172 Ways To Tell
You Are a Ben&Meg Addict
by Joanna & B&M Fans
 

In 1998 I left Poland for two weeks which also meant leaving the show and Ben and Meg behind. I missed them horribly and to do anything to make myself feel better I sat down one day with a pen in my hand and poured my heart out thinking of all the wonderful emotions that the two of them evoke in me and the way they've changed my life. Down there, you'll find the result of that one sitting as well as the newest entries. You may have problems following some of the ways, though - they include ben-meg-lovers' in-jokes.

Since the order isn't important there isn't one! But there ARE 172 ways! Enjoy!!!

And remember -- this is for FUN. It's not serious!


    #    You cried when Ben and Meg first kissed.
    #    You cried when Ben asked Meg to marry him.
    #    You cried when Ben and Meg made love for the first time. And the second.
    #    You're   # close to tears
                                        # deeply touched
                                        # are smiling happily
            when Ben and Meg:
                                        # kiss
                                        # touch each other
                                        # say "I love you"
                                        # make love
    #    Your first choice for your first son's name is "Ben".
    #    Your first choice for your first daughter's name is "Meg".
    #    You are the last person to name your children "Derek" or "Annie". Or "Tim" for that matter.
    #    You will never, EVER call your daughter "Maria".
    #    In fact whenever you hear name "Maria" pronounced you wanna throw up.
    #    If you were on Mariah the other night five years ago you'd have made sure Maria REALLY drowned. I  mean  REALLY.
    #    You call Annie "Green-Eyed Monster" ( Ben's very words ) or "Read-Headed Nightmare" (dr McCray's ) or "Orphan Annie"
          (ben-meg-lover's).
    #    You constantly demand of your boyfriend to address you in a British accent.
    #    His telling you "I love you" in an accent other than British is out of the question.
    #    Little Mary Sunshine actually sounds like a compliment to you.
    #    Whenever asked about favorite song you say: "Beyond the Sunset".
    #    Whenever asked to quote your favorite poem you recite " Where Does This Tenderness Come From?".
    #    You think Lord Byron is the greatest poet ever.
    #    White roses have become your favorite flowers.
    #    Strawberries have become your favorite fruit.
   #    Blue and black have become your favorite colors.
    #    Suddenly country is on top of your list of music genres.
    #    Venice has become the most romantic city in the world to you.
    #    Whenever anyone mentions Robert Frost to you you say: "Yeah, right, he wrote that poem bout the yellow wood and the
          road that Meg Cummings went...".
    #    You are regularly taping each and every one Ben and Meg scene.
    #    You are constantly re-watching those Ben and Meg tapes.
    #    You know all your Ben and Meg recordings by heart.
    #    When woken up in the middle of the night you can quote any of Ben and Meg's conversations without one single slip of
          a tongue.
    #    You wish every "Ben" and "Meg" in the world were together.
    #    To fall in love like Ben and Meg is the dream of your life.
    #    You asked your town's mayor if he would authorize building  a replica of Sunset Beach's pier in your  town. So what that you
          live in the mountains?
    #    You've learned how to dance Texas Two-Step.
    #    You're thinking of starting your own club and calling it:
                                        # The Deep
                                        # Java Web
                                        # Buckaroo
    #    You've petitioned your Town's Council to change the name of the street you live on to Ocean Drive.
    #    On-Line you're using one of those nicks:
                                        # Dorothy From Kansas
                                        # Corngirl
                                        # Meg
                                        # Little Mary Sunshine
            or:
                                        # S.B.
                                        # Ben
                                        # Prince Of Darkness
            or
                                        # LuvBenMeg
                                        # BenMegForever
    #    Ever since you've tuned into the pilot you've been wanting to shuck Ben like an ear of corn
    #    You've counted the times Ben told Meg he loved her
    #    You've counted the times Meg told Ben she loved him
    #    You've counted the times Ben and Meg kissed
    #    You've counted the times Ben and Meg made love
    #    You're constantly drunk as you're part of a drinking game and have a sip every time Ben and Meg do  one of the above
    #    You know Kansas twang when you hear one.
    #    In fact you wish you could imitate it
    #    You asked your mother to call you "Honey". You call her "Mom".
    #    You've asked your boyfriend to take up Italian or French lessons. Preferably both.
    #    You think watering is the greatest job in the world.
    #    You definitely prefer sunsets to sunrises.
    #    You wish Clive and Susan were in love.
    #    If you ever met Ben and Meg you'd told them: "I love you both. Heart and soul. You have every part of me."
    #    You'd say exactly the same thing to Clive and Susan.
    #    Each night you're having a Ben and Meg dream.
    #    Sometimes you're Ben/Meg in those dreams.
    #    You're spending/saving every penny to make your house look like the Evans Residence.
    #    You never loved Bette more than the moment she told Ben to lose Maria's portrait.
    #    The day Ben got rid of that damn portrait you threw up the party to celebrate that.
    #    You think E-Mail is the most romantic kind of the letter in the world.
    #    You think Internet is the most romantic medium in the world.
    #    When your history teacher asks you about the" Declaration Of Independence" you quote Meg's Declaration Of Independence.
