Heart's Grown Cold By Jen Lmr Rating: NC-17 Category: Slash Pairing: Starbuck/Apollo Summary: A sonfic challenge. Starbuck's partying gets out of hand. Heart's Grown Cold By Nazareth Go out and have your habit, keep on taking it, keep on faking it You're the one who's heart's grown cold, you're the one who's heart's grown cold Go out and have your habit, you're the one thats taking it, you're the one thats faking it You're the one who's heart's grown cold, you're the one who's heart's grown cold I touch your lips with my fingertips, I hang on every breath you take You don't need me like I need you, you have your heartaches to fight Everyday I just hope and pray, I just hope that you still ha-ve... that you still have your dreams Come down and tell me that its better, you're the one who's choosing it, you're the one who's losing it, you're the one who's got no soul You're the one who's heart's grown cold Ooooh, baby don't you know that your heart's grown cold Baby don't you know that your heart's grown cold Ooooh, heart, heart, heart Ooooh, baby don't you know that your heart's grown cold Baby don't you know that your heart's grown cold ***** Starbuck quickly got dressed early in the morning and left the quarters that he had spent the night in quietly, not wanting to wake his sleeping lover. Well, lover for the night anyway. He didn't know why he did these things. By the end of his patrol he probably will have even forgotten the person's name. Worse yet, he'd probably find himself on the Rising Star again tonight. Drinking heavily, maybe indulging in a little something stronger than alcohol, playing pyramid, and eventually going home and spending the night, or at least a few centars of it, with some other forgettable person that momentarily caught his eye. He really needed to be more careful, this last one was insatiable, which was good, but he was also a little rougher than he really liked his partners to be. He didn't used to be this bad. Sure he'd always been pretty sexually active with a wide variety of partners, but lately he seemed to be getting worse. In fact, worse as far as all of his vices went. He'd been so out of sorts lately. Having trouble staying focused on one thing for very long, and not getting the same enjoyment out of things that he used to get. Maybe he was just getting old. Sagan, he hoped this wasn't the early onset of a mid- life crisis. Then again, maybe it was just a phase. Everybody gets depressed now and then. He certainly had enough things to be depressed about in his life; being an orphan, losing so many friends to the war, the destruction of the Colonies, no real certainly of the future, if he even had one, that is. ***** As he entered the landing bay and approached his ship he could still feel the stickiness from the lube between his lower cheeks and the dull ache in his posterior. He flushed guiltily upon meeting up with Apollo. He didn't know why. They were friends after all and didn't really keep many secrets from one another. He'd never told Apollo outright about his bisexuality, but he'd probably guessed somewhere along the line, they'd known each other for yahrens and yahrens. Not to mention the fact that they lived in such a closed environment and people do talk, well, gossip really. It wasn't so much as if he thought Apollo wouldn't be his friend anymore or that things might become awkward if he did come right out and tell him. Its just that Apollo was so straight-laced and he was so *not* straight-laced. He couldn't explain it exactly, he wasn't hiding anything, but just the same, some things were better left unsaid. Maybe it was just a 'guy thing'. But sometimes Apollo seemed to almost look down on him, or at the very least, some of the things he did. He really hated getting *that look* from Apollo. So he'd never bothered broaching the subject with him, it was a conversation that held no appeal whatsoever for Starbuck. So, still feeling that inexplicable guilt gnawing at him, Starbuck gave Apollo a quick friendly, "Hey, buddy," and headed immediately over to start his pre-flight checks. Apollo returned the greeting, then looked after him quizzically at the odd way Starbuck was walking. Shrugging, he finished his own pre-flight check and they both headed out on patrol. Once away from the Galactica Apollo asked over their private comm, "So, rough night last night?" "Not really," Starbuck said a little defensively. "Why do you ask?" "No reason, its just that you don't seem your usual cheerful self and it almost looked like you were walking with some kind of a limp or something..." "I don't have to be cheerful all the time, everybody has bad days, and I was *not* limping." "Fine. Whatever." Apollo let the subject drop for a few minutes, thinking. "You know Starbuck, we haven't seen that much of each other lately." "We've both been kind of busy." "I haven't been any busier than normal." "Whatever. Do you have a point?" Starbuck said in an irritable voice. "Bite