“I don’t know,” said Android No. 18.

“This place looks all too strange to me,” said Android No. 16.

The three of them suddenly found themselves in the middle of a giant intersection in a dirt road, surrounded by an ocean of grass. They could choose between four different paths, and they could hear someone coming from three of them.

“You guys hear that?” asked No. 18.

“It sounds like a bunch of children and animals,” said No. 17.  “CHILDREN AND ANIMALS?  EVERYBODY LOCK ON AND FIRE ALL WEAPONS!”

The three Androids powered up their strongest energy blasts, and fired rapidly at each of the three paths from which they heard “children and animals.”

“Hold on,” said No. 18.  “Can you still hear them?”

“I’M ASH, FROM PALLET TOWN, AND I’M TRAINING TO BECOME THE WORLD’S GREATEST POKÉMON MASTER!”

“MY NAME IS GENKI, AND I’M GOING TO FIND THE PHOENIX AND DEFEAT MUU!”

“YO, YO, YO!  IT’S THE DIGIDESTINED UP IN THIS HIZOUSE!  WE’RE BOWDY-BOWDY AND ROWDY-ROWDY!”

“OH GOD, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” cried No. 17.

“This can’t be!” cried No. 18.

“Everyone get ready!  This is an animé crossover, so we’ll probably have to fight their enemies for them,” said No. 16.  “So get ready to RUN LIKE YOU’VE NEVER RUN BEFORE!”

“It’s too late,” cried No. 17.

“They already see us, and like a good Monster Animé, the title card is appearing late, condemning us to our infinite doom!”

*This fic was specially written for the owner of "Underware, Vegtables, and Japanese Dishes"!

“Hey Misty, Pikachu, Togepi, Tracey, LOOK!” said Ash.

“Hey Holly, Suezo, Mocchi, Hare, Tiger, Golem, LOOK!” said Genki.

“Yo Kari, Agumon, Izzy, Tentomon, Matt, Gabumon, T.K., Patamon… (takes deep breath) Joe, Gomamon, Sora, Biyomon, Mimi, what’s-her-name, uh…Palmon, LOOK!” said Tai.

“IT’S THREE (insert name of animé here) TRAINERS!” said all 27 monster animé characters.

“My ears…” groaned No. 18.

“What’s going on here?” asked Android No. 17. “What’s with all these children and ‘Mon?”

“We’ve got to get the writer down here!” said No. 16.

Who me?

“Yes you,” said Android No. 18.  “Get down here and chase all these poorly-drawn abominations away!”

Okay!  Here I come!  CATCH ME!  CATCH ME!

“Uh…no,” said No. 17.

CRASH!

A scrawny teenager in blue jeans and a South Park T-shirt landed face down in the dirt.

“Hey, why didn’t you catch me?”

“You didn’t deserve it,” said No. 18.

“Didn’t deserve it?  How dare you!  I am the writer!  I control your lives!” cried the kid.

“What’s your name?” asked No. 16.

“Look up!” said the boy.  The Androids complied.

“What does the ‘L’ stand for?” asked No. 18.

The boy was silent for a moment.  “Huh?”

“I said ‘What does the L stand for?’” said No. 18.

The boy was silent some more.  “What L?”

“TELL ME WHAT YOUR NAME IS RIGHT NOW, OR I’LL POUND YOU INTO THE GROUND!” yelled No. 18.

“Okay, okay!  Keep your shirt off, I’ll tell you!” said the writer.

“I hate my first name.  Why did it have to be a girl’s name?”

“A girl’s name?” laughed No. 16.  “Now you have to spit it out!”

“My name is…” he decided to just blurt it out.  “LINDSAY!”

“WHO DARES SUMMONETH ME?”

“What was that?” asked the writer.

Suddenly, another god-like figure fell down to the ground.

“CATCH ME!  CATCH ME!” she cried.

“We’ve got to catch her!  It’s the Great Lindsay the Web Hostess: Demolisher of Worlds!” cried No. 17.

“You might say that you’ve got to CATCH ‘EM ALL!” said Ash Ketchum.
(Hey!  Ketchum – Catch ‘em!  I just noticed that!)

“Oh sure, you’ll catch her, but what about ME?”

CRASH!

“You’re on my jugular,” the writer managed to choke out.

“Oh, sorry,” she said, as she stood up.  “Thank you for breaking my fall!”

“Thank you for wearing a skirt!  OWW!”

“How darest thou speaketh to our Lady and Mistress?” asked No. 18, as she layeth the smacketh down on our hero’s face. The writer managed to roll out of the way to his feet.

“What exactly are you doing here?” asked the writer.

“I’m here to get these Monsters out of here!  Go on!  Shoo!”

“Just a second,” said the writer.  “I’m the (checks his nametag) uh…writer here!  And I’ll decide whether these people will leave!”

“So you’re a Lindsay, too, huh?”  said the evil web hostess.

“WELL, THERE’S ONLY ONE CAPTAIN OF THE GINYU FORCES AND THAT’S ME!”

