Title: Advice to the Lovelorn Author: Divapilot
	Dear Sis, Hi. How are you? I am fine. How are Mom and Dad? I hope they are fine. I like my new job here on the Wild Karrde. Mr. Karrde is nice, and he lets me work with all this cool equipment. I never imagined back home when I sliced into the school records for you and your friends that this would be a future career path. I have been using all the tricks that we thought up, and I’ve had an opportunity to think up more. We go to lots of really cool places. This one time I got to go planetside for a while and do some “creative programming.” That’s what Mr. Karrde called it when I rewrote remote-detonation code. I like the people I work with a lot. They are nice. Usually they let me mess with the equipment and stuff (as long as I stay out of the weaponry), so I don’t have to bother them for things to do. I think they like me. They keep ruffling my hair and saying stuff like, “Good job, kid.” Sis, I have a question. There is a girl here, and she’s wicked pretty. So I was wondering if you knew what girls like, because you’re a girl and all. Write back soon. Love, your little bro, Ghent PS. Don’t tell Mom and Dad anything about the girl. ------------------------------------------------------- ----------- Dear Sis, Thanks for the letter. I am fine. How are you? How are Mom and Dad? I hope they are fine. Everything is going really well here. We are doing some work for these people, but it’s secret, so if I told you, I’d have to kill you and all. Ha ha - just kidding. But it really is secret, and I’m not supposed to tell you, or else. Things are really exciting. I got to do some “aggressive programming.” That’s what Mr. Karrde called it when I rewired the escape hatches while he shot at the guys that wanted to stop us. Don’t worry, because it wasn’t really a big deal. It was just a variation on the code I used when I rewired the beverage machines at school to dispense twice as much as the containers could hold whenever a teacher entered an access number. Remember the girl I told you about? She’s so pretty. She’s got red hair - kind of like the color of your pet haminster. How is good old Mr. Wiggles, anyway? I tried that idea you suggested about leaving a stuffed animal by her door. She had been out all night with the other guys at a big party. (They asked me to go, but I had just gotten some cool code, so I said thanks but no thanks.) She went to bed way late, so I left the big stuffed bantha outside her cabin door. She found it when she tripped over it the next morning. Boy, that girl can swear. I’m kind of glad I didn’t put my name on it. Any other ideas? Write back soon. Love, your little bro, Ghent PS. Don’t tell Mom and Dad about the party. --------------------------------------------------------- Dear Sis, Hi. I am fine. How are you? How are Mom and Dad? Hope everyone is fine. Sorry to hear about Mr. Wiggles. He was a fine haminster. We are really busy with that secret stuff I told you about. There are lots of people here that are working with us, but I can’t tell you who they are. They are doing some stuff that involves really high-tech equipment. It is so cool. This one time I got to do some “inspired hardware reconfiguration.” That’s what Mr. Skywalker called it when I rebuilt the navcomputer console after he accidentally hit it with his lightsaber when the other guys tried to take over the ship. I wrote that poem for that girl I told you about. I had a wicked hard time rhyming it. I couldn’t find anything to rhyme with “upgrade”, but I could rhyme “software” with “soft hair.” I think it came out nice. I left it for her on the pilot’s seat. I hope she sits there next and not that Lando guy. He came on our ship when his ship got boarded, and he brought some of his contraband (like brandy) with him. home   previous   next