~~ ~~~ ~~

At Hermione’s insistence, Harry walked her back to her house some streets away, with her gripping his hand in a death grip as if afraid that he would vanish into thin air at any given moment…and since he could Apparate, it was a distinct possibility. They walked in some silence, weighed under with shopping, unsure of how to broach conversation.

It wasn’t until they reached Hermione’s house, and she was able to make them a very strong cup of coffee for them both and start putting the shopping away did any subject of the past invade their pleasantries.

"Why did you go?" she spoke, facing her old-time friend as he leaned against the bench, sipping his coffee.

He smiled sadly. "You should know why Hermione, and if you don’t, then you…don’t know me as well as I always thought you did."

"You left because of Ron’s death," she stated calmly, Harry flinching at her tone and Ron’s name. "But it still doesn’t explain why you left and didn’t contact anyone…why you didn’t at least write to me, or Sirius, or even Dumbledore…it’s been eight years Harry! Eight bloody long years of thinking that you, of asking ourselves what we could have done, of thinking, in the backs of our minds that you were dead for God’s sakes! You just…disappeared. No ‘thanks for everything’, no ‘goodbye’, no nothing! Just gone…‘Poof!’"

He shrugged helplessly, and she slogged on regardless.

"We’ve been searching for you for eight years Harry. Sirius refused to give up, I refused to, Dumbledore still has his spies out…you almost killed us all by leaving. You almost killed me by leaving." She stopped, her eyes growing bright with emotion. "You just…left."

"Hermione-" his voice was pleading. "Please. Please stop." he fought to keep a check on his emotions. "Please, just let me explain something for a minute."

"Go ahead…I’ve been waiting eight years for an explanation!"

Harry put down his coffee cup and rested his chin on one, open palm. "Okay…well, I suppose I should start at the beginning." he sighed deeply. "After the graduation ceremony, after we had all packed up and was ready to go, I finally opened the letter from Ron that he had written to me, just in case I don’t make it out, he told me, when he’d given it to me. I felt like that was the right moment to, my last few minutes standing in the only place I’d really ever loved. I’d loved Hogwarts, and every second there…with you and Ron, Dean and Seamus, Neville and Ginny, Fred and George, Angelina and Katie, Oliver and Alicia, Parvati and Lavender, Ernie and Justin, Padma and Hannah, y’know, the Old Crowd." Hermione nodded.

"Hell, I even got to like the Creevey brother over the years, despite how annoying they could really be! But when I read Ron’s letter…it stirred up so many memories…all the times that I almost lost him, all the times I almost lost you, all the times that I dragged both of you into danger with me, and it was like I suddenly just…died. In my heart. And I felt so damned responsible…if he hadn’t of been so adamant about being there, if I had just fought him on it enough, then he wouldn’t be-" Here, Harry choked.

"Harry-" Hermione started. "It was never your fault…it was Voldemort’s and he’s dead, thank God. Christ…if you’d have just come to me, talked to me, I could’ve told you that you weren’t alone, but you just shut yourself off…in some ways it was like you weren’t hurting at all. Like you were holding yourself together with sheer will alone."

"Oh I was hurting alright, and badly too."

"So, where did you go?"

"Well, after we got to the platform after that train ride back to London, after I’d said goodbye to you, I simply Apparated, and ended outside of Gringott’s…I was meant to be meeting Sirius at the platform, but he must have been late, and we were all still racing around, and there were people everywhere, that no one noticed that I was gone. So I went into Gringott’s, took out…oh, probably half the gold that was there and changed the whole lot into Muggle money. I left my trunk down there, only taking a few things…the photo album of my parents, a couple snaps of you, Ron and Ginny, and my wand. That’s it…seven years worth of my life and all I had to show for it were some photos."

"Oh Harry."

"Anyway…I created new documents for myself before I left…I became James Evans-" Hermione let out a gasp and thumped her hand on the table with a cry of "I should’ve thought of that!"

"-and I disappeared into the Muggle world. I had over a million pounds and once I’d bought myself some new clothes, I went straight to the airport and got on a plane.

"I ended up in Australia, and I’ve been living in Sydney ever since. I’ve travelled, well, all over…I saw the outback and spent some time in Queensland and Victoria, I’ve done lots of bush walking all around the place, mainly in Tasmania, and I’ve been to New Zealand as well. I built myself a whole new life down there. I run some big department stores down there, called Evans, and we’re a huge chain now, and that’s why I’m back here…helping put together my latest store in London…well, I would’ve been if I hadn’t been completely freaked out and walked away and left the team in charge."