my head off, will you? I was just going to ask if you wanted to go to the OC with me later tonight. You know, have a couple drinks, friendly conversation. Frankly, *friendly* conversation is sounding really good about now." Starbuck was silent a few moments before answering, "I didn't mean to sound so grouchy, I just didn't sleep well last night. The OC sounds good. How about after we get back from patrol?" "That sounds like a plan... oh, wait, I have to stop home and see Boxey and Athena first. How about I meet you there after?" "Okay by me." They continued on in silence for awhile, then started chatting back and forth casually as the boredom of the patrol started getting to them. "So what's been new with you, 'Pol?" "I hate it when you call me Pol." "I know." Starbuck answered with a smile in his voice. "Putz." "Gee, *Pol*, I hate it when you call me putz," Starbuck mocked in a singsong voice, feeling in a much better mood. "Oh shut up," Apollo laughed. "Nah. Now that I know I'm irritating you, I really don't have any real motivation to shut up." "I could pull rank," Apollo teased back. No answer. "Starbuck? You still there?" "Yeah, I'm still here." Starbuck felt his good mood inexplicably begin to fade. 'What is with these mood swings of mine lately?' "Well, anyway, you asked what was new with me lately," Apollo said making himself sound cheerful, sensing the abrupt change in Starbuck's mood. "Well the answer is not much. What have you been up to lately? Every time I try to comm you when you're off duty, you're always busy. Hot new love affair? Or rekindling an old one?" "No. No great romance," Starbuck said quickly. "I've just been hanging out with some of the guys, playing pyramid, that kind of thing." "Why didn't you comm me? I wouldn't mind coming along sometimes." "Well, it was kind of a single guy sort of thing. I thought it might be a little wild for your delicate sensibilities." "Starbuck, I *am* a single guy, and I'm hardly *delicate*. "I just didn't think it would be anything you'd like." "Well, hey, next time I wouldn't mind an invitation. We are best friends aren't we?" Apollo responded, sounding a little hurt. "Of course we are. Sorry I didn't think to comm you. Next time I will. I'll see you tonight though, right?" "I wouldn't miss it." They moved on to other topics and finished the remainder of their uneventful patrol. Upon returning to the landing bay, they finished all of the other routine duties that went along with finishing a patrol, said a cheerful goodbye and promised to meet up later. ***** Some time later Apollo entered the OC, looking around expectantly for Starbuck. He was puzzled when he couldn't find him. "Giles, have you seen Starbuck?" "Nope. He hasn't been in tonight. Maybe he's on the Rising Star. He's been spending a lot of time there lately." Apollo nodded his thanks and headed off to the comm to see if Starbuck was still in the barracks. No, not there. He decided to wait a few centons or so to see if he showed up, then head to the Rising Star himself to look for him there. Starbuck's recent behavior had him more and more miffed, and it certainly wasn't like him not to show up for a drink of all things. ***** Starbuck headed out of the landing bay after their patrol and headed down the corridor towards the barracks. At the turbolift he ran into another guy from blue squadron whom he knew and they stepped into the lift together. "Hey, Starbuck. Where you heading off to?" Ensign Jeffers asked brightly. "Back to the barracks for a turbowash. Then I'm heading to the OC to meet Apollo for a drink or two." "Hmm, that sounds real exciting and all but I have something a little more interesting planned. Care to join me?" "I promised I'd meet Apollo and all... What do you have planned for tonight?" Starbuck asked with growing interest. "Oh, a little white powder pick me up. In fact, I was going to make a quick trip back to the barracks myself. The turbowashroom to be precise," Jeffers grinned widely. Starbuck looked at him with considerably more interest. "I am feeling kind of run down. I wouldn't mind a little pick me up before I headed out for the evening." Jeffers grinned from ear to ear. "And I wouldn't mind picking you up." Starbuck turned his gaze fully on Jeffers, sizing him up, taking in his slim sinewy build, his light brown hair, his dark brown eyes. Sure he's not the best looking guy I've ever seen, but he's not bad. 