go. “I thought you were dead...we saw you...we saw the water rush over you,” he said, pulling away with tears in his eyes.

“I can’t really explain it; I think I died...but somehow, I’m alive. I don’t know how it happened. Somehow I lived through it...somehow I feel more powerful; like I have gotten some new mutation...I can’t explain it...”

“Shh...it’s okay; you don’t have to explain it; all that matters is that you’re alive and sitting here in this room with me. I thought I’d never see you again...” he said quietly. “I’ve gone through hell these past few weeks; we all have.”

Jean took his hand. She didn’t really want to ask Logan this, but she had to know. “Logan, how’s Scott?”

“Scott has had a hard time; I don’t think he ever believed you were gone...he refused to pack up your stuff, and when the professor brought Dr. McCoy in, he didn’t handle it well. He thought the professor was trying to replace you. I don’t know if it was the professor or me telling him that no one could ever replace you, and the professor wasn’t trying to, but he finally came around and offered Hank a spot on the team. I think you’ll like him...Hank, I mean.”

Jean smiled. “I’ve heard of him, but I wasn’t aware that he was a mutant,” she said.

“Jean...” he was silenced when Jean placed a finger to his lips.

“Michaela’s coming up the stairs,” she whispered.

Seconds later, Michaela walked in the room, carrying a tray of lunch for Jean and Logan. “I don’t know if you’ve eaten, Sir, but I know the lady hasn’t, so I figured I’d bring you guys some lunch.”

“Thanks...it’s just Logan, though,” he said. “And this is Jean.”

“Well, it’s nice to put names with faces,” she smiled before leaving the room again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

X3 (Part 2)

 

 

Michaela reappeared a few moments later. “I forgot to ask...should I prepare the other guest room for you, Logan?”

Logan looked at Jean. Don’t fight me on this, Red; I’ll explain once she leaves, he sent her. “Uh, no; I’ll just stay in here with Jean,” he answered Michaela.

Michaela smiled. “Okay, then; I’m heading out to meet my husband for lunch. Help yourself to anything you need,” she said before leaving the room once more.

Once she was gone, Logan turned to Jean. “I can explain...this really sounds stupid,” he said, almost laughing. “Um...well...after you...disappeared...I had so many dreams about saving you and...other things...I guess I just wanted to make sure this wasn’t a dream when I wake up tomorrow morning.”

Jean smiled and took his hand. “Logan...”

“Let me finish,” he said, gently placing a finger over her lips. “Jean, I went through hell thinking you were dead...I could still smell you; I could still feel your lips on mine; I could still taste your kiss. When I could sleep, you were always in my dreams. It was like you were with me, but then I’d wake up and realize I was alone, and had been all along. I swore if I had one more day with you that I’d tell you...I’d tell you what I didn’t say before.” He wiped away a stray tear off Jean’s cheeks and fought back his own before continuing. “I know you made your choice, Jean, and I respect that...but I need to tell you...I need you to know that,” he hesitated a moment, “I love you.”

Jean nodded and wiped the tears of Logan’s cheeks. “I know, Logan,” she said before kissing his cheek lightly. She pulled him close and held him tightly as the tears fell down both their cheeks. “I’m sorry.”

Logan held her as though he’d never let her go again. “What? Don’t apologize, Darlin’. You saved us all...I just wish I could have saved you.”

Jean smiled. (That’s my Logan, always trying to protect me,) she thought. (Woah, my Logan? Where did that come from?) she asked herself. “I wouldn’t want you to sacrifice yourself for me,” she finally said.

“And I wanted you to sacrifice yourself for me? Do you really think Scott wanted you to sacrifice yourself for him?” Logan asked, almost angrily. “I’m sorry; I’m not mad at you...I just...I’ve been dealing with a lot of emotions I’m not used to dealing with; I didn’t mean to take it out on you.”

Jean nodded. “I know.” Both were quiet for a few moments before Jean continued. “So what have I missed?” she asked, changing the subject.

 

Logan sniffed, composing himself. “Not much. The school is basically back to normal, and I already told you about Hank. I think Storm and Kurt have a little something going on, but I haven’t exactly been observant the past month. The professor suggested I begin teaching self-defense and gym, so I started that a couple of weeks ago...but basically, that’s it. Hank took over most of your duties, but I’m sure you two can split them up when you get back. We can leave tomorrow if you feel up to it, but don’t push yourself. I can wait as long as you need me to.”

 

Jean nodded. “I think I’ll be okay if we leave tomorrow morning. I should be fine tomorrow; I just have a migraine, but it should go away soon.”

