| What I've learned while in Akron: |
| 1. There are no functioning clocks in Akron. 2. It rains every Friday in Akron. 3. Akron is like a toddler: They like to take things apart and never put them back together again. 4. Everyone who drives on Route 8 is an asshole. 5. You really can get anywhere on campus in fifteen minutes...if you sprint. 6. No matter what the situation, Spicer Hall will not be helpful. 7. No matter what the situation, Spicer Hall no longer exists. 8. There is one water temperature in Akron. It's luke-warm-hot-cold. 9. A sock on the door does not necessarily mean it isn't safe to enter. However, a lack of one does not necessarily mean it is. 10. Freudian slips are most embarrassing when repeated. 11. Akron is one of the few places in the Northern Hemisphere where your room is 95 degrees in January and 20 degrees in August. 12. Akron is not nearly as flat as it should be. 13. No CD in Akron works. 14. All romantic fantasies in Akron involve the twelfth floor of the Polymer Building. 15. Deciding which elevator to take could be a life and death decision. |