The Gerbil By Betty (Even though I don`t want to admit it.) Rating: NC-17 (Slash, I guess.) Pairing: You wouldn`t believe me, I don`t believe me. Disclaimer: Uri and Reese aren't mine, neither is the gerbil. Distribution: Please let me know where. Feedback: er.br@sympatico.ca Summary: Some fun with a gerbil goes horribly wrong. Reese was on his hands and knees, panting. "Oh please Master Uri do it, do it now" "If your sure Reesey boy." "Oh, yes. I want you to do it so bad." Uri quickly thrusts the toilet paper tube into Reese`s stretched opening, then reached into the cage and pulled out Adama, his pet gerbil, named in honour of the fleets commander. "Here he comes Reese, you're about to get Adama up your ass," Uri said as he placed the gerbil into the toilet paper roll and it disappeared inside Reese. "Oh, yes. I can feel him in there, oh, his little feet feel so good, oh, yes." Reese went on like this for another five centons then he had enough and shouted out the code phrase that let Uri know it was time to remove the rodent. "Warriors suck." "Ok, come on, Adama. Time to come out," Uri called to the pet. The animal did not come out. Uri felt inside the tube for the gerbil`s tail, but it was not there. Sighing in frustration Uri reached for a book of matches and light one, thinking it would help him peer inside Reese, and also thinking that the gerbil would be attracted to the light. Suddenly there was a 'WHOOSH' sound and fire shot out of Reese`s ass. The gerbil came flying out and hit Uri in the face so hard he was knocked off the bed. The gerbil ran around the room making a screeching noise, it`s fur burning. Uri`s nose was bleeding, and Reese was screaming. "Oh god! It hurts! It hurts! It hurts! Oh, my ass is burning!" Uri quickly commed the Life Center and had a med. team up to his quarters in a matter of centons. The next day Commander Adama was doubled over, laughing. Doctor Salik was laughing so hard his face was wet with tears as he told the commander what happened. "It seems the match ignited a pocket of intestinal gas and a flame shot out the toilet paper roll, burning Uri`s face. It also set fire to the gerbil`s fur and whiskers which ignited another pocket of gas in Reese`s intestine propelling the gerbil out of Reese like a rocket. Uri suffered second degree burns and a broken nose when the gerbil hit his face, and Reese suffered first and second degree burns to his anus and intestinal tract." In other parts of the ship the same tale was being told, over and over again with warriors and civilians rolling on the floor and laughing. Sire Uri refused to comment on the incident. The End