'What the hey, he's a definite 'maybe' as a prospect for later. Not to mention that I could really use another pick me up right about now. Especially if I have to face 'Mr. Critical' in a little while.' He returned Jeffers grin. "We'll wait and see about the pick up, but I'm game for the pick me up." "Okay, we're on our way then." Jeffers gave him a megawatt smile. He had heard increasing talk around the barracks about Starbuck's ever growing reputation and was more than willing to share his personal stash of party supplies with the Lieutenant. Great Sagan! The man was hot enough to melt ice! ***** They returned to the barracks. There were only a few sleeping pilots around and Starbuck grabbed a towel on the way to the turbowash. Jeffers grabbed a few supplies of his own. Starbuck knew Apollo would probably be arriving at the OC before too much longer, so he figured he'd better start getting ready for his turbowash. Otherwise, if he arrived too much later after Apollo, he'd get another one of *those looks* from his best friend. Jeffers arrived in the turbowashroom just after Starbuck had removed his tunic, boots and socks. Starbuck stopped and looked at him expectantly. Jeffers had a smouldering look in his eyes. Starbuck looked at him and pointedly rubbed the side of his nose. The turbowash could wait. Jeffers flushed slightly and began preparing his pick me up. Diligently chopping up the rock into white powder, then separating it into four large separate lines. He then pulled a small piece of paper out of his pocket, rolled it in to a tight cylinder, and proceeded to sniff one of them up his right nostril. He grinned at Starbuck brightly. "I'm glad I caught you before you turned the water on. The steam tends to melt this stuff pretty quick." "Yeah. Duh." Starbuck said as he moved forward, took the paper cylinder out of Jeffers hand, and snorted one of the lines of powder up his own nose. "Are those other two for later or just the other nostril?" "The other nostril of course. I'm not an amateur. In anything," he replied with another lusty look. Starbuck gave him an unreadable look, shrugged, then snorted one of the remaining lines up his other nostril. He handed the paper cylinder back to Jeffers. Now feeling energetic and in a much, much better mood he proceeded to finish undressing and hop into the turbowash. Jeffers paused as he began to lean down for his second line. The sight of Starbuck stripping completely and then rubbing a washcloth all over his naked body completely distracting him. He shook himself, did his line, then proceeded to strip himself. ***** Starbuck was startled when Jeffers suddenly pushed up against him in the turbowash. He had been very involved in his own rapid thoughts and with washing himself to notice him enter. "I thought you were just going to make a quick stop here." "I was feeling a little dirty," he said as he caressed Starbuck's muscular chest. Starbuck shoved him away under the next faucet head. "Jeffers, I don't know what you've heard, I may be easy, but I'm not cheap." "I never thought you were, cheap that is." "What are you implying?" "Nothing. Hey, we're friends. You can't blame a guy for trying." Starbuck was feeling in an extremely good mood. "Nah. I suppose not. Just take your shower and lets get out of here." Jeffers grinned. They finished their turbowashes, went out into the main turbowashroom, Starbuck grabbed his towel and began drying himself. Jeffers just stood there, dripping onto the floor. Starbuck looked at him quizzically. "Are you just going to stand there shivering?" "I... uh... didn't bring a towel." Starbuck laughed. "You can use mine, but only after I'm done with it, you dink." Jeffers grinned as Starbuck hurriedly dried himself and tossed the towel to him. Starbuck strode back across the barracks naked, and Jeffers was not far behind. He dressed quickly and was combing his hair in front of a mirror when a fully dressed Jeffers came up behind him. "So, how about a trip over to the Rising Star? Drinks and party favors are on me." "I promised to meet Apollo at the OC. Couldn't we go there?" "The OC is a little too strict when it comes to sneaking a few party favors in the turbowashroom there. Besides, how much do you really think he'll miss you? Our esteemed Captain and Strike Commander has many, many friends that hang out in the OC. It's not like he'll be lonely, or even miss you for that matter." Starbuck thought about it a moment and realized Jeffers was right. He wouldn't admit to himself how much the thought of those 'party favors' were influencing him though. Placing Apollo completely out of his mind, a very wide awake and exuberant Jeffers and Starbuck headed off to the Rising Star. ***** Apollo arrived at the Rising Star about a centar after Starbuck and Jeffers did. He searched all of Starbuck's most frequented pyramid tables as well as his other favorite spots but didn't see any sign of him. 'What exactly is going on in his head lately?' Apollo worried. 