Title:  Someone Tell Me Why (Love Ridden interlude)

Author: Romie

Archive:  anywhere.  In fact, I'd appreciate it.  Let me know if it's

convenient.

Rating:  PG-13

Pairing:  prelude to Harry/Draco.  suggestions of Draco/Vince.

Spoilers:  none

Disclaimers:  Rowling is God.  Title is taken from the song "Teenage FBI" by Guided by Voices.

Warnings:  This series features a same-sex romantic pairing, and some off- camera cruelty to animals (and I promise I'm not talking about beastiality).

Summary:  This isn't actually part of the Love Ridden series - not exactly.  But it takes place in the same universe.  I mentioned that Crabbe had gone to join Voldemort, and the bunny *attacked* me in the middle of political science.  It wasn't pretty - it reminded me of

that scene from Holy Grail.  This is short, and I *am* working feverishly on the next *real* episode.  Writing for Crabbe was a bit weird because he's not very verbal, but he's not really stupid either.  So he does a lot of talking between the lines, and uses some muddy language.  As we'll recall Draco mentioning, Crabbe has left Hogwarts to join Voldemort.  Enjoy!

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Because I'm big, everyone thinks I'm stupid.  Sure, I'm not too good with words - I've never been able to talk as elegantly as Draco, or find clever comebacks when he yells at me.  Neither can Ron Weasley, but nobody calls him an idiot.  (Except Draco, but anyone's dumb compared to him.)  He's tall, he's clumsy . . . but he's not Big the way I am.

 

People judge you.  Greg tried to fight it for a while.  He read dictionaries and classics - Dormer's _The Wizard of Lisbon_, and _Red Chaser_ by Larsen, and collections of Cobblepot's poetry.  Nobody noticed.  When they did, they laughed at him.  Figured he was just pretending, or made jokes that he was trying to learn English.

 

I gave up a long time ago.  Even my folks talk down to me.  'S why they sent me to Hogwarts instead of Durmstrang like my brothers.  Figured I wasn't smart enough to keep up, 'specially not with the language barrier.

 

I speak fluent German.  Taught myself ages ago; stole my brothers' textbooks over the summer.  Haven't told anyone.  'Fraid they'd treat me like they did Greg.

 

I figured out there's a freedom to being a follower.  Everyone might despise me, but I'm never held responsible for my actions - Draco is.  And people lower their guards around me; I get to see what others don't, because I'm a piece of furniture instead of a person.

 

Draco's not quite as bad as the rest of them.  I'm still not a person to him, but at least I'm an animal - a trainable one, like a horse or a dog.  Animals can think.  Animals have feelings.  Animals have souls.

 

But animals don't love the way humans do.  They're devoted, sure, but they're not Aware enough to truly Love.  Sometimes when Draco's obsessing over the next way to get at Potter, I want to scream "look at me!  I'm right here!"  He wouldn't notice.  Too fixated.  I can see why; Potter's small, quick, powerful, and ignores him when possible.  Reminds me of my own situation.

 

Do you know that he never offered me his friendship?  (Draco, I mean.)  Potter got the offer, sure - we even went to *find* him.  Mine has always been assumed.  It's simply understood that I go where he goes.  Although I've never actually called him "friend" either - not out loud.

 

I had to leave.  I hope he understands.  I hope he forgives me.

 

Hell, I hope he notices the difference.

 

At least the Dark Lord treats everyone the same way.  He might treat me badly, but he's just as cruel to Lucius Malfoy, and he's older than me.  Plus he's beautiful, cultured, intelligent, (like his son).  Doesn't matter.  The Lord hates equally.

 

Except, yet again, for Potter.  For Potter, he reserves a special kind of loathing.  He *will* kill him; I can't doubt it after seeing the look in his eyes when the name is mentioned.  Part of me hopes that after He does, He'll have time to pay attention to me.  Draco too.  But I know that won't happen.

 

A second ago, I saw Dad beating his hunting dog.  I set her free after he left, but she came running back, so I had to strangle her.