****

<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional//EN">TITLE: Ghosts 5/?

AUTHOR: jodyorjen

RATING: NC-17

SPOILERS: AU Season 7, containing vague rumors and speculation.

DISCLAIMER: All hail Joss Whedon, UPN, the WB, FOX, Mutant Enemy and 20th Century Fox Film Corporation. GO team! Theirs, not mine.

DEDICATION: For Mezzibelle, who made this chapter both possible and probable.

AUTHOR’S NOTE: Angst alert, seriously.

DISTRIBUTION: Please ask my permission first, just so I know where it’s headed. All of my stories may be found at http://www.willingslave.com

The bedroom reeked of sex, the sheets on the bed sweaty and twisted. Lilah murmured as Wesley slowly slid her arm off of his chest. He got out of the bed smoothly, retrieving his glasses and making his way into the living room. Her briefcase was next to the sofa, and he flipped the combination, opening it. He sat down on the couch and pulled out all the folders, carefully laying them out on the coffee table. Somewhere within here must be some hint as to where Faith was.

Wes scoured the files, his eyes scanning each page. When he had gone through them all, he methodically placed them back where they had been in the attaché. Frustrated, he walked into the bathroom and splashed cool water on his face. As he replaced his glasses, he noticed Lilah’s cell phone resting on the side of the tub. He carried it into the kitchen and pulled up the call log. Taking paper and a pen from the counter, he wrote down the numbers of incoming and outgoing calls.

After he was finished, he put the phone back where he’d found it and went back into the bedroom, slipping the folded paper in the pocket of his pants. He climbed back into bed, and trailed his hand along Lilah’s spine. She rolled in her sleep, smiling as she put her head on his shoulder. Setting aside his glasses, he closed his eyes, putting his arm around her.

*****

Dawn and Giles stood in the corner of the hospital waiting room. They watched as Buffy leafed through a magazine, her eyes not quite looking at the pages.

“She’s in denial,” Dawn said quietly. “I keep waiting for her to snap out of it, but she’s not.”

“Perhaps you misunderstood the situation,” Giles said, his brow furrowed. “It may well be that Buffy doesn’t feel she was violated, because she wasn’t.”

“I saw her body,” Dawn argued. “She was hurt and bleeding.” She bit her lip. “Plus, Xander- finished. She could be pregnant or have an STD.”

Giles’ face tightened. “You’re certain they had unprotected sex?”

Dawn nodded vigorously. “Buffy and Riley, they were like the safe sex Olympics. She would never have had sex without a condom. There’s no doubt in my mind that she didn’t want it to happen.”

He turned away, and then quickly back to Dawn. “I know you’re genuinely concerned about Buffy,” Giles said. “But that doesn’t mean that you are off the hook for explaining exactly what you’ve been up to with the magicks, and who has been teaching you.”

“I’ll tell you everything,” she promised. “As soon as we go home, I’ll come clean, I swear.”

He smiled at her and kissed her forehead. “I understand why you attacked Xander, although I cannot condone your behavior,” he said seriously. “It was an accident that you injured Buffy and myself with your excess magickal energy. Just promise me that you won’t try anything else unless we’ve had our discussion.”

“I promise,” she said seriously. He turned away. “Giles?”

“Yes?”

“Can I borrow a few dollars? I want to get a drink and a snack.” He handed her a handful of bills and she walked down the hall.

Giles sat down next to Buffy and took the magazine from her hands. She didn’t react for a few seconds and then turned towards Giles. “Will you tell me what happened with Xander?” he asked gently.

“It was a misunderstanding,” Buffy explained. “Xander got carried away, that’s all.”

“Carried away how?” Giles asked.

“I really don’t want to talk about it,” she replied.

“If you have been raped, you need medical attention,” her Watcher said. “You need to be examined, in case you wish to press charges.”

“I couldn’t do that,” Buffy said. “I couldn’t do that to him. He’s my friend. He loves me.”

“I’m your friend, too,” Giles reminded her. “Do you think I would ever do to you what he did tonight?”

She looked horrified. “Giles, please.”

“I know you love me,” he said calmly. “Do you think that would give me the right to slip into your bed, and take you sexually?”

“It’s not the same,” she replied, looking away. “I told him I loved him. I kissed him.”

“Did you ask him to make love to you? Did you indicate that you found his advances appealing, that you wanted more?”

“No,” she said.

“When he realized that you weren’t willing, did he stop?”

“No.” She bit her lip hard, and a bead of blood welled up on it.

“You’ve been in love, Buffy,” Giles said gently. “A man can tell when his partner is enjoying him, is accepting him. A real man would stop, long before he injured the person he claimed to love.”