'Well, since I'm here I might as well stay for a drink or two. Maybe he'll turn up.' ***** In one of the back lounges of the Rising Star, Starbuck and Jeffers were well on their way to oblivion. Jeffers leaned over close to Starbuck. "Hey, how about we slip out for another snort? The booze is starting to make me a little sleepy." Starbuck grinned blearily at him. "Sounds like a plan. Lead the way." They headed to the nearest turbowash, stumbling along the way, did a couple lines each, then headed back out into the club. "How 'bout we play some pyramid? I'm feeling a 'lil antsy and could use the daver... diversh, you know, somethin' to do," Starbuck suggested. "Sounds good to me. Pretty much everythin' sounds good to me right 'bout now," Jeffers giggled. They found themselves seats at a pyramid table and soon were fully immersed in the game. ***** Apollo was tired, bored and more than a little irritated. He decided to give up on hoping Starbuck would show up so he finished his drink and made his way to the exit. He planned on checking the barracks one more time on his way home and if he still couldn't find him he was really going to let him have it on patrol tomorrow. He was really going to let him have it anyway. How unbelievably inconsiderate! Even by Starbuck's standards! He was going to find out what was going on with his friend if it was the last thing he did! As he wove his way through the crowd he spotted a familiar blond head. With a scowl on his face, he headed straight towards his wayward friend. He came up behind him and put his hand on his shoulder to get his attention. "Funny meeting you here," he said sharply. "I could have sworn you had plans elsewhere tonight." Starbuck jerked around. "Oh! Pol. Boy 'm I glad to see you," he slurred. "I'm loosling my shirt here," he said with a goofy grin on his face. "Is that right?" Apollo said stiffly. Then with a look towards Jeffers, who was half draped over Starbuck, "I thought we had plans tonight but I see you've made plans of your own." "Oh, you 'member Jeffers, don't ya Pol? We ran into each other in the turbowash, um, no that's not it, the turbolift, yeah, that's where." Starbuck was still slurring and looking like he was close to toppling out of his seat. "We st (hic) stopped for a drink." "I can see that." "Come 'n sit fer a drink." "I don't think so. I was just about to leave and so were you." "I was?" Starbuck giggled. "Yes. You were," Apollo said pulling Starbuck from his seat. "Hey!" Jeffers protested and attempted to rise from his seat. Apollo pushed him back down. "Finish your game. I'll make sure he gets home all right," Apollo said in a tone of disgust. Jeffers was far too high to be in any condition to argue so he signaled for another drink and tried to focus his eyes on his cards. Apollo headed for the door once more angrily pulling a stumbling Starbuck behind him. When they got to the shuttle bay waiting area he pushed Starbuck roughly into a seat and sat down next to him. "Hey, what ya pushin' me for?" Apollo turned on him. "What in the hell is wrong with you?!" he demanded angrily. Starbuck tried to focus his eyes. "Are you mad at me fer somethin'?" "You better believe I am! Why have you been acting like such an irresponsible ass lately?!" "Ass?" Starbuck blinked his bleary eyes at him. "Oh forget it, you're too drunk to understand anything I say right now anyway. We'll talk about it tomorrow. Believe me." Starbuck shrugged and slumped bonelessly back in his seat. A few centons later the shuttle back to the Galactica arrived and Apollo helped his friend board. Shoving him into a seat near the back where his condition hopefully wouldn't draw too much attention. Thank Sagan that there weren't very many other people boarding. When they arrived back at the Galactica, Apollo waited until all of the other passengers had gotten off before ushering a still stumbling Starbuck off the shuttle and hustling him onto a turbolift. In the turbolift, Starbuck turned to his friend with a lopsided grin. "Wanna go fer a drink at 'th OC?" "I wanted to go for a drink at the OC with you about three centars ago, but right about now another drink is the last thing you need. I'm taking you back to my quarters so you can sleep it off and then you're going to tell me exactly what's been going on with you lately." Starbuck blinked blearily at him. "We gonna have a drink at your place?" Apollo just rolled his eyes heavenwards. The lift stopped and Apollo somehow managed to get his friend to his quarters without drawing any undue attention to themselves. He opened the door and ushered Starbuck in the direction of the longseat. Starbuck sat down and promptly slid off of it and onto the floor. With another roll of his eyes Apollo picked him up and placed him so that he was laying securely on the longseat. He proceeded to pull his boots off with Starbuck mumbling incoherently the whole time. By the time Apollo went to get an extra blanket to cover him with he was out cold. Apollo shook his head, covered his friend up, then turned out the lights and went to bed. ***** The next morning Apollo awoke to the sound of retching coming from the turbowashroom. He put his arm over his face and thought to himself, 'Serves him right. I hope he feels even worse than he sounds.' After awhile he heard him stumble back out to the longseat and plop down with a groan. Apollo got up to take his morning turbowash hoping the bathroom didn't smell too awful. He stopped to check on Starbuck who was now lying in a motionless heap on the longseat and letting out an occasional moan. Upon entering the turbowashroom he found that it did indeed smell pretty awful. 