Title:
Someone Tell Me Why (Love Ridden interlude)
Author: Romie
Archive: anywhere. In fact, I'd appreciate it. Let me know if
it's
convenient.
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: prelude to Harry/Draco. suggestions of Draco/Vince.
Spoilers: none
Disclaimers: Rowling is God. Title is taken from the song
"Teenage FBI" by Guided by Voices.
Warnings: This series features a same-sex romantic pairing, and some off-
camera cruelty to animals (and I promise I'm not talking about beastiality).
Summary: This isn't actually part of the Love Ridden series - not exactly.
But it takes place in the same universe. I mentioned that Crabbe had gone
to join Voldemort, and the bunny *attacked* me in the middle of political
science. It wasn't pretty - it reminded me of
that scene from Holy Grail. This is short, and I *am* working feverishly
on the next *real* episode. Writing for Crabbe was a bit weird because
he's not very verbal, but he's not really stupid either. So he does a lot
of talking between the lines, and uses some muddy language. As we'll
recall Draco mentioning, Crabbe has left Hogwarts to join Voldemort.
Enjoy!
=============================================
Because I'm big, everyone thinks I'm stupid. Sure, I'm not too good with
words - I've never been able to talk as elegantly as Draco, or find clever
comebacks when he yells at me. Neither can Ron Weasley, but nobody calls
him an idiot. (Except Draco, but anyone's dumb compared to him.)
He's tall, he's clumsy . . . but he's not Big the way I am.
People judge you. Greg tried to fight it for a while. He read
dictionaries and classics - Dormer's _The Wizard of Lisbon_, and _Red Chaser_ by
Larsen, and collections of Cobblepot's poetry. Nobody noticed. When
they did, they laughed at him. Figured he was just pretending, or made
jokes that he was trying to learn English.
I gave up a long time ago. Even my folks talk down to me. 'S why
they sent me to Hogwarts instead of Durmstrang like my brothers. Figured I
wasn't smart enough to keep up, 'specially not with the language barrier.
I speak fluent German. Taught myself ages ago; stole my brothers'
textbooks over the summer. Haven't told anyone. 'Fraid they'd treat
me like they did Greg.
I figured out there's a freedom to being a follower. Everyone might
despise me, but I'm never held responsible for my actions - Draco is. And
people lower their guards around me; I get to see what others don't, because I'm
a piece of furniture instead of a person.
Draco's not quite as bad as the rest of them. I'm still not a person to
him, but at least I'm an animal - a trainable one, like a horse or a dog.
Animals can think. Animals have feelings. Animals have souls.
But animals don't love the way humans do. They're devoted, sure, but
they're not Aware enough to truly Love. Sometimes when Draco's obsessing
over the next way to get at Potter, I want to scream "look at me! I'm
right here!" He wouldn't notice. Too fixated. I can see
why; Potter's small, quick, powerful, and ignores him when possible.
Reminds me of my own situation.
Do you know that he never offered me his friendship? (Draco, I mean.)
Potter got the offer, sure - we even went to *find* him. Mine has always
been assumed. It's simply understood that I go where he goes.
Although I've never actually called him "friend" either - not out
loud.
I had to leave. I hope he understands. I hope he forgives me.
Hell, I hope he notices the difference.
At least the Dark Lord treats everyone the same way. He might treat me
badly, but he's just as cruel to Lucius Malfoy, and he's older than me.
Plus he's beautiful, cultured, intelligent, (like his son). Doesn't
matter. The Lord hates equally.
Except, yet again, for Potter. For Potter, he reserves a special kind of
loathing. He *will* kill him; I can't doubt it after seeing the look in
his eyes when the name is mentioned. Part of me hopes that after He does,
He'll have time to pay attention to me. Draco too. But I know that
won't happen.
A second ago, I saw Dad beating his hunting dog. I set her free after he
left, but she came running back, so I had to strangle her.