Hermione looked at him shrewdly. "Who did you see?"

"Colin."

"You’re still running away from Colin?" Hermione cracked up.

Harry nodded emphatically. "I didn’t realise that he was working for The Times! So when he turned up at the store I high tailed it out of there, came here, and who do I run into…you! Although I think I would rather you over Colin any day!"

"Well…I’d have stuck with Colin." she suddenly said, seriously, folding her arms. "Because it’s telling off time! Why didn’t you ever write to us?"

"Oh ‘Mione! In the first year…the first couple of years anyway, I was too angry…too depressed…I just needed to get away from the wizarding world completely. I just needed to vanish, to feel lost in a crowd. The Australian’s didn’t know me, they didn’t know me as a saviour, they didn’t see me at ‘Harry Potter’…I was just James Evans, the rich kid with a funny scar. And by the time I got over myself, by the time I owned my first department store, I was so concreted into my life that I didn’t want the change to end. I thought about writing to you, to Sirius…even to Dumbledore or Professor McGonagall…or Molly and Arthur…but my first thought was ‘What if they don’t want to know me now?’ I was so painfully aware that I had just walked out on you all that I wasn’t sure if I could just waltz back on in again."

"Of course we would have! We all would have Harry! Even Draco would have, and he almost died when you left you absolute thoughtless bastard!"

"Draco? You still see Draco?"

Hermione snorted. "In a manner of speaking. But don’t change the subject! For Christs Sake Harry, I needed you back then! Ron was dead yes, but have you forgotten that we were going out…have you completely forgotten that I was in love with him?"

"Of course no-"

"For fucks sake Harry…I was pregnant!"

Harry stared at her, completely dumbfounded. "What?" he whispered.

"I—was—pregnant! One minute, life was great, the next, my boyfriend, and father of my child is dead, my other best friend goes into deep depression and disappears from my life altogether, my parents were both killed months before with Voldemort’s ‘Muggle Madness Disease’, and I was two months pregnant! Can you imagine the torture I went through? I was grieving for my two best friends, trying hold another friend together because he was convinced that you had left because of him, and preparing myself to be a mother. God, if it hadn’t have been for the Weasley’s…they took me in when I had nowhere else to go…Molly, she was amazing, they all were, they became my family."

"What’s…what’s…" Harry’s face crumpled, unable to comprehend what he had, regrettably, put his best friend through.

"Lily. My daughter’s name is Lily, Harry. Lily Jayne Granger." Her tone was quiet, aware of his tears.

"Lily-" Harry’s voice broke as he suddenly stepped across the kitchen to hug her and bear his soul. "I’m so sorry ‘Mione, I’m so, so sorry…"

The two of them stood there for some long moments, arms wrapped around each other for the second time that day, Harry’s face buried into her shoulder, crying like a child as he thought about Hermione’s child, and what she must have gone through to survive everything. It was like his heart had been ripped open and it expanded to fit in a little girl that he hadn’t known existed, and who probably didn’t even know his name. The two separated and Harry furiously wiped at his eyes with a tissue while she put the kettle on again.

"What’s she like?"

"Amazing. She loves reading…and chess, and has a fascination for Muggle things, just like Arthur, and loves practical jokes...I think that comes with having Fred and George as Uncles." Hermione rolled her eyes.

"Probably." snorted Harry.

"Let’s see…she’s seven and a half, red hair, blue eyes, oh wait until she meets you Harry…she’ll finally be able to put a face to the name that I’ve so constantly mentioned to her all these years!"

"She knows who I am?"

"Of course she does! For a long time, she was the only person I could really talk to about you…about my wayward best friend who I haven’t seen in such a long time. I’ve told her everything about our time at Hogwarts, about you, about Ron, and all the trouble we used to get into!" she started to tick the list off on her fingers. "About the Philosopher’s Stone and the Basilisk, about the Time-Turner and saving Sirius, about Norbert and getting stuck in the Forbidden Forest, about the Triwizard Tournament, fighting the dragon, being in the bottom of the lake, the third task. About Potions and Snape always picking on us, about McGonagall turning into a cat, about our own Animagus forms, about you turning into a golden griffin, about Ron turning into a falcon, about me turning into cat, and the trouble we used to cause. About Moaning Myrtle and her bathroom, trying to make a Polyjuice Potion, about sneaking into Hogsmeade, and the Marauders Map, about Fluffy, Hagrid and Fang, about Herbology with Professor Sprout, flying with Madam Hooch, about your endless trips to the hospital ward because you were constantly being hurt." Hermione paused for breath. "About how Ron and I set you and Draco up by handcuffing you together so you’d talk about your ‘relationship’ and how mad you both were about it afterwards, even through you were so bloody happy!"

