THOUGHTS UPON LEAVING MY NOW-GROWN SON

By Edith Winifred Sholl Olstad Darke, Copyright 1981

I remember, I remember,
When we said our last goodbyes,
I stood there in the shadows
So you couldn't see my eyes,

For fear they might betray me,
Tho I hoped you somehow knew
My utter desolation
As I disappeared from view . . . .

The smile I'd curled around my lips
Disguised an anguished breast;
I must mask this private agony
In this crucible, my test.

O, how different from your childhood days,
When, heart upon my sleeve,
If we should part for half a day
I had the right to grieve

And to worry over appetites
And teddy bears and colds
And all such considerations
As mothering enfolds

My kiss was on your forehead then,
Or it cured your skinned-up knee;
Your day at school my penance
Which I served so pridefully . . . .

Ah, but you were two feet six, then, son,
and now you're six feet two;
The badge of love I proudly wore,
I now must hide from view

I must be forever satisfied
With subtleness of tone
And attain the stilted stylishness
Of casual aplomb,

And pretend it's very easy
This detachment of the heart,
This "feigned forever" nonchalance
Required for the part.

But, Oh, next time I see you
If God grants me that Grace,
I will run in haste to kiss you,
And my tears will melt your face.

For I can no longer qualify
At the grand pretentious game . . .
The love that's in this mother's heart
Can have no other name!

"Copyright 1981 ------ Edith W.S. Olstad"

©Edith W. Darke, Author

Other poems written by Edith

Prayer

Mirror, Mirror

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