“What are you talking about?” asked the writer, who shall henceforth be known as Lindsay No. 1.

“How come you get to be Lindsay No. 1?” asked Lindsay No. 2.

“Because I’m the writer,” I said.

“Oh yeah?  Well, I’m the web hostess, and if you want your story on my site, you’ll play by my rules,” said Lindsay No. 2.

“Darn you and your web hosting powers!” said the new Lindsay No. 2.

“Wait a minute!  You act all high and mighty like you matter! But we all know that you have one of the most unsuccessful web sites on the planet!  I don’t even know why I bother sending you this crap!  Nobody will see it!  I mean, how many hits have you had total, seven?”

The new Lindsay No. 1 began to cry.

“Oh, darn it.  I just can’t stand to see girls cry!  All right!  You can be Lindsay No. 1!”

“YAY!” shouted Lindsay No. 1.  Lindsay No. 2 (who will always be known as Lindsay No. 1 Classic to his faithful fan(s).  You know who you are.  You’re the one in the back, applauding real quiet with your hands under the table like nobody can see you) decided he’d better just let it go for now.  He still had much control…didn’t he?

“Okay, I’ve wasted enough time with you jabronies,” said Lindsay No. 2.  “As writer, I am going to return to my place as your god!" His eminence pointed towards the sky and yelled “UP!  UP!  GO UP!  FLY AWAY NOW!  Aww…”

“Aww, whatsa matter?  Little writer can’t play god?” asked Lindsay No. 1.

“Hell is a place that you might want to start thinking about considering taking a short vacation towards,” Lindsay No. 2 suggested, choosing his words carefully (Please don’t hurt me!).  “All right team!  As your writer, it has come upon me to make myself your leader!  So those of you Digidestined in the back can stop throwing your Digivices at me!

“We’re going to have to work as a team and explore the path in this crossroads that has not yet been explored.  Along the way, I might even come up with a plot!  Now let’s go!”

Lindsay No. 2 led the 30+ of them through the dirt road, searching for something to give them some sort of story line.  Lindsay No. 2 strutted at the front, trying to sing “Blue Velvet” from Dragonball GT, but unfortunately, he knew no Japanese, and so made a butchered mockery of the language.

Behind him, Ash, Genki, and Tai paraded close by.  “Stop that! Only I may swagger,” said Lindsay No. 2.  The animé characters behind began to talk amongst themselves.

“I must take thorough pictorial notes,” said Tracey, the Pokémon Watcher, as he drew in his little pad.

“Why are you spending so much time drawing No. 18?” asked Misty.

“Er, uh…I’ve got to pay good attention to detail!” said Tracey.

“That’s not all you’re paying good attention to,” pried Misty. Tracey forced a hearty chuckle.

“So, Tai, which one of the other Digidestined do you have the hots for?” asked No. 17.

“Say what?” asked Tai.

“Should it be the sultry Sora?” asked No. 17.

“We’re just friends,” assured Tai.

“Maybe the magnificent Mimi?” asked 17.

“Knock it off,” said Tai.

“What about Kari?” asked 17.

“Hey man, Kari’s my sister!  You better recognize!” said Tai.

“Sister?  Don’t let that stop you pal,” said 17, eyeing 18.

“What kind of Monster are you?” asked Golem.

“I am not a Monster, I am the Sixteenth Android to be created by the evil Dr. Gero,” replied No. 16.

“Is Dr. Gero one of Muu’s Big Bad Four?” asked Suezo.

“No, he isn’t,” said No. 16.

“What kind of attacks do you have?” asked Hare.

“I can fire a large red laser beam from my hands,” said No. 16. “I call it the Hell’s Flash.”

“HE SAID THE ‘H’ WORD!” cried Holly.

All of the children and their monsters gasped in horror.  Android No. 16 was surprised by their immature behavior.

“FUNimation will pay dearly for this.”

“It isn’t all FUNimation’s fault,” said Genki.

“I don’t care!  Fukunaga must die!” said No. 16.

“NOW HE SAID THE ‘D’ WORD!” cried Biyomon.

“Oh brother,” said No. 16.

“So, all of your Digimon have ‘Mon’ at the ends of their names?” asked Android No. 18.

“That’s right,” said Izzy.  “Every single one.”

“And how many times do they evolve?” asked Ash.

“About six or seven,” said Matt.

“But you said your Digimon have evolved many times,” said Misty.

“Why are they still so small?”

“They change back after they run out of energy,” said Joe.

“Wow,” they said.
 

“What’s that?” asked Tiger of the Wind.

“This?  This is a Pokéball,” said Ash. “Captive Pokémon are kept in these.”

“You imprison your Pokémon in those things?” growled Tiger.

“No we don’t,” protested Tracey.  “Pokémon like it in there!  It’s nice and soft and padded.”

“Padded?  So you treat them like maniacs?  What are they just dumb animals to you?” asked Tiger.

“Hey!  Pokémon aren’t dumb,” said Misty.  “