APARTMENT SEARCH
The first apartment I looked at was inhabited by two girls and a husband. I'm sure they were perfectly nice people, but the apartment was pretty atrocious: bad acustic ceilings, cheap linolium floors, faux wood paneling, really old run-down appliances. Just all around sketchy.
The second place I looked at was heavenly! The first floor of a triple decker in a nice, quiet neighborhood near Greenhill Park. All new appliances, including washer and dryer, and the walls had color! Beautiful floors, and only $250/month.
Sigh. If this apartment were a guy, I'd marry him.
But alas, my transitory nature was a black mark against me, and the girl living there picked someone else. That was a rejection I was prepared for, but, still, it was hard. If the Garden of Edan was in fact not a garden but an apartment, it would have been this one.
Next I was emailed by Brad. And this is where the story gets interesting....
Tuesday morning I had this email in my inbox:
I have a room to rent in worcester. Features are: off street parking, washer and dryer, fully renovated apartment, brand new bathroom, stove, fridge, dishwasher. only 375 a month. quiet neighborhood.
It's short, to the point, and includes the words "brand new bathroom," "washer and dryer," and "dishwasher." How could I not at least check it out? My response:
Where in Worcester? Would I have to sign a year long lease (I'm looking for month to month, or just fall semester, starting 8/1)? Who else lives there? Utilities?
New bathroom and a washer and dryer is certainly appealing!
Wednesday morning his response was waiting for me in my inbox:
its near elm park area, northern worcester, ultilies are not included but only amount to $30 extra in the warm months, and maybe like $60 when the heat is on, i have one other roommate, but he is in europe for the summer so its just me here. you can call me at _________ so we can chat or AIM cowgod143
The name "cowgod143" rang a bell, so I went to Roommate Click.com and there were three different profiles all involving the screen name "cowgod143" and all filled out with as little information as possible.
OK. No wonder I ignored this gem of an apartment. But, desperate times call for desperate measures. I signed on to AIM.
We chatted a bit about the apartment and my situation. I told him right up front that I wouldn't blame him for dropping me then and there. His response: You give up so quickly. I didn't even ask you out yet.
At the time I thought it was funny and showed a playful sense of humor.
I agreed to walk over during lunch and check out the place.
Brad's apartment is strategically located a couple of blocks from my favorite Subway, within easy walking distance of work, Elm Park, the ghetto Price Chopper, and Kelly. The building--two stories, not a triple decker--is very unassuming from the outside. I call him on my cell phone and let him know I've arrived. He comes and lets me inside.
I hesitate. Before me is an absolutely GORGEOUS apartment. Beautifully updated but keeping some of the original charm of the woodwork, and a new, clean off-white carpet-covered floor spreads out before me. I look down at my sandles; I knew I had stepped in a puddle on the way over.
New carpet, new appliances--shiny new, in fact--new high-quality vinyl flooring. Beautifully redone bathroom with a real tile floor. I'm in heaven. Mentally I begin arranging my room, planning my new morning schedule with work so much closer.
I can't say that I paid much attention to Brad beyond the fact that he was male and dressed for lounging (track pants and a t-shirt). But he seemed nice, and we agreed that he would talk to his landlord about my situation. We said good-bye and I left.
Half way back to work my phone gave an unfamiliar jingle. Someone was sending me a text message.
u r cute you should have stayed and played ;)
I stared at my phone in disbelief.
Being, well, me, I chose to ignore said text message. While there were many ways one could take that phrase, I had no idea if my preference for play-as-in-board-games was correct or just wishful thinking.
When I got back to the office there was an email waiting for me. I'm sure you can guess who from.
you are cute, you should have stayed and played ;) but yeah ill definitely get on to asking the landlord very soon
Looking back on it, I never should have responded, or at least not the way I did. But the innocent, business-like bit about the landlord caused me to relax my guard. I wrote something to the effect:
Would have stayed if I could but duty calls....