She closed her eyes, a lone tear falling down her cheek. “I can’t call him a rapist, Giles, I can’t call it that. He is a good man, a loving and kind person.”

“Good men can do bad things, Buffy,” he reminded her. “It doesn’t always take the loss of a soul to make a man turn bad.” He sighed. “Evil is quiet, and seductive, and slippery. By its very nature, it clouds the mind, makes the unthinkable possible and the most awful acts acceptable.”

“Xander isn’t evil,” she argued. “Xander is good. He can’t be a rapist.”

“But he is one, isn’t he?” Giles said. “He committed the act, and he became one.”

Buffy wiped her lip, smearing a streak of blood across her chin. “I can’t think of him that way. I won’t.”

“Then think on this,” Giles said. “You could be pregnant with his child now. Would you look on that infant with love and warmth, an extension of your feelings for the father, or with dread and fear, thinking of the way that child was brought into the world?”

She looked down at the floor, and then up at Giles. “I think maybe I should see the doctor,” she said. He took her elbow and helped her gain her footing. Hand in hand, they walked towards the nurse’s station.

*****

William woke up shortly before dawn to find Faith straddling him and pressing a large hunting knife against his abdomen. He looked up into her steely gaze, forcing himself to hold still. “Morning baby,” he said.

“Don’t you touch me,” she hissed.

“I won’t,” he said calmly. “You just tell me what you want, and I’ll do it.”

“I’m going to make you pay,” she said. “You sick fuck. You evil bastard.”

He took in her glazed eyes, her steady breathing. “Wake up, Slayer, it’s William.”

“See how you like it,” she ground out. “Someone sticking something inside you that you don’t want. Hurting you, tearing you.” She pressed onto the blade, cutting his skin.

“Faith, I’m not him,” William said. “I’ll never hurt you.”

“I hate you!” she yelled. She drew back her arm and jabbed the knife into his stomach.

It hurt, no doubt about that. He didn’t cry out, didn’t do anything other than clench his fists tightly in the sheets. He didn’t want to scare her, to make this worse for her than it already was. Her eyes were already closing as she rolled off of him. She wrapped her arms around her pillow and sighed.

Spike gritted his teeth and pulled the knife out. He pressed his hand against the wound and walked into the bathroom. A first aid kit enabled him to bandage up the wound and he retrieved an excellent bottle of whisky from the bar in the living room. Moving slowly, he brought it back to bed and propped himself against the headboard.

He sipped the bottle slowly as he watched his Slayer sleep. She looked peaceful and childlike as he reached out his hand and pulled the covers over her.

*********

“You may experience nausea or vomiting,” the doctor said. Buffy nodded and took the cups of medication and water from her. Giles looked on worriedly as she swallowed the two blue pills.

The petite woman handed Buffy a paper envelope and a brochure. “The next dose must be taken in twelve hours,” she explained. “Your next period may be lighter or heavier than normal, and it may come earlier than usual or later. If you have not had your period within three weeks, you should come in to be examined.”

“Thank you, Dr. Choudry,” Buffy said distantly.

“You really should see a counselor,” the physician said. “It helps to talk-”

“I’m fine,” Buffy said firmly.

“If you change your mind, the information for the Women’s Center is in the brochure,” said Dr. Choudry.

Buffy looked up at her. “Can I go now?”

“Yes, we’re finished,” the doctor said. “You’re free to go. Just take it easy, get some rest.”

“Thank you,” Giles said, shaking her hand.

The doctor left, closing the door behind her. “I need to get dressed,” Buffy stated.

“I’ll be right outside then,” Giles said, turning to go.

“Thank you for staying with me,” she said. He smiled and left the room.

Once he was in the hallway, his expression shifted. Jaw set, he took off down the hallway. He stood in front of the nurse’s station and waited. Both nurses were on the telephone, and he waited impatiently for one of them to hang up.

“May I help you?” asked the nurse, as she set down the receiver.

“I’d like to find out the status of Alexander Harris,” said Giles.

“Are you a family member?” she asked.

“Yes, I’m his father,” he replied.

She tapped on her keyboard. “He’s in stable condition,” she said. “Looks like he’ll be in good shape for visitors tomorrow.”

“Where is he?” Giles queried.

“He’s in ICU, third floor,” she responded.

“Thank you,” he said. He came back and stood outside Buffy’s door. The Slayer came out, looking tired and drawn. “I checked on Xander and he’s fine,” Giles said. “Let’s track down Dawn and head home.”

“Sounds good,” said Buffy. “I don’t feel so well. Do you mind if I lean on you?”

