I had a good intro, then I decided it sucked so you're stuck with this until I think of something better. I don't know, I thought it would be a moot point to complain about the movies or the game. I'm going to do this little shrine as if I'm either ignorant to the series or as if I haven't seen any of the movies in a long time. Damn, I'm such a good actor.

You start on Elm Street, where even while you're awake, rocks fall from the sky and you can make bats, rats, snakes, and zombies disappear into smoke just by punching them. So walk to the right and look for an open door...

Generally, the game is very random about the order you're allowed to enter the first 3 houses. Too bad the last few times I've played the game, this theory was totally shattered. Ah well. If you think so far it's weird, it's about to get a lot worse...
...the whole point of this game is to go from house to house collecting Freddy's bones. I guess it could be worse, I don't know how though. The pic on the right should be the more interesting of the 2 I guess. Get that little running man icon and in the dream state (more on this later), you can turn into a spear throwing acrobat. I don't think I've EVER had a dream about being an acrobat, so at least the lack of realism requirement is filled right there. Moving on, in the same fashion that made me appreciate Castle Of Dragon so much, keep moving to the right. And keep picking up bones (little reminder for the short attention span crowd).

(Cheesy Nintendo publication mode ON) Oh no! You've fallen asleep! (Cheesy Nintendo publication mode OFF) Now is when all the weirdos turn crazy. Looks like something didn't translate from cart to rom for this screenshot: the Wayne's World brand of wavy lines to signify a dream sequence. Oh well.

In his dream, rats walk upright. And spiders turn into...bigger spiders with human heads. What a dork.

Want to have a rockin' good time on Elm Street? All you need is a penchant for having nightmares and a radio!..oh and you have to NOT be playing this game. But if you are, you'd be happy to know that if you touch the radio, music your parents hate in all of its 8-bit sound glory will bring you out of the dream state.

And when you take too many hits, you turn into an angel and fly away. But you'll be back to continue moving to the right and punching vermin.
Move far enough to the right and you'll come to your first involuntary dream sequence, otherwise known as a boss battle. Your first boss: um, a giant claw. How to beat it? Become an acrobat and throw spears at it (no, you're not reading Game Player's, I really just typed that. I meant just jam on the B button).
Beat the boss and you'll get a key and several thousands of points will fly up into the air, eventually landing on the scoreboard, and you wake up and find youself in front of the house you came in, ready to do battle in another one.
This is what house #2 is like, regardless of which of the remaining 2 houses you can enter. Little dream warrior (as I believe one of the movies was also named, sans little) icons are scattered about for you to pick up if you happen to be one of those hotshot Nintendo kids who thought you can beat the game without them. I guess you could, but it would be nice if you actually HAD to pick them up again. But what do I know? I bought this game. So keep walking to the right (what an age we live in where we have games whose objective involves walking in one direction) and collecting bones. Soon enough the squiggly line guarding the staircase in the pic on the right will disappear and you'll be able to walk up (yes, you heard right, up! No! not right! Up!) into the attic...
Where the nifty MIDI you're listening to came from. Actually, this particular rendition of the attic music came from theVideo Game Music Archive, but that's beside the point. Walk eastward (right, if you haven't been paying attention) and you'll come across boss #2...
A giant head with a detachable snake body...or something. Whatever. I don't care. I'm tired and I have an 8 a.m. class tomorrow. So jam on the B button long enough and you know what happens next. So go to the next, and final (for now) house.
And here's house #3. Walk to the right, grab them bones, and here's something interesting: the other 2 Dream Warrior icons. Pick them up because you'll need them soon. No, I don't give a shit if you're one of those hotshot Nintendo kids, I'd have kicked your ass too. No, wait, people kicked MY ass. Forget it.

Plop.

After some right-walking, bone collecting, down-moving, right-walking, and (gasp!) bone collecting, you'll come across this character. As you can see, I decided to make use of my newfound ninja skills to dispose of it. Now on to some more exotic locations along Elm Street.

Let's all thank LJN for pointing out that this IS, in fact, a junkyard. "Stage 4" would have been sufficient, put some graphics guy decided to go above and beyond for you, the player. Now, get ready for...oh just scroll down.
ONLY in video games can this be a junkyard. Do what you know best here...Eventually you'll come to a point similar to the center and right pics. Again, do what you know best.
Some magazine I have said about this pic, "It wouldn't be a nightmare without a trip to the cemetery." How right they were, how right they were. Once I had a nightmare that I was a 2-dimensional character and all I could do is walk to the right, wait...oh no, I was just playing this game at 2 a.m.
Right-walking, bone collecting craziness ensues in the cemetery....
...and then this. B button jamming gets you through this. Don't worry or click back just yet...it's about to get interesting...

That's right, kiddies, it's Freddy's house, or as LJN game play counselors so eloquently put it to a friend of mine, "That's Freddy's pad, man!"
"Freddy's pad" gives you a chance to walk to the right for a really long time. Long enough for this to happen...

Come on, if this didn't happen, the game and movies would have to have been called "A Nightmare On Street" and that's not good.
You'd think that because this is Freddy, it would take more than B button jamming to beat him, but no, that might be why nothing special happens either.
After more right-walking, bone collecting, blah, blah, blah, you FINALLY reach the boss, the revisiting snake head and claw from houses 2 and 3. Double your pleasure and double your nightmare fun by jamming on the B button twice as fast and twice as often as usual. All this finger cramping fun eventually leads you to...

And this is the final stage, Elm Street High School, the only high school shittier than either of the two I wasted 4 years at. Prepare for a lot of right-walking and B button jamming inside. If I held your attention for this long, you shouldn't have THAT much trouble getting through this....good luck!

Do I need counseling? Tell me...
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