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| The Perfect woman |
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| Will not think injurys involving my testicles are funny. Will not touch the remote control. Will maintain a horizontally accesible attitude. Will be neither metabolically overachieved or skeletally prominent. Will not be overly susceptible to marketing ploys when shopping. Will be microwave compatible. Will hear me the first time. Will not leave the Nair bottle that looks like a shampoo bottle in the shower. Will not make me hold her purse in the mall. Will not ask questions she already knows the answer to. Will not think it's funny to provoke large, dangerous looking felons when we're in a bar. |
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