“Not at all,” the Watcher said. He put his arm around her waist and she leaned on his chest as they walked down the hallway.

******

The Summers girls slept peacefully, secure in the comfort of Dawn’s bed. The phone rang in the stillness of early morning. Buffy fumbled with the receiver. “Hello?”

“Buffy Anne Summers?” asked an accented voice. The connection was bad, a sizzling hiss on the line.

“That’s me,” she said, stifling a yawn.

“Miss Buffy Anne Summers?” the man repeated.

“Yes,” she replied loudly. “This is Buffy Summers.” Dawn rolled over, turning away from her sister’s annoying voice.

“I’m sorry to inform you, but your father has passed away,” said the voice.

“Who has passed away?” she said, still foggy with sleep. Dawn’s eyes opened wide.

“Your father Henry has passed away,” the man explained. “He died in an automobile accident in Madrid today.”

“He’s dead?” she said.

“Yes, Miss Summers,” the man confirmed. “My name in Reynaldo Garcia, and I was your father’s attorney here in Spain. I understand that you and your sister are the only beneficiaries.”

“I can’t believe he’s dead,” Buffy said. “I don’t know how I’m going to tell my sister.” Tears rolled silently down Dawn’s face as she listened to the conversation.

“I’m very sorry for your loss,” Mr. Garcia said. “You need to contact the Los Angeles office to make arrangements to read the will. I have the information for you, if you’d like to take it down.”

“When do I have to call the lawyers?” Buffy asked.

“The sooner the better,” he said. “You and Dawn will need to go in person to hear the will.”

“My sister and I will be there,” she said. “I wish we didn’t have to deal with lawyers, though.” Buffy left the room, closing the door behind her.

Dawn rushed out of bed as soon as the door shut. Hurriedly, she tossed on clothes and shoes and pulled out a backpack, filling it with changes of clothes. She caught a glimpse of her reflection in the mirror and stared. ”I’m a murderer,” she whispered. “I’m a killer.”

******

Faith woke up to gentle kisses trailing across her face. She grinned and opened her eyes. “Come here,” she said huskily.

William smiled down at her. “Later.” He took her hand and pulled her up, then held open a robe for her. She slipped it on and he tied it around her waist, holding her close for a moment and kissing her neck. Taking her hand, he led her into the living room and sat her down on the couch.

He sat down next to her and ran his fingers over hers, looking at her seriously. “What happened to you, after you killed your sister?”

The warmth in her face faded away, leaving her eyes cold and flat. She jerked her hand away and stood up. “Fuck off,” she said, as she turned and stalked into the bedroom.

He followed her and stood in the doorway. “I was in your dream,” he said. “I saw her, your mother, your father. You were just a little child, Faith. You couldn’t have understood what you’d done.”

“Shut up,” she said calmly, stripping off her robe and tossing it away. She pulled open the dresser drawers and took out a bra and underwear, slipping them on.

“Did your father leave your mum? What happened to you both?” William asked.

Faith ignored him, pulling on a tight pair of jeans and a black t-shirt. He walked towards her and she held up a hand. “Don’t touch me,” she said, looking away. “I’m out of here.” She stepped around him and he grabbed her wrist.

The Slayer threw a punch with her other hand and he caught it. “Go ahead and run,” he told her. “You’ve been running all your life, haven’t you? You probably don’t even know anything else.”

“I’m not running,” she said, her chin held high. “It was fun, and now it’s over.” She pulled her hands away.

“Not until one of us is dead,” he said.

“I don’t care about you,” she said. “Just because we fucked doesn’t give you a piece of me.”

“No, fucking doesn’t mean anything,” he affirmed. “What we did, it was something more than that.”

“Don’t say that!” He stepped towards her and she kicked him in the chest. “I don’t want you, and I don’t need you!”

William fell to the floor. “You and I both know this is real, this is right. You felt it and you admitted it. Say what you will, but I know the truth. Lie to yourself if you have to, but don’t bother lying to me,” he said passionately.

Faith looked down at him, her face impassive. His robe had fallen open, and she saw the white bandage that covered his abdomen. Her brow furrowed as she kneeled down. “What happened?” she asked, pressing her fingers lightly against the gauze.

“Nothing,” he said, moving her hand away.

She looked into his eyes. “Did someone hurt you?” He looked away from her.

“You were dreaming,” he explained. “You hurt me by accident. Nothing serious.”

She pressed hard on the bandage and he winced, biting back a curse. “Stop holding out on me.”

“You cut me, you cut my stomach,” he said. She leaned back on her heels and stared at him.

“I stuck a knife in your gut while I was sleeping?” she said.

