| Memorable quotes in the life of Jamie... Many of these you have seen on my updates... *Mom- "Double click. That's click, click, right?" *Dad- "Andrew Frank Lloyd Webber Wright?" "Cargo goose!" *Beckie- "Just be glad I haven't asked you if you've gotten any yet." *Bethany- "What? I didn't say damn with an 'n'!" *Steven- "The hardest part is leaving the driveway." *Michael- "Yes, but when the rabbit talks back, there is a problem." "Peace out homey." "There is a semi in front of me, there is a semi behind me, there is a semi on my right, and on my left is a concrete barrier. If you want to get to King's Island alive, I suggest you shut the hell up!" "I bet you could throw a cow!" "I love you Jamie. Not in a gay way, but like a viking." "As I was breaking up with her, I felt my balls becoming reattached." "How many times do you have to snort before something becomes a quote?" "It's the small things that excite me...like you :o)" *Michael, Seth- "Beaver!!!" *Laura- "That fills me with righteous indignation." "I like death; I just like death on my terms." "I'm young, I'm stupid, I'm yours." *Me- "Paul, don't ever run your finger across my chest and say 'James Taylor' ever again" "What the cluck?" "I don't drink, I don't drive. What are the odds I'm going to do both in the same night?" "Michael....no." (just for the immense number of times I've had to say it) "I think Beth just shut her boob in the window." *Mr. Templeton- "You guys have a long, long way to go." "Yeah, but you guys actually listen to me." I can't quote it, it's a visual. So ask me about T drawing the map to Luigi's. *Amanda- "Do you get it, Michelle?!" "I can remember the first day of kindergarten when I was standing on the corner of Fairview and 84 waiting for the bus with my gingerbread nametag that said 'Amanda Matousek, 7773 Fairview Avenue,' standing next to my best kindergarten friend whose name was Shaun Woolard and whose phone number was 974-8861, but I can't do calculus!!!" "I hate you the least." *Bill- "It's an outlet for creativity, and it keeps them from loitering at Arby's. That shit's necessary!" "Who took my Cuervo?" "God damn right." "We're theatre people. We don't have to be logical." "So, do you snort when you orgasm?" "For your next audition, Steve, I want you to say 'Be vewy vewy quiet. I'm hunting wabbits.' Good, now stop taking Rogaine for six months and you're in!" "Nothing's sacred." "Shushi." *Matt- "By the end of their sophomore year, engineering students begin to resemble refugees: they're always cold, tired, and hungry." "There was powder in the envelope!" "Squirrels are the scourge of suburbia." "For future reference in your career: If a show is horribly bad the last time you rehearse it, it will not get miraculously better when you perform it." *Dan- "Fabulous." *Bryan- "We practically slept together!" *Nathan- "He's twelve?! I thought he was five!" *Mike Herman- "I live here." "Vagiclean?" *Leah Garrett- "I'm going to be a little late, Mom, because there are cows in the road." *Pat- "I'd like my steak rare. Hell, just ride the cow to the table." "Corn!!!" *Michelle- "I don't know!" "J-J-Jamie fell down." *Katie- "Crall right zy b." *Alex J. Nine- "You got me a dancer?!" *Becca- "Shitcheese!" *Jack L. Herman- "Energy energy energy energy!" "Follow my eyes with your finger." (the fail proof DUI test from the cop himself) "What? I don't see what's funny." *Greg- "Oh, hi Mom. Dad." "You don't know 'feign' but you know 'visceral'?!" "So the minute Jamie puts the toothpick in her breast, she starts in on this southern drawl..." (points to 18-foot fire-engine red ladder) "Yes, they lost that!" Greg skipping the entire plot twist in Veronica's Room the night we taped. *John- "Dude, beep when you back up." *Sarah Brown- "You're all sorts of done." *Nick- "Some of you are doing this Sarah Brown..." "Think tapeworm." *Lauren- "It says Quebec. Celine Dion is Canadian. Oh." "I'm not going! You can't make me!" "I can see my house from here!" "Frog in a tree!" *G.A.- "Predictable, but charming. That's me." "...barreling through it like a monkey on crack..." "I'll give you a hint. (grabs a drunken Bill's crotch) This is real. (grabs own crotch) This is real. (grabs bottle of Cuervo hidden under Mia's dress in the crotch area) This is not." "She's Valium with legs." "...lather your ass with a stick of butter..." *Elliott- "You're not short. You're space efficient." "I mean, this guy actually liked you, Jamie, and that may not happen again." *Charles- "That ain't right." *Jimothy- "You got to pay the toll." *Vince Patton- "I'm thinking about milking cows." *Steve- "I work at a place called Theatre 8:15. Nothing starts on time." "That kid's never gonna get laid." *Vince Stillitano.- "I like sacks." *Jeff Holland- "Piss on a biscuit!" "I've done over fifty shows in the last three years, and I have no life." *Beth- "Put two overdramatic people in a snowstorm and you get provisions." "Seven thirty o'clock." "So does he still not have a finger?" *Matt, Jon, Rob, Dave (and me)- "Good Christian Men are Jewish." *Robbie- "Everyone who drives on Route 8 is an asshole." "So here she is, this old lady in her power wheelchair, evading the cops..." *Justin- "Flowers!" "I feel cute." *Mia- "Fuck me with a chicken!" "It's not named after Sam Houston. It's named after Jesus! Son of a bitch!" "Hungarian as fuckin' goulash." "NO no NO no NO no no, no no no, Alex, no!" "And she was off like a prom dress." "...her red stockings, and her party shoes." *Marty- "Bowflex, NOW!!!" "Word." "Vocabulary. Vertical. To your mater." *Jim Volkert- "Shit." "Bishop of Babystoke" "Bishop of Babystroke" "Bishop of Babblebrook" "Bishop of Basilstokes" "Bishop of Artichoke" "Well, what the hell is his goddamn name?!" *Mary's Steve- "Chocolate is bad, right?" *Henry Bishop- "Look behind Bill's ass." *Brent- "You mean a shopping cart?" "Is Bill Gates bangable?" "..sweet-ass man pecs." "I'd break that shit in half!" *Jenna Messina- "I love me!" *Adam- "Ta." *Jim McCormack- "Objection you honor! He's leading the witless!" *Brian Etchell- "Everybody knows that Leo Frank is innocent. (beat, beat) Guilty." "Jesus Christ on a stick!" *Rob- "Christscicle?" *Tod- "Can anybody hear me? Thank you Jamie." *Ryan- "Girls, girls. You're both pretty, you're both going to the prom." "Cindi, I'm GAY! G-A-Y, gay!" *Colin- "What the hell is this, a petting zoo?" "That sounds just downright unhealthy." "Fuck you later." (slow motion)"...but they do get pulled over." *Ian- "There are bagels in the fridge, but the toaster doesn't work. And there are eggs, but the stove doesn't work. There's butter pecan ice cream in the freezer..." *Random Guy at King's Island- "What's the point of these fences? They bend!" *Random Woman at Kiss Me Kate- "Wow, there are a lot of songs in this show." *Random Guy at Mandy Patinkin concert- "Was that from Scarface?" |