    #    When your history teacher asks you about the most profound event in the history of mankind you say: "When Ben met Meg".
    #    You know by heart all the letters Ben sent to Meg to win her back.
    #    When your friend buys you a parrot/canary for your birthday you take it back to the store and ask if  you can exchange it for
          the phoenix.
    #    When you activate your computer it tells you: "I've fallen in love with you, Meg. I love you"
    #    When you turn off your computer it tells you: "I love you, Ben. Heart and soul. You have every part of me."
    #    Every year on the day Sunset Beach premiered in your country it is your Ben and Meg day and a reason for celebration.
    #    You have one word for wearing skirts/dresses that ride up one's butt: "pathetic".
    #    You pray to God Ben wasn't one of the triplets.
    #    The answer to who is the most romantic couple in the world is so obvious to you that you are at a loss for words when asked
          that and when you regain your speech abilities you suggest to the person who asked you that to have his head checked for
          tumors or DNA code for genetic flaws.
    #    Whenever asked  about the hottest/most beautiful/ sexiest/ most handsome/sweetest/mostcompassionate/ etc.
          actor/actress/character you don't even bother to reply. Maybe they should have their heads/DNA codes double checked.
          You're sure the lab messed up the results.
    #    You're in the middle of legal proceedings to change your name to Evans/Cummings.
    #    The top three places you plan to go to before you die are:
                                        # Seal "Sunset" Beach, California
                                        # Venice, Italy ( been there,  done it, seen it )
                                        # Ludlow, Kansas
    #    Riding through Paris in a red convertible with the wind blowing through your hair is also among your  "must do before I kick
          the bucket" priorities.
    #    You leave your backpack unattended in all kinds of places ( preferably beach ) hoping someone would steal it from you.
    #    You had the legend of Sunset Beach carved in stone and hanged on the wall in your room.
    #    The first thing you see when you open your eyes in the morning are Ben and Meg smiling to you from the poster-size print
          out of the picture you found on Internet.
    #    You've tracked down and saved each and every Ben/Meg/Clive/Susan picture available on the Net.
    #    You have read each and every piece of Ben and Meg Fan Fiction available on the Net.
    #    You have even tried your own hand at writing Ben and Meg Fan Fiction.
    #    You have each and every Ben and Meg web page bookmarked.
    #    You're hitting your bookmarked Ben and Meg pages at least once a week. Usually once a day.
    #    You're constantly pouring your heart out about Ben and Meg on at least one Message Board.
    #    The very idea of Ben and Meg being broken up ( permanently ) is beyond your capacity of even  thinking of. The saying:
          "When Hell Freezes Over" is not applicable here as even if that happens Ben and Meg will stay together forever.
    #    As far as you are concerned if TPTB ever decide to break Ben and Meg up they may as well cancel the show .
    #    You NEVER mispronounce "Ben and Meg" as "Men and Meg" or "Ben and Beg".
    #    The name "Ben" or "Meg" pronounced in isolation somehow just doesn't sound right to you.
    #    You UTTERLY HATE an episode without Ben and Meg. It makes you miserable and your day dull and empty. You wish it
          ended as soon as possible so that you could watch the next episode WITH Ben and Meg.
    #    Watching the scenes with any other story line/character besides Ben and Meg's you are counting down seconds till the
          scene fades to black hoping that in the next one you'll see your beloved couple.
    #    As far as you are concerned the TPTB may as well lose all the other characters so that Sunset Beach would focus entirely
          on Ben and Meg.
    #    Because the above scenario seems highly improbable you wish that the TPTB would at least give us an episode dedicated
          exclusively to Ben and Meg.
    #    There's no such thing as your favorite Sunset Beach's episode. Every Sun's episode with Ben and Meg in it is your favorite
          one.
    #    You have never, EVER skipped an episode with Ben and Meg in it, and if you have you sold/will sell your mother to get a
          tape.
    #    You kinda wish Clive and Susan would lose their significant other and got together. Libby and Joe can always hook up, you
          know...