Harry was staring at the ground, his eyes dark with emotion. "There’s not a day goes by that I don’t think of those days, of you, and Ron…and Draco."

"He gave everything up for you," Hermione was gentle again. "Everything. He turned his back on everything that we was brought up to believe in, everything that made up his world because he loved you, more than anything else. He gave up everything just to hold you, even though you both tried to deny it for so long."

"I miss him sometimes…actually I miss him a lot. I should probably go see him."

"Yes, you should, he’ll be-" Hermione wry smile was interrupted by the door opening and the sound of stamping in the hall and her daughters voice.

"Mummy, Mummy! The Egyptians were great! Mummy!" a sweet, excited voice whipped around them, and Harry straightened, grinning at the sound of Lily’s voice, instantly warming to her. Hermione smiled at him, but inwardly, she was nervous, what is Draco going to say when he sees Harry?

"In the kitchen sweetie!"

A small, brightly coloured whirlwind raced through the door, only to come to a screeching halt at the sight of Harry. Her red hair fell around her face in whipped up curls, her blue eyes sparkling with emotion, her creamy skin splattered with freckles and touched red from the wind outside. She stared at him a moment before putting two-and-two together in a very Hermione-like fashion.

"’Lo Harry," her young voice was soft, so soft that Draco didn’t even hear her words as he strode into the kitchen behind her.

"Hey, Hermi, I picked up a new book at-" he faltered when he saw Harry standing there, shock crossing his face like lightning, looking like he was about to pass out, the bag with it’s heavy contents clattering to the floor with a dull bang. Hermione watched the two of them carefully.

"Draco?" Harry spoke first. "But—but-" he turned to Hermione blindly.

She ignored him for a moment, concentration on her house-mate. "Draco…you’re not dreaming. Trust me…it’s really him."

"Harry?" Draco’s voice suddenly spoke of anguish, of a long-buried hurt, of lonely days and sleepless nights, of wondering and uncertainty, of trying to move on and not being able to…of a lost love thought gone forever.

Harry nodded. "’S me Drake."

"Christ," Draco shook his head disbelievingly. "Hermi, put the kettle on, I think I need a coffee."

"I’ve got a better idea, why don’t you go down to the cellar, drag up a couple of decent bottles of wine and I’ll order us some Italian from that place down the street, and we’ll all sit down and have a nice long talk." Draco nodded his ascent, walking through the door backwards, never taking his eyes off Harry as if afraid that he was just an illusion, and would disappear from sight immediately when Draco looked away. Harry simply looked stunned. He turned to Hermione and motioned for an explanation.

"I wasn’t the only one that the Weasley’s took it Harry…they also took in Draco. And when Lily was three we both decided to move out, and it just seemed sensible to move in together. For a long time, he was the only one I could talk to…he was my strength, and I was his." Hermione spoke simply, opening a side draw and pulling out a menu from it. Harry stared at her, before suddenly realising that Lily had planted herself at his feet and was staring up at him curiously.

"You must be Lily?" he spoke weakly, weathering under her gaze that was so reminiscent of her mother.

"Are you going to disappear again?" Lily spoke frankly, still staring. "Because if you are then go now before we can all get used to you, okay?" Her tone was plain and angry, knowing about what had happened the last time.

"I’m not going away again Lily…not without telling someone first. I learnt that from the last time!"

"Good!" Spoke up Lily, smiling suddenly. "Can I have a hug now?"

Harry burst out laughing before swooping down on one knee and picking the little girl up, and she became all hands and arms and legs and feet in his embrace. Still in his arms, she pushed the hair out of his eyes and off his forehead, to finally see that famous scar. She trailed a finger down it. Hermione chatted on the phone and she seemed to be ordering enough food to feed a small army.

"How long are you staying?" she asked, still tracing his scar.

"That’s a very good question Lily," Hermione interrupted as she hung up the phone. "How long are you staying this time Harry?"

Harry sighed deeply. "I suppose I’m stuck here for a little while I guess…I’ll have to call London to see if they need me, but I could probably clear my schedule for a fortnight…but I’ll have to go back to Australia some time."

"Fair enough. There’s a phone behind you, you can stay here for the fortnight, we’ve got a perfectly nice guestroom that rarely gets used so you can use that, and no arguments, I’ll call Molly and tell her to expect one more for tea tomorrow night, we always go around there for tea on Sunday’s, it’s a ritual, no arguments, and we’ll go to Hogwarts for a couple of hours on Tuesday to see Dumbledore, I often pop up there to access the library, so there shouldn’t be any hassles there, no arguments, and you’ll have to write to Sirius, or better still call him and let him know that you’re alive and organise for him and Remus to come around for a meal or three. And no arguments Harry James Potter!"

