STORKMAN, born Anthony Eva Maria Tutticoglioni, started his life on the cold streets of Weehawken, New Jersey as an orphan. He cried alot and pined for lime jello but those damn nuns would always say, "No! No bastard child of Christ! Did Jesus, savior and all mighty eat Jello on the cross? Did he abandon you like your whore mother? Did he break up Van Halen? Well?! Bastard child? Well?!"      Tony had no answer but did have a solution. He left. Then burnt down the nunary. And got some Jello snacks. And a Mr. Pib.      Tony ventured forth into the bleak future. At one point he found himself working for the Sanitation Department, Staten Island Division. Tony thought he had finally made it. He could afford a cold water flat in Mineola, Long Island, had enough for the LIRR, and could even take out his girlfriend, Maria, a Spanish Harlem midget whore, for Chinese at Mr. Chinks two nights a month. He loved their Mongolian Cat.       One day on the barge, hauling industrial waste from NY General Hospital to the subarbs of Staten Island, he went up to the captains cabin to ask if he could take his luch break. The captain was dead. This sucked because the captain drives the barge. Well you don't need to be told what happened next.
The barge when out of control and grounded itself upon some sand bars off of Jone's Beach. Tony was thrown from the captain's quarters and landed within the refuse, and fell into a deep coma. The last thing Tony remembered was the sound of Maria the Spanish Harlem midget whore eating Mongolian Cat at Mr. Chinks and the sqauking of Storks above his head.      As he came to Tony couldn't remember anything. He dug his way out of the garbage and tried to walk, but to his amazement he could not. It would seem that some of the murcury laden refuge had given Tony a palsy. In a panic Tony tried as hard as he could to walk, but could only hobble around on one leg, arms flailing and make strange gargling noises from his disfigured larnix. This chaotic dance attracted millions of male storks that inhibit the shoreline, and as they raped Tony repeatedly throughout the night because of this estraged mating dance Tony could only wonder what Maria the Spanish Harlem Midget whore would be ordering from Mr Chinks tomorrow night.      In the morning a transformation had occourred. Tony had the ability to stand on one leg perfectly still. And his penis had nearly quadrupled in size. Tony, only remembering Maria the Spanish Harlem Midget Whore went to Mr. Chinks knowing she would be there.      And there he found her.      He took her back to her Spanish Harlem Midget whore brothel and made crazy bird love to her. Unfortunately the sheer girth of his super enhanced stork penis pierced her Spanish Harlem Midget whore heart and she died that night.      That night Tony also died and Storkman was born.      Storman, distrut and alone in the world, wandered the streets for a long time and eventually wound up in Van Nuys California making Snuff films in the early seventies. Eventually Storkman went into business for him self trying to use his Super Stork Stiffie for good. He met Sparrow through an ad he put out for an assistant and the rest they say is history. The Costodian of Records is located at 47799 Van Nuys Blvd, Van Nuys, Ca. 90048.