    #    You are not gonna settle for anything less than wedding in Venice!!!
    #    In fact you're constantly fantasizing about Ben and Meg's wedding.
    #    You cannot wait to see Ben's expression when Meg tells him she's pregnant with his child.
    #    You also cannot wait to see Meg having Ben's children - as long as they're NOT twins!!!
    #    You will never forget the moment you saw Ben and Meg for the first time - your heart missed a beat and then stopped as you
          held your breath and tears filled your eyes for you realized you'd just fallen in love at first sight.
    #    You  love Ben for who he really is and thus prove to him that his dreams were NOT false.
    #    When someone ( who apparently lives on Mars ) asks you who are Ben and Meg you reply: "My family".
    #    Whenever Tim mentioned for the thousandth time that Ben is:
                                        # a bad news for Meg
                                        # is going to hurt Meg
                                        # killed his wife and will kill Meg
          you just moaned: "For God's sake, WHY DON'T YOU JUST SHUT UP FOR A CHANGE?!!!".
    #    Whenever Green-Eyed Monster makes another Kansas related joke about Meg you consider hiring a  private tutor to broaden
          her horizons and change her repertoire. It's worth to spend your last penny so she can get a clue.
    #    During the time Red-Headed Nightmare plotted against Ben and Meg you tried to contact Eddie Connors so that he would
          help you contract a professional assassin to rid Sunset Beach of her.
    #    Later you tried to contact directly the source to hire an assassin for Eddie, too, as he teamed up with  Derek, stupid
          %&!!!@%#.
    #    Because you were unable/couldn't afford to hire the assassin in both cases you spent all the time in  between Sun's
          episodes  coming up with 1000 ways how to kill Annie/Eddie "quickly, painfully and permanently". These include:
                                        # pulling Annie's hair one by one
                                        # breaking her/his bloody neck
                                        # stabbing her/him in the back with a hatchet
                                        # cracking her not so perfect manicure
                                         ( I am waiting for suggestions )
    #    All of the above applies to Tim, too.
    #    It does not, however apply to Maria as everybody knows that this spawn of Satan cannot be killed in any conventional or
          unconventional way ( boating accident is absolutely out of the question ). You're  thinking, then, about contacting the God
          Almighty himself and ask him for personal intervention.
    #    You pray to God that the TPTB would just give Ben and Meg a break and let them enjoy a couple of months of perfect
          happiness, undisturbed by Read-Headed Nightmares, former fiancees, twins ( or triplets for that matter), shockwaves, "Stay
          Dead Marias", other people's children and whatever else they're constantly coming up with.
    #    Before you lay your head on a pillow, you pray:
                                        # "Shut up, Tim"
                                        # "Rotten at the bottom of the ocean, Derek."
                                        # "Get a clue, Annie"
                                        # "Stay dead, Maria".
    #    There are times when you just sit down, play Ben and Meg's musicand ponder about them. A scene after scene flashes in
          your mind. A gesture. A smile. A word. And suddenly... when one of these images  pictures in your mind you fell that
          SOMETHING in your stomach. As if a cramp, but a pleasant one. Just for a fleeting second. And then, it's gone. But it was
          wonderful
    #    You are a member of Ben&Meg Together Forever E-mail group.
    #    You are also a member of Clive Robertson Estrogen Brigade. Close enough.
    #    You call Tim "Moron".
    #    You call Maria "Mutt"
    #    "When Meg Met Ben" by The Ladies Of The Round Table is like a bible to you. You've printed it and had it bound in leather
           and you keep it by your bed. You know at least the hot fragments by heart.
    #    The above applies to "The Fugitives" as well.
    #    Kerrigan named you.
    #    When someone mentions
                                        #   Prince Of Darkness
                                        #   Mr. Skeptic
                                        #   Mr. Wonderful
                                        #   Walks-On-Water Man
                                #   Big Guy
                                        #   Mr. Ordinary Man
           you think of Ben
    #    When someone mentions
                                        #   Cock-Eyed Optimist
                                        #   Sleeping Beauty
                                        #   Muffin
           you think of Meg
    #    When the TPTB put you and Ben&Meg back into misery you:
                                        #    buy another ugly hat
                                        #    search the stores for another Ben&Meg song
                                        #    get drunk and call NBC and insult whoever the hell picks up the phone
                                        #    write an awfully wonderful story which ridicules the TPTB and their sick ideas
                                        #    do an update on your Ben&Meg Page
                                        #    pour your heart out writing Ben&Meg poetry or fanfiction
                                        (waiting for suggestions)
    #    You voted for Ben&Meg in the SOD ballot this year.
    #    You will vote next year and every other year till the end of your life
    #    You are there whenever Clive and Susan chat live on-line
    #    You ask them the most embarrassing questions, e.g.:
                                        #    How good a kisser is Clive on the scale from 1 to 10, Susan?
                                        #    How is it to shot the love scenes? As hot as it looks on screen?
                                        #    Clive, will you marry me?
                                        #    Clive, will you tell Mutt to come back to her watery grave?
                                        #    When will we see another love scene?
          You get the idea.