Harry gaped at her, coming to the quick conclusion that even eight years couldn’t stop Hermione when she got going.

"I wouldn’t argue with her Harry, she can be very stubborn, as I’m sure you will remember." Draco had returned with several bottles of wine tucked under his arms.

"I remember," stated Harry, swinging Lily down to the ground, grinding his teeth together. "Vividly. Pass me the phone and I call the office and let them know."

"Done," laughed Hermione, doing just that. "Come on Lils, let’s go get the food."

"’Kay." Lily reached for her mothers hand and the two walked out of the kitchen together, but not before Hermione could whisper some parting advice to Draco, who was now standing at the kitchen bench, opening a wine bottle after hunting for three (matching) glasses, which was no easy feat, considering he kept breaking them.

"Don’t be too hard on him."

Draco waved them out as he listened to Harry on the phone, pouring wine into the three glasses with a soft slosh.

"Hi Philip, it’s James…look, I’m not going to be able to make it back to London for another fortnight or so, is that going to cause any hassles…no, I’ve just run into some old friends and they want me to stay for a while…yeah…well, they’re practically family…uh-huh, something like that…but look, I’ve got my mobile if anything desperate comes up but I have complete faith in you, so I’m sure if anything does come up, you and Kathy should be able to take care of it…oh, and could you call my housekeeper and tell her to make sure…yes, you’ve got it…thanks for this Phil…I’ll call in again in a week okay? Bye." He hung up and turned to find Draco staring at him, a mixed look of apprehension and longing, with just a trace of amazement at seeing him again.

"James?" he asked, holding out a wine glass for Harry, the blonde’s hand shaking slightly.

"I changed my name." the awkwardness between the two men was huge, a valley between them that grew steadily.

"You’ve got an accent."

"I’ve been living in Australia."

"Oh," Draco fumbled for words. "What’s it like?"

Harry smiled wistfully. "Very green, very beautiful, very clean. Very laid-back. I don’t know, it’s just more relaxed, the people are more friendly, it feel like…home to me now. Kind of anyway."

"But?"

Harry shrugged at Draco’s searching tone. "I suppose that England will always be my home…but Australia is my adoptive home…it’s where my life is right now," he watched Draco not watching him. "But my heart will always be here."

Draco looked up, his blonde hair flopping in his eyes, his voice husky.

"Hermione thought we’d never see you again…I thought I’d never see you again."

"I know," he said sadly. "She told me. Repeatedly. And loudly too now that I think about it."

Draco gave a half-hearted laugh. "I…I missed you Harry. I though you leaving…I thought…that maybe…"

Harry plonked down his wine glass quickly, some of the wine splashing over the rim and pooling on the bench, he strode over to Draco who was now staring at the floor again and forced his face up with a hand under his jaw. "It had nothing, nothing to do with you Draco…I didn’t leave because of you…I promise you that!"

Draco looked up at him, his eyes round and expressive, the silver glinting in them, his lips quivering. "Why didn’t you write? Why? Why didn’t you at least write back to my messages? Did you even get them?"

Harry looked sad suddenly, running his thumbs along Draco’s cheeks, palms cupping them. "I got them…but you’ve got to understand Draco, I was in a rough state of mind back then. I felt that I was to blame for Ron’s death, I couldn’t face myself, let alone face anyone else, and by the time I sorted my head out, the letters had stopped coming, and I thought, if I just left you alone, just left you to get over me, then you’d find someone else and you wouldn’t hurt so much. That’s what I thought anyway."

Draco placed his hands over Harry’s and spoke softly. "I could never get over you."

Harry dropped his hands and took a step back from Draco. "I’ve changed a lot Drake, you realise that, don’t you?"

Draco nodded.

"And I’ve got a whole different life as well."

Draco nodded again, and then spoke. "I don’t care. All I care about, all I’ve ever cared about, is you."

Harry looked at him pleadingly. "I’m not sure that I can still love you…I care about you, always have…but I’m not sure if I can just…go back…to, to loving you."

"You loved me?" squeaked Draco. "Really?"

"Of course I did you bloody fool…all the way through seventh year…but I buried all those feelings so deeply inside me after…well, everything…that it may take some time for me to find them again, if I can at all."