'Oh, the glamour of the party lifestyle.' He turned on the exhaust fan and sprayed the room heavily with air freshener before taking his wash. After he was dressed and ready for patrol he decided to take on the difficult task of rousing his wingmate. He went over to the longseat and crouched down beside it, "Starbuck," he said softly, gently shaking his friend. "Come on, Starbuck, it's time to get up." Starbuck groaned and rolled over facing the wall. "In a few centons." "No. Now." Apollo shook him more insistently. After several more attempts and many more protests Starbuck finally sat up. "You know, if I keep partying like this, I'm gonna die," Starbuck half joked in a rueful voice. "You're probably right," Apollo said seriously. "You look half dead already." Starbuck just winced at that. "How long until we have patrol?" "About 30 centons. Go take a turbowash, maybe that will make you feel a little better. I'll make some java." "I don't think anything's going to make me feel better right about now," Starbuck mumbled as he staggered off to the turbowashroom. By the time they had to leave for patrol Starbuck was feeling at least halfway human. ***** Once in their Vipers and away from the fleet Apollo confronted Starbuck about last night. "So what happened to you last night? We make plans to meet at the OC, the next thing I know you're bombed out of your skull aboard the Rising Star. What happened between the landing bay and the OC that caused that to happen?" "I don't know," Starbuck mumbled. "I met up with Jeffers and then was heading to the OC." "You obviously didn't make it so what happened?" "Nothing happened. I just didn't make it." Another mumble. "That's it? That's your excuse? You totally blow me off and the only thing you can say is 'I just didn't make it'? What is your problem?!" "I'm sorry. I planned on being there but I just got sidetracked." "Sidetracked by what? You seem to be getting sidetracked quite a bit lately. I don't think I've seen you outside of work for sectons. Don't even get me started on the way you show up looking for patrol. Been spending most of your nights like last night?" "Pretty much," he mumbled softly. "What was that? I couldn't quite hear you." "Mostly yeah," Starbuck said more clearly. "I was afraid of that. You know you can't keep this up, don't you? It's going to catch up with you in a big way sooner or later." "I know." "Then what's been going on with you?" "I don't know, I've just been out of sorts lately." "You were more than a little 'out of sorts' last night, this morning too for that matter." "I know." "So are you going to tell me what's really going on?" "I would but I don't know what's really going on with me myself." "You're going to have to do better than that." "I know." "So what are we going to do about it?" "We?" "Yes. We. You're my best friend. Whatever it is that you're going through, I'm right here for you." Long silence, then, "Thanks." "You know you can talk to me about anything, don't you?" "Yeah. I just really don't have any idea what to say." "Why don't you come over to my place tonight? We'll have a nice quiet evening and you can stay out of trouble for a change." "That sounds like a nice change of pace to me." They finished their patrol and headed back to Apollo's, had a nice quiet dinner with Boxey and played a few games with him before putting him to bed. They spent another couple of centars talking and joking companionably before Starbuck said goodnight and went back to the barracks for the night. ***** Apollo was worried and angry the next day when Starbuck didn't show up for patrol. No one seemed to be able to locate him. Still not sure whether he was more worried or angry he took Boomer on patrol with him instead. When they returned he immediately asked the duty steward if anyone had heard from Starbuck. "Um, well, yeah." The steward looked uncomfortable. "Well where is he?" Apollo demanded. "In the life center." "The life center? What's wrong with him?" "They weren't really giving out any details." Apollo rushed to the life center to see for himself what the problem was. Upon arriving he rushed over to the nearest med tech and asked where he could find Starbuck. She directed him to a private room that was around the corner and down the corridor. He entered to find Starbuck laying motionless in bed, hooked up to multiple tubes and monitors. Cassieopea was standing next to the bed holding Starbuck's limp hand. "Cassie?" She turned, a sad look on her face, and looked at him, almost unseeing. "What happened to him?" In a choked voice she told him, "He collapsed in the turbowashroom of the barracks this morning. His heart stopped twice as the med team was bringing him over here. He seems to have stabilized now but he's in a coma. There's no telling