    #    You are gathering Ben&Meg songs to make your own CD of them.
    #    You refer to Ben&Meg as Mr. and Mrs. Evans. You don't give a damn about "legal" issue.
    #    You waged war over Clive on Ben&Meg Together Forever E-mail Group. You were in the European  "Ben IS Ours So Forget
          It" Alliance  or the Yankee "We Saw Him First" Pact.
    #    You reluctantly agreed to armistice
    #    You are making your damnest sure you'd take part in the Sun Convention for the sole reason of seeing Clive&Susan
    #    You chat with other Ben&Meg fans in the #JavaWeb Chatroom
    #    You've met your best friends on-line. They're all Ben&Meg fans.
    #    You're posting on all kinds of  Message Boards making sure that everyone hears LOUD and CLEAR that:
                                        #    Ben&Meg are together forever
                                        #    Mutt is NOT a saint
                                        #    In fact she'll soon be back where she belongs - in her watery grave next to her beloved Derek
                                        #    Moron, Orphan Annie, Madam Carmen and the likes of them can kiss their respective asses.
                                              If they don't butt out it's their lives that are going to be destroyed. You're going to make sure of that.
    #    You are drooling/pouring your heart out on the only sane Message Board around - Ben&Meg Message Board
    #    You are investigating the events of the night Mutt should have died and her past with Derek. Many  questions may be left
          unanswered, but you know this for sure: Mutt WAS Derek's lover. For a LONGER period of time. She KNEW what she was
          doing.
    #    You had the greatest laugh in your life when Moron told Ben that he (Moron) and Meg belonged together.
    #    Then you dialed 911 and called the Psycho Ward Unit to transport him back to his rubber room. He needs theraphy. A lot of
          theraphy.
    #    You made sure the Psycho Ward Unit first transported Mutt, Orphan Annie, Moron, Madam Carmen to the same Hospital.
          Moron needs company.
    #    When NBC announced Sun's renewal you threw a party to celebrate the next 12 months of watching  Ben&Meg. You say
          there are other characters there, too? Really?! Wow.
    #    You are cropping Mutt out of every Ben&Meg picture.
    #    You are cropping Mutt out of your Ben&Meg recordings. There's no place for her in their life. Never  been, never will be.
    #    You made your own psychic predictions in response to Madam Carmen's:
    #    If Moron doesn't shut the hell up he will end up toungless. (The tools are already on your desk)
    #    If Mutt doesn't come back to her watery grave all by her own you'll contact Mrs. Moreau and learn the appropriate chants.
          Mutt is as good as dead.
    #    If Derek makes the same mistake Mutt did when she left her watery grave he's going to facethe same fate sooner or later.
          Mrs. Moreau knows only too many chants to make sureof  that.
    #    If Madam Carmen doesn't stop making her omniscient warnings she's going to be the one who's life will be destroyed. By
          you.
    #    If Dr. Estrada doesn't stop throwing herself at/lusting over Ben she's gonna see stars sooner than she thinks. She'll see them
          only too clearly when Meg figures out what she isup to and beats the crap out of her for even thinking of taking her Ben
          away from her. Annie should know something about seeing stars for like reasons.
     #    You're constantly coming up with new theories about what really happened the other night when Mutt should have died. One
           thing's for sure. Ben did NOT push her.
    #    You'd acquit him if he did.
    #    You make sure no one takes your place in the line to Ben. But you are fighting to get the Ladies OUT of the beginning. So
          that the line is shorter.
    #    Every time you hear a love song on the radio you can see in your mind that either Ben or Meg are singing it to each other.
          (contributed by Soapy)
    #    You wish that Orphan Annie was put back into coffin and this time BURNT TO ASHES!!! (by Alexandra)
    #    These days, in between Sun's episodes you are thinking 1000 ways to make sure Mutt goes back where  she belongs - to
          her watery grave.  These include:
                                        #    arranging for another boat cruise and making sure this time she  REALLY drowns
                                        #    resurrecting Derek so that he would come back and took his beloved with him back to their
                                               joint watery grave (by Alexandra)
                                        #    pushing Mutt off the same cliff Derek fell off from ( by Alexandra)
                                        (any suggestions?)