 

Logan moved their empty lunch tray and sat on the bed beside her. “I know this is out of line, and I don’t want you to think I’m trying anything; I’ll sleep on the floor if you want, but...can I sleep beside you and just hold you? I just need to feel you beside me,” he requested, almost shyly.

 

(How can I say no to him?) she asked herself. She simply nodded and moved over, making room for him as he removed his shirt and stretched out beside her. She curled up in his arms and rested her head on his chest. She ran her fingers lightly over his chest, and he caught it gently. She smiled when she realized what her touch was doing to him. “Sorry,” she apologized, lacing her fingers with his as she tried to suppress the giggles that threatened to come out.

 

Logan smirked, sensing her desire growing at the realization of what she could do to him. “No you’re not.”

 

Jean looked up at him, smiling innocently as she moved closer to him, crossing her leg over his. Her smile grew as she saw his reaction; she continued, sliding her foot up and down his leg slowly.

 

He felt his desire for her growing, and despite his efforts, his body began to reflect that desire as he felt his pants beginning to grow snug. “Jean...” he warned, knowing that she knew the effect she was having on him, however, he didn’t know if she was just trying to get a rise out of him, if she was planning on seducing him, or if it was just innocent flirtation.

 

“Yes, Logan?” she asked seductively, her voice thick with desire.

 

His breath caught in his throat, and he swallowed hard. “Uh...” he wasn’t sure what to say. “Is this really a good idea?” he finally managed to get out.

 

She smiled, walking her fingers up his chest. “Is what a good idea?” she asked, noticeably moving her gaze down to his lips.

 

(Oh, God, she really needs to stop,) he thought to himself, wondering if she was reading his thoughts. When she smiled devilishly, he had his answer. “Jean...are you sure this is what you want?”

 

Jean moved until she was almost on top of him, kissing him as her answer. She pulled away a moment later, smiling at him. She slowly leaned down and kissed him again, this time more passionately. She moaned softly as he deepened the kiss and pulled her closer. “Logan...” she breathed as he trailed kisses down her jaw to her neck, letting his hands play with her hair before sliding down her back.

Her skin was the softest thing he could remember touching; he smiled as he shifted his position so that she was under him, letting his hands slowly trail down her sides to her hips. He slowly pulled away, seeing the passion and desire in her eyes. “Jean, we can’t do this,” he said, catching his breath.

“What?” she asked, clearly confused.

Logan sighed, moving off her and back to his spot beside her, propping himself up on one arm to look at her. “It’s not that I don’t want to, because I do...but, Jean, I don’t want you like this,” he began. Seeing her confused look he continued. “When and if anything ever happens between us, I don’t want it to be out of impulse in someone else’s bedroom. When I make love to you, I don’t want to have to worry about someone walking in on us or about you regretting everything afterwards,” he explained softly, reaching over to brush a strand of hair out of her face. “What about Scott? No matter how much I dislike him, I know you still love him, and I know you have a strong sense of loyalty and obligation to him; you’d feel guilty if I hadn’t stopped. No matter how much I want you, I love you more, and I don’t want to be the reason for your pain; I want you to be happy...”

Jean smiled as her eyes grew teary. “Logan, I’m sorry I put you in this position. I just...I don’t know. I feel different when I’m around you; the way I feel about you...it’s not the way I feel about Scott; sometimes I actually forget about him when I’m with you. What scares me is that I don’t feel guilty about kissing you or wanting to be with you; I actually feel guilty because I don’t feel guilty...does that even make sense?” she laughed a little, trying to ease to tension. She averted her eyes from his chest, trying to quite the voice within her that screamed for his touch.

Logan nodded. “Jean, I promised you I could be the good guy; I’ll wait for you, as long as it takes. I’ll never stop loving you. I want you to know that I’m not in this for a one night stand; I want the whole deal with you, Jeannie, and in order to get that...well, let’s just say that I want you to be sure I’m who you really want.”

“Oh, Logan...” she replied softly. She knew it was dangerous, but she kissed him softly again. “Thank you.” She rested her head against his chest and soon drifted to sleep.

 

When Jean woke up a few hours later, Logan was still holding her tightly, even though he was asleep. She remembered Logan had said he hadn’t slept much since Alkali Lake, so she quietly loosened his grasp on her so that she could easily slip out and go to the bathroom. She was washing her face when she heard Logan yelling.

“Jean?! Jean?” he called worriedly. “Jean, where are you?”

She heard the panic in his voice and realized he must have had a nightmare. She immediately rushed back into the bedroom and tried to calm him down. “Shh, Logan, it’s okay. I’m right here,” she said soothingly, “I’m right here.” She pulled him to her and rubbed his back, feeling the tension leave his body at her touch. She pulled away and saw tears on his cheeks; she lifted her hand and gently wiped them away.

