Author: Bell Pie toggledog@yahoo.com

Rating: R Warning: Dark imagery, crass language

Pairings: Harry/Draco, Ron/Hermione

Author’s Notes: Again, thanks a bunch to all my reviewers. Hope it’s up to expectations. J

Slut.

Ironic that a muggle word should fit so well to such a proud pureblood wizard.

And now you have Harry. No. You won’t be putting your little snake hands on him. Not anymore. He’s better than you. Always has been. I’m going to love the results, I know. It will be brilliant to see Draco Malfoy at the supreme mercy of Harry. I hope he makes you suffer.

What did you do to your face?

Hope it hurts you miserable, evil little-

Here she is. Arrived home. Salvation. I love her. Do you understand? More than I love my own life.

My beautiful Hermione.

She knows something has happened. My face is one of her open books. I lie, muttering about spying Snape in the local robery. She nods but I can see that she does not believe it.

Do you think just because of what we do in that classroom, that you can blackmail me to your control?

It is nothing to me. You are nothing to me.

Tramp. How do you like that one?

It is different with Hermione. Slower, sweeter. Not the mad rush of biting, wrestling and clawing that marks our efforts.

She allows me to kiss her on the lips. The one time I attempted with you, it was as if I was trying to rape you, such was your reaction.

I do not understand. You hate me. I hate you. And yet we continue with this bizarre mating ritual every week. You never enjoy what we do. In fact, I sense that you detest my very touch. And yet, I see it in your eyes when we pull apart to dress.

Satisfaction. For whatever reason, you need this.

She drifts off contently to sleep beside me. I stay awake, my eyes pricking with tears. I did not think myself capable of such atrocities. Why do you let me hurt you so? Every time, I play directly into your sickened game. I feel as if I am the one being raped. Yet you’re the one with the bruises at the end of each session. You’re the one who screams out in agony when I hurt you deeply.

I want to kill you. Wrap my hands around your throat and squeeze. No more bane of my life. No more Draco Malfoy.

I can’t tell the others of my shame. Not Harry or Hermione.

I find myself watching you more and more in class. Looking forward to our weekly session. And each time I promise that I won’t hurt you. I don’t want to. I want it to be as it is between Hermione and I.

But you don’t seem to understand slow. Can’t comprehend gentle touches and kisses. If I try, you fight me, forcing me to defend myself and hurt you.

No, no. Don’t think that way, Ron. You hate him. If he wants rough, then let the slut have it.

I stifle a sob into my pillow. What have I become? I want to stop. But I can’t. You have become my drug. A salve to the darkened yearnings of my own psyche.

I hate you. You’ve turned me into a monster. No, you’ve released such an ugly beast. And now I cannot control him.

What is wrong with you, Draco?

Please, Harry. Whatever it is. You have to help him.

***

I have decided that Remus Lupin is a very desirable creature. He moves with an almost ethereal grace. I am told I possess the same elegance, but surely could not enchant as he does, with a mere flick of hand. He settles the drink before me and slips comfortably into a chair opposite. Harry is beside me.

Perhaps I will work on Lupin. Having one of such high value in the fight against Voldemort under my control may be useful.

I already own Harry and Sirius.

I try to dispel the guilt from such foul thoughts, particularly of Harry, but they come so easily. If I cannot hate Harry Potter then what can I do? If I do not use sex to control others then what am I?

Lupin will be a difficult one. I can see he will not give it up so easily. Good. I like a challenge.

That was the disappointment in Harry. He gave up, his virginity, no less, so easily.

"Draco." Harry looks unsure of how to continue. "The muggles I lived with before were not nice people." He looks to Lupin for support. The werewolf smiles gently. "They treated me awfully. Abused me. Emotionally and physically. Kept me locked in a little room under the staircase for five years. After Sirius was cleared, he and Remus fought to-"

"I know, Potter. What is the point of this?"

"What I’m saying is that Sirius worked with the Young Wizard Protection Council before he was sent to Azkaban. It’s a group for helping out children who have been abused."

"He had his membership revoked after he was sent away." Lupin explained. "But I am a member and so is Percy Weasley and Oliver Wood."

I know where this is going and clear my throat, signaling for it to stop.

"If we can have your permission, we will work solely with you to protect you from Lucius… as well as whoever else who has hurt you. And we will expose them and punish them."

I think this is the only time I have ever been dumbfounded. Lupin nods sadly.

"I am aware of the Death Eaters’ sickened fancies."

I am trembling. He has known all along of my deepest shame. The ex-teacher reaches across to take my hand. I snatch mine off the table. I cannot look in Harry’s direction but can feel his eyes boring into me.

Lupin is silent a long time before speaking. "It is not your fault, Draco. Look at me!" My face is lifted up automatically upon his command. "You have done nothing wrong. They are the evil ones. Not you."

Oh, Lupin. So naïve. Why don’t you tell him, Harry? Tell him what a bastard I am. Inform him of the time I deliberately swerved into you with my broom on the Quidditch field, causing you to fall thirty feet through the air and then laughed when you were being plastered up in hospital from the countless broken bones. Or the time I humiliated you in front of the entire school, informing them of what a great lay you were.

I am an absolute bastard. I deserve everything they give to me. I deserve it.

I hate this slide into self pity. Ridiculous, indeed, to think that I deserve to be held down by my own father while a dozen or so Death Eaters take turns in forcing themselves in me, laughing and cheering each other on.

Hilarious.

Only I never get the joke.

I still can’t face Harry. To see the look of pity or, worse, disappointment in his eyes.

"Excuse me."

I wander out to the bathroom. I don’t need to use the toilet. It is just an excuse. I take a while going through Lupin and Black’s toiletries. I am surprised that Lupin doesn’t dye his hair, or there is no evidence of it here. The streaks of grey suit him but I do think his original hair colour deserves to be brought out. It is very pretty. I close the cabinet and look at my face in the mirror.

I cannot stand to see it but I force myself. People tell me it is a beautiful face. Oliver had said that it is neither a masculine or feminine beauty. It is a Draco Malfoy beauty, unique to only me. All I see is paleness all over. I look as if the life blood has been sapped out of me. I reach into the cabinet once more and withdraw a pair of scissors, holding it to my cheek.

Perhaps I will gouge out my eyes, mutilate the flesh of my cheeks. I hate my appearance with such a venom at that point that all I want to do is cut it up. To slice and slice with the scissors until there is nothing left.

I smell him before I see him. The same overpowering aftershave. How did he get here? My only thought is for Harry. Please let Harry get away. A hand clamps over my mouth, the other twists my hand until the scissors fall, then reaches to clutch at my throat, adding pressure.

He says the words that have come to mean pure torture and pain for me. I should have slit my wrists. This time I will do it properly.

"You have been very bad, Dirty Draco."
 
 

tbc…

AN-

Next Chapter: Hero Snape!

Sorry, promised Percy and Oliver. Definitely next chapter.