copyright 1999, Jacquelyn Floyd
Original Production April 1st, 2000 Heartlande Theatre Co.
Director Stephanie L Nichols
Soul 2: male or female, ageless -Thomas Hoagland
Byron Winkelschnitz: male game show host, faux youth -Wayne Nichols
Liberty: male or female, 20-40 -Maggie Patton
Bartender: male or female, 20-60 (non-speaking) -James P Hazen
Barfly: male or female, 20-40 -Wayne Nichols
Grocery Clerk: male or female, 20-40 -James P Hazen
Characters may be double cast. Gender roles are not an issue!
February 2002
Staged reading; Steal Beam Theatre, St Charles, IL
January 12,2003. Directed by Merel Marine
Soul 1/Liberty: Stacie Steinke
Soul 2/Liberty: Mike Kolodziej
Byron/Bartender/Barfly/Grocery Clerk: Ed Klemm
Stage Directions: Debbie Donovan
No, really, it’s fine. It’s just, I was wondering if you wanted to try one more lifetime?
SOUL 1
Oh, I don’t know—
SOUL 2
You don’t have to if you don’t want to…It’s just, I’ve heard about other couples trying this and it really changed their relationships.
SOUL 1
Trying what?
SOUL 2
Not going to earth in a desperate, romantic search as two lost souls looking to become one, but—
SOUL 1
Yes?
SOUL 2
As just one person.
(BLACKOUT. A bell rings. Quick switch to game show host in spot.)
BYRON
…She’s a Gemini who likes quiet dinners by candlelight and monster truck rallies, let’s hear it for Liberty!
(Applause. LIBERTY enters shyly at first, then smiles and waves seductively. She sits on a stool by the host.)
BYRON
Liberty, what is it you look for in the perfect date?
LIBERTY
Well, Byron—
BYRON
Please, call me “Mr. Winkelschnitz.”
LIBERTY
I like someone who can make me laugh, but can hold a serious conversation about world affairs. Someone who can take me to an art museum and maybe get me backstage passes to an AC/DC concert that same night. So, uh—I guess you can say I don’t know what I want, Byr—Mr. Winkelschnitz. That’s why I’m here.
BYRON
Okay! Good answer! Let’s meet the lucky contestants vying for a date with you today! First, we have an Aries from Ocean City, Maryland who likes jazz and r & b music and fast cars, let’s hear it for Drew!
(A bell rings. Switch to LIBERTY at a bar, very drunk and talking to a slightly disinterested BARTENDER.)
LIBERTY
So, I figured, I had three dates to choose from, how could I lose? Well, I lost. All I got was a home version of the game and this lousy watch. And look
(shoving her wristwatch under the BARTENDER’s nose)
Mickey’s flipping me off! Bastard.
(BARTENDER shrugs and walks away. BARFLY approaches.)
BARFLY
Hey, baby. What's your sign?
LIBERTY
(sarcastic)
Oh. That's a new one.
(BARFLY is crushed and turns away. Bell rings. BARFLY approaches again.)
BARFLY
Hey, baby. What's your sign?
LIBERTY
"Tresspassers will be shot."
(Bell rings.)
"Slippery when wet."
(Bell rings.)
"Parking in rear"!
(LIBERTY stands, smacking her own butt. BARFLY is terrified and runs off.)
LIBERTY
I'm so lonely.