    #    If the TPTB are not going to go ahead with their murder mystery plot thing you wish they at least pull  Mutt's tongue so she
          would play silent for the rest of Sun's episodes (by Alexandra)
    #    You can't figure out who is more perfect - Clive or Ben  (by Alexandra)
    #    You can't figure out who is more perfect - Susan or Meg  (by Alexandra)
    #    You wish you were a part of Sun's cast so you could help Ben&Meg to stay together forever and also push Mutt off the same
          cliff Derek fell off from (by Alexandra)
    #    The day Mutt interrupted Ben&Meg's making love with her pathetic problems you went out to a store and bought a gun. No
          professional assassin would be as efficient as you in this case.
    #    Whenever you hear any Sun fan say: "I think Ben should be with Maria (Mutt) you reply: We'll be ice skating in Hell before
          that happens! (by Alexandra)
    #    During the time Ben was kept prisoner by Diane, every time she touched him or, even worse, kissed him you were mumbling
          under your nose: "Take your bloody hands off him. Now. Take them off. He doesn't  belong to you. He is Meg's. Stay away. I
          said: Take them OFF!!!" At this point you were screaming.
    #   You were kinda touched when Casey had this flashback about Meg. But when he got to a point where he remembered
         "rescuing" Meg from Ben and then consoling her your blood reached the boiling point. You screamed: Who do you think you
          are, huh? You stay away from Ben's girl, you hear me? You stay away!!!
    #    From then on you became very supportive of Sara and Casey's relationship, even though you didn't like  them as a couple at
          the beginning. Anything to keep Casey away from Meg.
    #    Whenever Ben tried to escape from Diane, you would get up from your chair, but when Diane kept  stopping him, you dented
          the floor, jumping and saying: NO!! NO!! NO!!! (by Alexandra)
    #    When Ben and Meg kissed at their wedding, it was your dream come true (by Alexandra)
    #    When Mutt showed up, it was your worst nightmare come true (by Alexandra)
    #    You are as hell sure that Benji is NOT Ben's son. You're betting Mutt and Derek's; or Mutt and Gregory's, or Mutt and
          anyone's, but NOT Ben's. Meg is the one who will have Ben's children, and that's the end of discussion.
    #    You are planning on spending Thanksgiving in Santa Barbara. No hotel other than the Old Inn is acceptable.
    #    You spend last several weekends traveling between Sunset "Seal" Beach and Palm Springs looking for that very spot where
          Meg's car skidded off the road and she met Ben. You are planning of raising a monument there.
    #    Once you find the spot, you are going to get in the woods and look for the adobe Ben and Meg spent the night in (and more,
          LOL). You cannot buy it, now that Ben did it, but you're kinda hoping you at least manage to sneak inside or at least peek
          through the window. It's gonna be your number one pilgrimage place.
    #    When Ben chased Mutt that day when she wanted to throw herself into the ocean, you were praying for some kid to trip him
          up.
    #    Whenever it's raining where you live, first you play "Kiss the Rain" and feel like crying, and then you start celebrating,
          remembering the OTHER rain. You still feel like crying, though. You get all mushy.
    #    You rather die than have a blue star ever top your Christmas tree. You have never seen an uglier ornament than that.
    #    You became very fond of Billie Myers, Sarah McLachlan, the Pretenders, Monica Dehan and Deron Johnson, etc. after
          TPTB  used their songs for the Ben&Meg's story.  You already bought at least three CDs with the songs which were used.
          And you're planning on finding the other two.
    #    "Tim, get a life, for Goodness sake" is your mechanical reaction every time he pops up on the screen.
    #    In fact, whenever he does pop up you just fast forward. You know only too well his repertoire, which hasn't changed a bit for
          the last two years, so why waste your time and patience?
    #    You've became somewhat annoyed by Hank these days, even if deep in your heart you know he's at least partly right, and
          you wish he wasn't.
    #    However, when everyone else was blasting Sara for blasting Mutt, you seconded Meg's sister with all your heart.
    #    Moreover - when everyone called Sara stupid for teaming up with Tim (and that WAS stupid) you forgave her the minute her
          actions brought Ben and Meg together. As far as you're concerned - Sara is forgiven and forgotten.
    #    Lately, you've been REALLY wondering what kind of a twisted, sick, masochistic monster is writing for Ben and Meg,
          especially for Meg. The kid thing tops every possible sick and cruel thing anyone can wish for other person. You're thinking
          it's TPTB who need theraphy now.

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