if he's going to pull through or not." "What? What's wrong with him?" "He overdosed on cocaine. I didn't even know he took drugs. Did you?" "Not really. I knew something was wrong. I just didn't know what." Apollo felt a pang of guilt. He had suspected it, but he figured it was just one of those things Starbuck did occasionally. He had no idea that it was this serious. ***** Throughout the next few days Apollo stayed by his friend's bedside every spare moment he had. Holding his hand, caressing his cheek, tracing his finger over the slightly parted lips, feeling the shallow breaths leaving his mouth. Speaking softly to him, whispering words of encouragement, threatening to kick his butt from one end of the ship to the other if he didn't knock it off and get better. After four days of this he was finally rewarded with a slight fluttering of eyelids and an increase in the monitors activity. He called for Dr. Salik immediately and was told to leave the room as the med team came in to examine the blond Lieutenant. Instead of leaving he hung back out of everybody's way, looking on with hope in his eyes. The med team finished examining the patient and left. When Dr. Salik turned to leave he wasn't surprised to find Apollo still in the room looking at him with questions in his eyes. "He's out of the coma but he's not fully conscious right now. He's got a rough road ahead of him but he should pull through." Apollo sighed in relief and thanked the doctor as he left. Alone with his wingmate again, Apollo approached the bed and took a seat next to it. Starbuck's eyes were closed but the sounds from the monitors were much stronger than they had been earlier. "You really did it this time, Bucko. Why couldn't you just talk to me about what was going on with you? Don't you know how much I care about you? I don't know what I'd do if anything ever happened to you." The monitors beeped on in the otherwise silent room. ***** Two centons later Starbuck was up and around and ready to be released from the Life Center. Because of the nature of his stay, some conditions were put on his release. He had to stay with a responsible party, undergo counseling, was placed on probation and had to return to the Life Center once a secton for a drug test. Starbuck wasn't very happy about the conditions but realized how badly he had messed up and was grateful for the second chance. Apollo, of course, volunteered to have Starbuck stay with him as soon as he heard the news. ***** "Home at last," Apollo said brightly as they entered his quarters. "Your home anyway." "Don't be so sour. It'll be fun rooming together again. It'll be like back when we were at the academy." "I seem to remember you were always bailing me out of trouble then too." "Quit feeling sorry for yourself. This kind of thing is what friends are for." "I never seem to bail you out of trouble. You never get in trouble." "You'd be surprised." "Oh?" "Let's just say my teenage yahrens were probably what turned my father's hair white." "I find that hard to picture." Apollo just smiled and changed the subject. "I put a cot in my bedchamber for you. Why don't you just put your things in there?" "Sure." Starbuck went in and plopped his bag on the floor next to the cot and headed back out into the living area. "You hungry?" Apollo asked. "Nah. I ate before I left," Starbuck said as he sat down on the longseat, looking around uncomfortably. "So... ," Starbuck started then stopped. "So," Apollo replied in the awkward silence. "What do you feel like doing?" "I don't know," he replied still looking absently around the room. Then his eyes fell on something in the corner and he smiled mischievously. "When's Boxey get home from instructional period?" "Not for a couple of centars. Why?" "Wanna play with Muffit?" Starbuck grinned. "What kind of drugs have they been giving you at the Life Center?" "No," Starbuck's grin turned evil. "I mean let's *play* with Muffit. Like shave words into his fur or tie things to him, maybe fiddle with his wiring." "You are seriously dangerous when you get bored," Apollo laughed. "I know. So you wanna?" "I'll go get the hair clippers and some string. You look for things to tie to him." Apollo returned the evil grin. The two spent the next couple of centars merrily torturing Muffit. "You know, I can't believe we did this," Apollo snickered. "I can't believe how much fun it was," Starbuck giggled. The door whooshed open and Boxey came bounding in then came to an abrupt halt as he spied Muffit. "Uh-oh," the two warriors said in unison. Muffit was bounding about the room, a pair of combat boots were stuffed onto his hind legs. Various household items such as spoons and toothbrushes were tied all over him, making clanking noises as they bounced off each other. The words 'monster bait' were shaved into his pelt. Boxey put his hands on his hips. "What did you two do to Muffit?" he said like a scolding parent. "We were dressing him up for dinner?" Starbuck