“It’s alright,” he said. “Just a flesh wound.” He smiled at her. “You can kill me, if you want to, but everything else is fleeting.”

“I didn’t mean to,” she said, her voice cracking.

“You were asleep,” he assured her. “I know you didn’t mean it.”

“I don’t want to hurt you,” she said. “I’m so sorry.”

He wrapped his arms around her and she embraced him tightly. “It’s okay. I’m fine. I just want to understand what’s going on in your mind.”

“I’m bad,” she said, her shoulders shaking. “I try so hard to be good, but there’s something wrong with me.”

“There’s nothing wrong with you,” William said soothingly. “You’ve been hurt, and you lash out because you don’t know what else to do.”

“I don’t want to hurt anyone,” Faith admitted. “I want to be good.” She began to cry, and he held her tight.

****

Dawn ran down the street, her breath coming hard as her sneakers pounded the pavement. She turned and sprinted across the soccer field and the playground, passing through the gates of the cemetery. She banged furiously on the door to Spike’s crypt. Within a minute, the door opened a crack. “Dawn?” asked a sleepy voice.

“It’s me,” she replied.

Clem opened the door, yawning. “What’s the matter?”

“I need help,” she said. “I’m in real trouble.”

“Come on in,” he said, gesturing. “So is this Key related? Did you come out to Buffy?” Her face tightened and she looked like she was about to cry. ”Why don’t you just take it nice and slow from the beginning, and I’ll get you a Yahoo and some Twinkies, okay?” he said soothingly.

“Okay,” she said, sinking down on the couch.

Clem grabbed the drink from the fridge and rifled through a trunk that lay next to it. He sat down next to Dawn and handed her the snacks. When she was done, she shredded the label from the bottle and shoved the strips of plastic inside the neck.

“Tell me what’s wrong,” he said softly.

“I hurt people with my energy,” she said. “I knocked out Giles and Buffy, but just for a few seconds.” She gulped. “But Xander-” She choked up, unable to say it.

“It’s okay, sweetie,” he reassured her, rubbing her shoulders lightly.

She bit her lip deeply. “I killed Xander, Clem. I didn’t mean to. It was an accident.”

His jaw dropped open. Quickly, he recovered his composure. “I don’t understand,” he said. “Your power lets you open the portals between worlds. Very powerful, but how could you cause harm?”

“I can call forth souls,” she revealed. “I’ve been calling Tara, since she died.”

“Dawn!” he said, horrified. “That’s necromancy! You could become possessed, or something worse!”

“Well, something worse would be killing someone.” She bit her fingernails. “I can drain all the happiness away from a soul or fill one with it. I can make one, too.”

“You can create a soul?” he asked, astonished.

“It’s not even hard,” she said, nipping at her cuticle. “I wish I’d never found out any of this stuff.”

“You have to tell your sister all of this. Buffy is a Slayer,” Clem said. “She’ll have some idea who could help you deal with your abilities.”

She shook her head. “I need to get rid of my powers,” she said. “I’ll give them to someone who wants them, if they can make Xander alive again.” She looked at Clem seriously. “He hurt my sister and I wanted to hurt him. But I never wanted to kill anyone, Clem. You have to believe me.”

“I believe you,” he said. “I don’t think there’s anyone in Sunnydale that can help you. Willow and Rack were the biggest magick users in town, and they’re both out of the picture.” He looked thoughtful. “You’re going to have to go to L.A. There’s a huge demon population there and lots of witches and warlocks as well.”

“Can you lend me some money?” Dawn asked. “For bus fare. I’ll pay you back, I promise.”

“The bus station is the first place anyone would look,” Clem said. “That and the train station.”

She stamped her foot. “I wish I had a car.”

“You can’t drive anyway,” Clem said.

“I can too,” she argued. “Spike taught me how last summer. If I could drive that big tank of his, I could drive anything.” She looked over at Clem. “If I’m wanted for murder, stealing a car’s probably a bad idea, right?”

He winced. “Yeah.” He walked over to the trunk and pulled out a ring of keys and a black wallet. “I don’t think Spike’s ever coming back, Dawn, but if he does, you’d better have the DeSoto back in one piece.” She took the keys from him, and he handed her the wallet. “That’s his money too.”

“The way I see it, he owes the Summers girls big time,” said Dawn. She kissed the demon on the cheek. “I love you, Clem.”

He hugged her hard. “I love you too.” They exchanged a smile. “Godspeed,” he said. “Please be careful.”

“I’ll be back before anyone even notices I’m gone,” Dawn promised, as she ran out the door.

Clem watched her go. “I really hope so,” he said, “or the Slayer is going to wear my ass for a hat.”

-TBC-

Back Next