A: But I really think you need to work on your management style... V: Oh, shut up and let me drink my coffee. ------------------------------------------------------
	ON HOTH: (The Rebel base on Hoth shivers under the relentless Imperial assault; ice and snow are raining down from the ceiling as a squad of snowtroopers storms inside. Vader sweeps in after them and stalks down the deserted corridors, moving with purpose.) ANAKIN: Oh, come on. It was funny. Admit it. VADER: It most certainly was not. A: Don't be such a grumpypants... V: "Eat the yellow snow," you said. "It's good," you said. Right. A: Hey, at least I didn't tell you to eat the brown snow... V: All my troops are probably laughing at me now. A: *chuckles* Yeah, they probably are. But look at it this way: you're leading through laughter. V: I should be leading through terror. A: You know what would get your mind off of this? V: Finding the Rebels and grinding their bones into dust? A: Mmm, close. I was thinking more along the lines of building a snowman. V: A snowman? A: Yeah! Or maybe an ice sculpture. There's plenty to work with around here. V: I think not. A: Okay, then what about some skiing? You saw those mountains back there. Those have gotta have some killer runs. We could round up Veers and some of the guys, head up there, and do a little "shooshing" down the slopes. V: I'm a Sith Lord. Sith Lords do not "shoosh". A: Partypooper. (Vader and the troops approach the Rebel hangar.) A: Wait, I've got it! We could round up all the Rebel prisoners and have a good old-fashioned snowball fight! Rebels against Imperials. V: And give the Rebels a fair chance to assault me? Forget it. A: Well, it wouldn't have to be fair. See, the trick is to hide rocks inside your snowballs. The Rebels wouldn't stand a chance... V: Hmmm. You know, sometimes, I like the way you think. But right now, I've got more pressing matters... (Up ahead, the sounds of laser fire are coming from the hangar. Vader strides in through the entrance just in time to see the Millenium Falcon lift off and roar away, swooping up into the blue sky. He stares after it for several moments.) A: So... (pause) A: Snowman? V: BIG honkin' snowman. A: Right on... ------------------
				ABOARD THE EXECUTOR: (Vader sits in his meditation chamber. An apparatus reaches down and removes his helmet.) VADER: Oh, thank the Force. I've been waiting for this all day...
	(Vader reaches up and begins madly scratching his head with both hands.) V: Oooooooooh, yeah. That's the good stuff... ANAKIN: Easy, man, easy! Watch those scars! They'll never heal if you keep picking at them. V: I can't help it. That helmet itches something fierce! A: It's not the helmet; it's all those hair growth formulas you keep gooping onto your head. And have any of them worked? V: Not yet...but they will! A: Dude, you've been trying to grow that coif back for twenty years. I think it's time to give up. V: Never! One of these days, I'll find one that works. Perfect hair will be mine once again. Oh, yes. home   previous   next