volunteered. Boxey rolled his eyes heavenwards in a fairly good impersonation of his father. "I just can't leave you two alone, can I?" They just snickered and began untying the strings. "Don't do that. I didn't say I didn't like it. You just should have waited for me, that's all." The snickers turned to giggles as they began retying the strings and Boxey ran off to fetch some more decorations. They laughed and joked all through dinner and beyond until Boxey couldn't keep his eyes open any longer and they put him to bed. As they were both tucking him in Boxey said, "I'm glad you're staying with us Starbuck." Starbuck smiled warmly at him. "Me too." They headed back out to the living area and Starbuck started to turn on the IFB but Apollo stopped him. "Don't you think its time we had a little heart to heart talk?" Starbuck grimaced, "Couldn't it wait?" "I think its waited too long already." "I guess you're right." "What happened to cause you to end up in the Life Center? I was with you the night before and you were fine. I thought you were going home and going to sleep." "I was. I did. I mean, I went back to the barracks that is. Then I couldn't get to sleep right away. Jeffers came in and he was wide awake too and we decided to stay up and party a little bit before turning in." "Just a little bit?" "Okay, a little bit turned into quite a lot. One thing led to another, I didn't end up getting any sleep at all. When I started getting ready for patrol in the morning I wasn't feeling too well at all but figured I'd be okay once I got going. The next thing I know I woke up in the Life Center." "You realize how lucky you were don't you? You could have died. You could have been brain damaged. You're very lucky all they did was put you on probation, they could have pressed charges." "I know. It was stupid." "I don't understand why. Why would you get involved with drugs and with someone like Jeffers of all people? I didn't even think you liked Jeffers." "I got involved with Jeffers because he always had drugs. Why I got involved with drugs isn't exactly clear to me either. I'd been moody and depressed and it just sort of happened," Starbuck shrugged. "I'm not buying that. I don't think you're being honest with me or yourself." Starbuck shrugged again and looked at the floor. Apollo tilted his friend's face up to look at him and held his gaze for a long moment. On a strange impulse, he leaned forward and brushed his lips against the blond's. When he pulled back, Starbuck looked startled and more than a little flustered. "What was that for?" he asked breathlessly. "I just felt like doing it." "Could you do it again? I wasn't ready last time," Starbuck breathed. Apollo smiled and leaned forwards and kissed him again. This time Starbuck returned the kiss and it deepened until they both had to come up for air. Both of them were grinning from ear to ear. Starbuck couldn't believe it when he found himself actually blushing. Apollo leaned in again and trailed soft kisses down his friend's neck. He moved up to nibble on one perfect earlobe softly. Moving over to his face again he kissed each closed eyelid gently then moved down to place a gentle kiss on the full lips. Starbuck was breathing heavily and was arching into his wingmate wanting more contact but gentle hands held him back. "I want to go slow, savor every moment. No need to rush," the dark-haired warrior whispered into his companion's ear. Starbuck leaned back with an effort and allowed his friend to softly and gently caress him, stopping occasionally to kiss or nibble on the skin that was being exposed as his partner slowly began to remove his tunic. The slowness was agonizing and he tried to finish pulling his tunic off himself but was again stopped. He sighed and leaned back again. Finally, blessedly he was relieved of his tunic. All of his nerve endings were on fire as Apollo began to unfasten his belt. A low moan escaped his lips as his pants were lowered slowly down to his ankles, Apollo trailing kisses along his legs the entire way. His head was thrown back and he felt that his eyes were rolling into the back of his head as he felt his boots and socks being removed followed by his pants being tugged completely off. He couldn't stifle a giggle as Apollo bent down and began suckling on his toes. "That tickles." All he got in reply was a wicked grin. Then Apollo was working his was back upwards again with agonizing slowness. He squirmed as he felt a warm tongue trailing a path up his calf and to his inner thigh. "Pol, please." Apollo looked up at him and grinned. "I hate it when you call me that." Then moved this mouth to the other inner thigh and traced a path downwards to his ankle with his tongue. Starbuck wriggled and squirmed even more. "*Apollo*, please," he begged. Apollo grinned again and moved back upwards teasing, licking and kissing until he reached his friend's throbbing erection. He stopped, he mouth poised just above the tip, then