He pulled her back against his chest, holding her tightly, much like he had earlier in his sleep. “I dreamed you were dying again,” he said quietly after a few minutes had passed. “I woke up and you weren’t here...I was afraid this was all a dream...I can’t...”

Jean pulled away slightly, letting his fingers play over his cheeks and lips. “I know; and it’s okay. I’m right here,” she added, tasting the few remaining salty tears as she kissed his cheeks. “I’m right here,” she repeated. She was amazed at how scared he really was to lose her. It was then that she finally admitted to herself what her heart had been screaming all along: she had fallen–and was still falling–for Logan...hard. When she looked in his eyes, it broke her heart to see the pain and worry in them. “Logan, I love you, and I’m not going anywhere; I promise,” she whispered, kissing him softly.

When they broke apart seconds later, he pulled her back into his tight embrace. “I’m so scared I’m going to lose you again,” he said softly into her hair. He had never been this open with anyone in his entire life, but with Jean it was different; he knew she wouldn’t judge him, and she could always take away his pain; she was the only person he’d ever known who could make him feel better with a simple touch or word.

She smiled at his thoughts. “I promise you won’t lose me,” she replied softly, rubbing his back as she gently kissed him again.

“I’m sorry I freaked out,” he said once he’d regained his composure, or as much of it as he could holding her like he was. She was in his lap, her head resting in the crook of his neck; he could feel her breath against his skin. One hand rubbed his back, while her other hand rested on his chest.

“It’s okay; I understand. I probably should have waited for you to wake up before I left,” she told him, her lips moving against the skin of his neck. When she looked up at him, the look on his face told her what she already knew: he needed her. She kissed him softly.

When he pulled away, he saw what she wanted, what she needed. He lifted her off his lap and laid her on the bed. Looking into her eyes, he had to ask, “What about Scott?”
Jean shook her head. “Scott doesn’t matter right now,” she told him. She realized how that sounded and softly added, “I know you said you don’t want me on impulse; this isn’t impulse, and it won’t be a one night stand. I’m not going to regret this later. You need me tonight as much as I need you...I know you’re the man I want.”

 

Warning...this is a little graphic...but not bad.

“Are you sure?” he asked her.

She nodded. “Tonight, Logan, it’s only you and me,” she answered.

Logan knew she was telling the truth; he could smell the desire in the air. He kissed her, sliding her shirt up slowly as he trailed kisses down her neck. He threw it on the floor as he began kissing down to her shoulders.

She mentally removed his jeans as her fingers ran over the muscles in his arms and chest. She nearly lost it when he stopped kissing her and gave her a surprised look. “I told you I could move all kinds of things...” she told him mischievously.

He simply raised his eyebrows and smiled before adding her pants to the clothes on the floor. He slowly ran his fingers down her sides, giving her goose bumps. “You’re so beautiful, do you know that?” he whispered, adding the rest of their clothes to the pile.

She smiled and blushed slightly, enjoying the feel of his hands on her skin; they were a little rough, but still felt amazing on her smooth skin. She settled back on the pillows, gently pulling him down to her and kissing him teasingly as she ran her fingers over his arms and chest, memorizing every muscle. She smiled at him before kissing him again, more passionately this time.

He immediately responded, slowly sliding his hands to her hips. He smiled against her lips when she shuddered as he began making small circles on her skin. He kissed down her body, and she moaned softly with pleasure. He forced himself to slow down, wanting to cherish and memorize every moment of his first–and possibly only–time with Jean.

The foreplay continued until so much sexual tension and desire had been built up between them that both needed to find release. He began a slow rhythm, gradually speeding up at her urging. They met each other beat for beat, finally finishing together. Neither said a word, not wanting to break the moment, and in truth, they didn’t need to say anything; all their emotions, their feelings had been expressed; both knew what the other was feeling and thinking...without the use of Jean’s power.

Jean knew they would have to address what would happen when they returned to the school. She finally gave in and sighed. “Logan...”

“Hmm?” he replied quietly, pulling her closer and running his hands up and down her back. He knew what she was about to say.

“When we get back, you know I need to deal with Scott, right?” she asked softly.

“Yeah...look, if you just want to forget about this...” he started.

Jean pushed herself up, looking at him as she placed a finger over his lips. “I’m not saying I want to forget about this...about us...I told you this means more to me than a one night stand; all I meant is that I’m going to need some time to explain things to Scott...”

Logan nodded, gently taking her hand and kissing it. “I’ll follow your lead; Scott has a right to hear it from you. Take as much time as you need.”

“Thank you,” she replied, laying her head back on his shoulder as she began to play with the hair on his chest.