Title: A Brush With Disaster
Author: Jen Lmr
Date: Nov 2000
Fandom: Battlestar Galactica
Rating: PG-13
Category: Slash
Pairing: Apollo/Starbuck
I had this little snippet trying to claw its way out of my twisted little
head and I also thought that I should respond to my own challenge so here
we are. For the record, this did NOT happen to me!
Summary: A spelling challenge snippet.
Spelling words: Wheat. Seat. Peach. Sour. Much. Sweet. Salty. When.
Where. Shift.
Apollo was shaken awake by his very distressed life partner.
"Apollo. Apollo. Come on, I need your help!"
"What?" Rubbing his eyes sleepily.
"Well, just look at me!"
Apollo's eyes focused on a spot slightly below Starbuck's abdomen.
Starbuck lifted his lover's chin upwards so that he was actually looking
at his face. "Now look at my head, specifically this!" he stormed,
pointing at his hair and giving him a sour look.
Apollo looked, blinked, looked again, rubbed his eyes, took another long
silent look at the man he'd chosen to spend the rest of his life with, yet
another look at where he was pointing, then burst out laughing!
"This is NOT funny! Now when you're quite finished, could you please help
me?"
Apollo sat up, still shaking with laughter at the ridiculous picture
Starbuck made, standing there angrily, hands on his hips, and a hairbrush
that definitely looked to be *stuck* in the side of his hair, jiggling
back and forth as Starbuck's head moved during his angry little outburst.
"I'm sorry. I'm not laughing at (snicker)...at you, (another snicker)
...I'm laughing *with* you." This was followed by another round of
helpless laughter and Starbuck giving him a glare that could peel paint,
before he added, "Why do you have that brush stuck in your hair?"
"It's a fashion statement. It's *stuck* you idiot! As in, because it won't
come out! Now stop cackling and HELP ME GET IT *UNSTUCK*!"
Trying not to laugh, "Okay, okay. Let me see what I can do." He fiddled
with the love of his life's hair a few moments then asked, "Can you at
least help me understand how it got stuck?"
"I was brushing my hair obviously," Starbuck snapped.
Making a valiant effort not to laugh, Apollo told him, "Alright. Just have
a seat and I'll see what else I can do."
"Thank you. Your support in my time of need is underwhelming."
"No problem," Apollo responded, making a noise that sounded suspiciously
like a snort.
"You had better not still be laughing at me." Starbuck warned the man who
had once promised to be there for him through better or worse.
Apollo was feeling grateful that the man he regularly spends his evenings
pounding into the mattress and generating enough heat to warm the entire
Galactica, couldn't see the look on his face as he diligently tried
getting the hair untangled from the brush. Keeping his tone casual, "So,
what's that scent on your hair? I don't think I've ever smelled it
before."
"It's this wheat germ shampoo that Cassie gave me a while back. I thought
it couldn't hurt to try it. Do you like it?"
"No, not really."
"Well thank you very much!" Starbuck said irritably, beginning to shift
uncomfortably on the bed from all the tugging his abused hair was
receiving. "Are you almost done there?"
"I hate to tell you this, but this just isn't coming out. Maybe if you
explained exactly the way you were brushing your hair at the time, I could
reverse the process and it would come out." Apollo almost successfully
smothered the laugh that followed.
"Stop laughing! I don't know! I was just brushing my hair like usual."
"Well, if it was like usual, how come you've never gotten a brush stuck in
your hair before?" The light of his life snickered.
Starbuck looked up and gave him a glare that made any other glare he'd
ever given him pale in comparison.
"I'm sorry. I've just never come across this particular situation before."
"You're a real peach, Pol." Starbuck ground out sarcastically, "You do
know that I have to be at work in less than a centar. I can *not* show up
with a brush stuck in my hair!"
This brought on a fresh round of laughter, "I'm sorry, I'm not laughing at
you..."
"You're laughing with me," Starbuck finished. "That's a very sweet
sentiment, but last time I checked, *I* was not laughing."
"Well, Starbuck, this thing is *really* stuck. I just can't get it out. I
think we're going to have to cut it out."
"CUT IT OUT! No way! You are not cutting my hair!"
"Calm down, the hair cutters shop opens in a couple of centars, we'll take
you there. You'll look great in short hair."
"No, I won't! And do I need to remind you that I have to be a work in less
than a centar?"
"I know, but under the circumstances, I'll call the duty office and tell
them you're running late. Don't worry, it'll be fine. I'll even go with
you to the hair cutters shop."
"Well... okay."
Apollo left the room and commed the duty office from the living area,
fortunately it was Boomer who answered. "Starbuck is going to be a couple
of centars late because... (a muffled snicker)... well, you just don't want
to know."
"No problem. Is he sick?"
"Something like that. He'll be in later."
Boomer ended the comm, thinking to himself, 'Apollo must be really going
soft if he's letting Starbuck stay home so that he can indulge in a little
morning *recreation*.'
Apollo went back to the bedroom. The idea of indulging in a little morning
recreation occurred to him briefly, but Starbuck just looked so silly with
that brush stuck in his hair. Instead he suggested they both get a little more
sleep until the hair cutters shop opened for the day.
*****
They were the first ones there when the shop opened. The hair cutter took
one look at Starbuck and said, "Ah, this happens more than you can
imagine. I know just what to do." Then led Starbuck into the back.
Starbuck completely missed the incredulous look on Apollo's face.
Once the hair cutter had Starbuck seated, he proceeded to cover the
tangled area with a salty smelling grease-like substance. "We're going to
have to let this sit for awhile, then check it to see if it worked. Don't
worry, if it doesn't come out, we'll just keep doing it until it does."
*****
A centar later, a very relieved Starbuck and a still snickering Apollo
left the hair cutters shop, minus the brush.
"I guess you had a brush with disaster. Be careful at work today, I don't
want you to have a brush with death." Appy teased.
Starbuck was still feeling a little disgruntled with the man who promised
to love him in sickness and in health, but decided not to push it. It was
a little funny now that he thought about it, and didn't have a brush stuck
in his hair.
"You know, we could take a little detour back to our quarters before you
head off to work," Apollo said with a wicked grin. "After all, you've had a
very traumatic morning and could use a little treat."
"Why, Pol. I do believe you're going soft on me." Starbuck good naturedly
chided him.
"Oh, I'll give you soft babe," Apollo teased back as they headed off to
their quarters.
The End