(Vader arrives on the bridge and looks at the assembled bounty hunters.) V: That's...that's it? Six hunters? A: Dude, I told you, you should have offered punch and pie. Would've drawn a much bigger crowd. V: *sighs* Fine, fine. Let's see what I've got to work with. Who's first?
			A: I think his name is Dengar, isn't it? Though "Head-Trauma Boy" would probably be more appropriate. V: True. Those bandages don't exactly speak volumes for his competence, do they? A: And it looks like he's been hitting the pork rinds a little hard. V: Indeed. Hmmm, there's IG-88. Not bad, not bad. A: He's too skinny. V: He's a droid; skinny doesn't matter. A: Sure it does. I bet he used to get picked on by those beefy Super Battle Droids, and this whole bounty-hunting thing is just his means of channelling his repressed rage. V: Somehow, I doubt that. A: You know what he needs, I bet? V: What? A: A hug. I think he'd be right as rain after that. V: I am not hugging the droid. A: No? V: No. A: Alright. Just putting the thought on the table. V: And I'm taking it off the table...and then smashing the table. Who's next- Oh, no. A: Hey, it's Fett! Rock on! V: No, no, no. He's going to screw everything up again. A: What do you mean, again? V: You remember that scavenger hunt Palpatine threw a couple of years back? And he put me and Fett on the same team...? A: Oh, yeah! And you had to go looking for things like a bald Ewok, a toenail from a dewback, and- V: And a Hutt who could speak Basic, among other things. And Fett thought it'd be easier - instead of lugging that Hutt all the way back - to disintegrate it and carry its ashes back in a little baggie. "Same difference," he said. And what happened?
					A: You...got disqualified. V: And we lost...to Snaggletooth. A: Well- V: Snaggletooth!
	A: Well, just make sure to remind him not to do it again. V: I'll do that - not that it'll help. Now, who else...? Ah, Zuckuss and 4-LOM. A: Which is which? V: I don't know; I keep mixing them up. And that must be Bossk. He looks decently ferocious, doesn't he? Maybe- Oh, for the love of all that's holy, will you look at that? A: What? V: Barefoot! He is barefoot on my bridge! I'm not running a damn commune here! A: It's going to take forever to polish those footprints off the floor... V: Alright, okay, I can deal with this. I've worked with worse than these. A: Not much worse... (Vader starts to walk up the line of bounty hunters.) V: (aloud) There will be a substantial reward for the one who finds the Millenium Falcon. You are free to use any methods necessary, but I want them alive. (He raises a warning finger at Boba Fett.) No disintegrations. FETT: As you wish. home   previous   next