tentatively gave it a few quick licks with the tip of his tongue. This caused Starbuck to jerk violently and moan. "Oh, please, please, please." Apollo had mercy on him and slowly took the length of him into his mouth, then pulled his mouth off him almost all the way before plunging back down again. Starbuck was almost out of control at this point and his own erection was growing very painful in his pants. Pulling his mouth off of him completely, he moved upwards and placed a kiss on his partner's protesting lips and whispered one word. "Bed." Starbuck groaned again in protest but allowed his wingmate to lead him to the other room. Once there he was pushed gently back on the bed to watch while Apollo slowly and methodically stripped out of his own clothes and neatly placed them on the dresser top. Starbuck just wanted to yell at him to throw the fracking things on the floor and hurry up. Apollo was apparently determined to take his own sweet time and drive Starbuck to distraction in the process. After what seemed like an eternity, Apollo joined him on the bed. He slid on top of Starbuck so that their groins were rubbing together in a most heavenly way and began kissing him with all the passion he'd be feeling towards him for so long. His kisses were returned with equal fervor as the sensations caused by their movements continued to rub their members together until they both exploded in a haze of ecstasy. Apollo collapsed on top of his new lover, making no move to get up as they both tried to catch their breath. After several long moments, still not moving from his position, Apollo smiled down at his friend. "You have no idea how long I've wanted to be just where I am right now." "You have no idea how long I've wanted you to be there," was the happy response. "I never thought you were interested, you know, in men." "What?! I've been dating men almost as long as I've been dating women. I thought you knew." "No. If I thought you'd be interested in that sort of thing don't you think I would have said something before?" "I figured you knew and weren't interested in me that way." "Believe me. I'm interested you a so very many ways." Apollo dove in for another kiss which was returned enthusiastically. That kiss led to another kiss, then another. Soon they were both hard and aching again. This time Starbuck took his time to leisurely explore his new lover's body as well as enact a little revenge for the earlier torture his friend had inflicted upon him. "Starbuck! Please!" Apollo screamed as he writhed about. "Uh-uh. Paybacks," Starbuck grinned evilly. "Oh, please. I want you in me," Apollo moaned desperately. Starbuck decided right then and there that he had tortured his friend enough. "Do you have any lube?" he asked breathlessly. "Top dresser drawer." Just as breathless, as he pointed to the drawer. Starbuck quickly retrieved it, opened the top and squirted some onto his fingers. He swirled the tip of his index finger around Apollo's sweet opening until his lover was thrusting himself down trying to impale himself on it. Starbuck took mercy on him and inserted the finger fully, wiggling it back and forth. A second and third finger joined them and he thrust them all in and out, scraping the prostate each time he thrust forwards. Apollo's legs were spread wide and he was whimpering uncontrollably by this time. "Pleeeeaaaasssse. Pleeeeeaaaaasssssse!" Unable to resist such a delicious temptation, he removed his fingers and replaced them with his swollen, throbbing member. Holding Apollo's legs high up about his waist he plunged home. The sensation was mind blowing. He couldn't believe how hot and tight his friend was as his cock was tightly enveloped in the welcoming sheath. He tried to go slowly but began to thrust in earnest as the sensations began overwhelm him. Apollo was almost mindless with the erotic pleasure pulsing through him at the feeling of being filled by the person he loved most. Before long he was screaming out his release and crying out, "I love you Starbuck!" Starbuck screamed his release shortly after and collapsed on top of his lover breathing heavily. When both of their breathing had slowed once more Starbuck looked at Apollo. "Did you just say you loved me?" Apollo swallowed nervously. "Yes." Starbuck's smile lit up the room. "I love you too. Pol." "I hate it when you call me Pol." Apollo laughed and then began tickling him. The rolled about playfully for awhile enjoying the moment for all they were worth before snuggling up close to go to sleep. "You know what, Apollo?" "What's that?" Apollo murmured sleepily. "I can't remember the last time I made love instead of just having sex." "Yeah?" "Yeah. Thanks." Apollo smiled, "It was my pleasure." Starbuck swatted at him playfully. "You know what, Starbuck?" "What's that?" Starbuck cheerfully mimicked. Apollo swatted back at him playfully, then said seriously, "I think you're gonna be alright." "I think you just may be right." The End