"I’m prepared to try and find out," Draco smiled suddenly. "If you are. And if Hermione’s speech is anything to go by, then she’s prepared to help too."

"I think Hermione would be only too happy to have me stay permanently!"

"I’m for that!"

The two men laughed suddenly, their laughter echoing as the front door opened and filled the house with the fragrance of pizza and rich Italian sauces.

~~ ~~~ ~~

"You should phone Sirius, Harry." Hermione prompted. She was curled up in the chocolate-coloured suede chairs, her feet tucked under her. Draco was sprawled on the sofa with Lily, talking more about the Mummies and Artefacts that had fills their afternoon. Harry was in the other swinging chair, still spooning pasta into his mouth with relish, savouring every bite. "And anyone would think you haven’t eaten properly in a month!"

Harry smiled through his mouthful, before swallowing and setting his plate down with a clatter, shrugging.

"Well you should!" Hermione was become more insistent, and Harry caught Draco in the middle of rolling his eyes.

"Give the man a break Hermi, he can do it in the morning…besides, it’s late. Sirius would hardly want to be called now."

Hermione snorted. "Well, I see you two are already sticking up for each other again," she climbed out of her chair and grabbed the phone, thrusting it at Harry. "Call him, he’d want you to call. Lily, it’s time for bed-"

"Uncle Dray, Uncle Dray, read me a story!"

"-One story and then sleep, you have school tomorrow. G’night Honey." Hermione kissed her daughter.

"’Night Mummy, ‘Night Harry!"

"Good night Lils, sleep tight, don’t let the bed bugs bite!" Harry smiled at her.

"C’mon Princess, it’s off the bed for you!" Draco swung her up, tucking her under his arm and trundling out of the room, laughing.

Hermione watched them go, a faint smile on her face.

"He’s good with Lily," commented Harry.

"Mmm, don’t know what I’d do without him," She shook her head, waking up. "But don’t change the subject! Call Sirius…he’s number two on the speed dial." She began to gather up the plates on the table and stack them.

Harry pressed two and, with shaking hands, bought the phone up to, listening to the ring. A male voice answer after the third ring and the rough tone said "Hello?"

"Hello…Sirius?"

"No, no, it’s Remus." Harry took a deep breath, Professor.

"Is Sirius there?"

"Yes he is…can I ask who’s calling?" Remus was standing in the kitchen, flicking his wand while the plates washed themselves, Sirius in the other room, relaxing after the mountain of food that they had prepared, ‘feeling fat’ as he liked to say.

"Um…it’s…it’s Harry, Professor."

Sirius, sitting in their small, but comfortable lounge room, heard a sudden crash of plates from the kitchen, and he leapt up to sprint into the other room. He saw Remus, leaning against kitchen bench, holding his chest and gasping into the phone, pale at a ghost. The shattered plates spread around him, and with a flick of his wand, they were repaired and Sirius rushed to his lovers’ side.

Remus struggled to stay conscious and Sirius could hear a voice saying on the line "Hello? Hello?"

"Where…are…you?" gasped Remus.

"Hermione’s…I’m at Hermione’s." Harry’s voice was fogging up, tears creeping up on him.

Sirius wrestled the phone out of Remus’ grasp and snarled into the phone. "Who is this?"

Harry stood up as Hermione walked back into the room, and she was startled to see the shattered look on his face, voice cracking. "Si-Sirius? Siri? It’s Harry."

Sirius dropped the phone with a sharp clatter, his knees going weak as the sound of his Godson’s voice and Remus grasped his hands and rasped a single word. "Hermione’s."

Almost in unison, they raised their wands and both Disapparated.

~~ ~~~ ~~

TBC

~~ ~~~ ~~

Please R&R…I’d love to hear from you and any ideas that you might have, please pass them along…you can directly email me directly if you want. (If that link doesn’t work let me know! My address is on my front page…I hate computers…!)

My thanks to my Beta Anna: my first reviewer and restorer of my faith in the human species as a whole (for reasons that she knows full well about!)

I also need to add that Harry’s ‘Golden Griffin’ comes from Barb’s Harry Potter and The Psychic Serpent, the first of her trilogy that she’s writing. I’m also putting a huge plug in for it…it’s absolutely brilliant. You can find it at FictionAlley and here on FanFiction (I think, but I’ve never actually looked for it here).

Also: Jess…I know you think I’m crazy, but y’know…you’re just as crazy as me!

Also I’d like to state that at this stage…this fic doesn’t have a plot…I just started to write it a week and a half ago, truly inspired by my immersion of Harry Potter. I’ve just started reading the entire series again…what can I say? I love it.