(Vader's hand gets closer.)
A: Hurry!
(Just as Vader's finger is about to touch the "stop" button, the turbolift door opens onto the Emperor's throne room.)
A: Well...crapola.
-----------------------
(Vader, Luke, and the Emperor are in the throne room, looking out the windows as the battle between the two fleets rages outside.)
EMPEROR: (to Luke) As you can see, my young apprentice, your friends have failed. Now witness the firepower of this fully-armed and operational battlestation! (He taps a key on his arm-rest.) Fire at will, commander.
ANAKIN: Aw, man! Not Will! He's a cool guy! What'd he ever do to deserve-
VADER: *sighs* No, it's not Will, it's will. You know, like desire or discretion?
A: Ohhhhhh. See, that makes sense now. Here, I've always thought there were just a bunch of guys named Will getting themselves blasted all over the galaxy.
V: You're an idiot. You do realize that, don't you?
(The Death Star fires and destroys a Rebel ship.)
A: Yowch. They actually got it working.
V: Didn't I tell Jerjerrod that I'd find new ways to motivate his workers?
A: Yeah, you did. And I have to admit that seminar you gave was pretty informative. But, c'mon, $39.95 for your book, Seven Steps to a Less-Strangled You? That's outrageous!
V: I have to cover my expenses, you know. Stylish sweaters and khaki pants aren't cheap, especially in my size.
A: I suppose. And that sweater did suit you.
V: You think so? I was going for "avuncular".
A: With just a sprinkle of homicidal menace?
V: Of course. I think I'll make the seminar a part of every base inspection I make around the galaxy. Ooh! Ooh! And then I can take the money and do an infomercial! I'll hire some washed-up celebrity to co-host and-
A: Whoa, slow it down, chief. Your get-rich-quick schemes always fall apart in the end. Remember Vader-O's?
V: Hey, there was nothing wrong with Vader-O's.
A: Oh, please.
V: They were a delicious and nutritious part of a healthy breakfast! It's not my fault the little brats didn't want to eat them.
A: The cereal had little marshmallow Vader helmets that turned the milk black! Black, for crying out loud! It was like drinking oil!
V: But they were Vader-ific!
A: If you say so.
(pause)
V: Threepio got his own cereal...
A: Oh, stop pouting.
----------------------------
(Luke, Vader, and the Emperor are in the throne room watching the Rebel fleet battling outside.)
EMPEROR: Your fleet is lost, and your friends on the Endor moon will not survive. There is no escape, my young apprentice. The Alliance will die...as will your friends.
(Luke looks to Vader then at the lightsaber sitting on the Emperor's arm-rest.)
EMPEROR: Good, I can feel your anger. I am defenseless. Take your weapon. Strike me down with all of your hatred and your journey towards the dark side will be complete.
(Luke hesitates.)
ANAKIN: Dude, he's going to go for it.
VADER: So?
A: So?! What's that supposed to mean?
V: Just that I'm not seeing a down side here. I mean, if Luke strikes down Palpatine, he and I can rule the galaxy as father and son just like I wanted to in the first place.
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