Idiot. I talked it over with Laura while all of this was going on. She agreed with me--give him the benifit of the doubt. After all, I reasoned, he is a WPI student, an engineering geek or computer geek. Some sort of geek. Maybe he really didn't mean anything by it. And besides, I'm not cute. Or at least not that day. I was having an "ugly day." Everyone has them, those days when you look in the mirror and go, "Ugh. That's me?" I was having that kind of day. I was almost insulted by his saying I was cute. Ridiculous.
Later that day I receive the following email:
aww you wanted to play. and you wanted to play with me? well what about after work? or some other night...depends on what kinda playing did you have in mind?
He's asking me? He's. Asking. Me. Now I was beginning to fear for his sanity as well as mine. But still... it was such a beautiful apartment! I was sitting in my office, staring at this email, and suddenly I just picked up my phone and called him.
"I got your email," I told him. "And I was about to ask you the same thing. What do you mean by 'play?'"
Well, after a lot of stuttering--mostly on my side--and a lot of coyness--on his side--we finally worked out that, indeed, he was inviting me to come and fool around.
Who does that? Who mixes roommate-hunting with sleazy frat-boy activities? Weird-o. But images of the new washer and dryer floated in front of my eyes.... for a moment I almost considered dropping by after work.
But I didn't, I refused him. I rejected him, even. And then I mumbled something about hearing from him after he confers with the landlord. I hung up.
I was in a total crisis. Was I being unreasonably prudish? Childish? Or was he out of line? What was going on? I had trouble believing that there was anything genuine going on. It's like that joke from Annie Hall: "I would never want to belong to a club that would have me for a member."
I went home in a funk. I told the story to my roommates. They were appalled. Everyone was telling me the same thing: "You can't move in with him. Who knows what he'll do."
I laughed bitterly. It was easy for them to say that. They hadn't seen the apartment. They weren't having this crisis of conscience. They weren't being racked by self-doubt, loathing. The fact that I considered it. The fact that I couldn't even believe for a moment that this could really happen to me.
I went for a walk, and just like in any good John Cusack movie: it rained on me. I went to Kelly's told her the whole story, and that seemed to exorcise some of the demons, because I felt a whole lot better after that. I was warmed by self-righteous anger. How dare he? What a loony!
Before she took me home, the lure of the internet called to me. I sat down in front of her computer. Maybe Mike had emailed. Or Holger. Some nice guy to restore my faith in humanity.
Nope. But there was this email:
you should have came over and played, and by played i mean fool around with me ;)
At this point, I could only laugh. I mean, what was with this guy? If I had given him any sign of interest... besides in the apartment, I mean. Very twisted. Was he trying to meet girls or find a roommate?
And there the story ends.
At least, I thought it was the end. This afternoon I received another email. And it was this email that spurred me to recount my story for all to read. This Brad is an incredible piece of work.
hey i forgot to ask you a couple things. Like are you usually busy with school work? If you arent busy what do you like to do? like go out, movies, just hang out at home? do you go to the gym at all?
After reading these first few sentences I thought, well, maybe he's agreeing to put all of this weirdness and awkwardness behind and get down to the business of possibly being roommates. After all, the apartment was an unbelievable find. I could over look serious personality flaws for a brand new washer and dryer.
But no, there was more.
what do you look like?, im sure there is more, ill let you know ;) and im definitely excited about meeting you
What do I look like? He met me, for god's sake! I'm excited about meeting you? You met me! We talked. You showed me your apartment. You tried to ask me back to your lair!
I wrote back.
You've already met me.... and I'm not interested in being a roommate or anything else for that matter.
Good luck with your roommate search, or whatever it is that you're after. You need all the luck you can get.
A little harsh? Perhaps. But I think it's justified....
There's a new message from Brad in my inbox. I haven't read it. OK.... let's see his response....
hey that email was totally not for you, im so sorry, i just have been getting tons of emails and i cant keep them straight. but if you arent interested anymore thats fine i guess i was going to talk to the land lord today, if you still want me to let me know otherwise i wont bother sorry for the confusion
I'm not interested. I'm not. I'm really not.
No.
