Parenting Toddlers
Potty Training
Other Potty Training Info:
l Readiness Checklist
l ABC's of Potty Training
l What Works and doesn't Work
On This Page:
l How to Start
l Training Boys
l Training Girls
What exactly do we do when we start toilet training?
One way to begin training is to have your child practice using the potty chair while he's still dressed. A potty seat can feel cold and hard at first, and having cloth between skin and chair is easier for many children. Of course, if your child wants to take his diaper off, that's fine.
Try bringing a favorite teddy bear in for your child to watch. You can let the teddy or doll have a chance to try sitting, too. Some parents talk about how the bear feels very pleased with the new potty, or about how Teddy has long been hoping for a potty of his own. Most children love to watch a teddy bear or doll "sit." They may even learn more by watching this kind of simple demonstration than from having you tell them what to do.
Next, have your child sit for a few minutes while you read him a story, sing a song, or just chat. If he doesn't want to sit, don't try to force him. When parents insist that resistant children sit, they can start a power struggle that will delay the entire process. Continue sitting practice for a few days or a week.
In the second week, see if your child wants to try sitting on the potty bare-bottomed (suggest this at a time when your child is already undressed, such as before or after his bath). Again, don't insist that your child sit if he doesn't want to. Continue your practice sessions once — or at most twice — a day for about another week. At this point, your child will be comfortable with the potty as something that is familiar and a part of his daily routine. He may have added his own routines, taking the potty around the house with him or pretending to read a story while his teddy bear sits. Your child is now ready to have more practice times geared toward using the potty to actually go.
— By Meg Zweiback, R.N., M.P.H.
Toilet Training Boys
DOES IT REALLY TAKE LONGER TO TRAIN BOYS THAN GIRLS?
Yes, although no one -- including experts such as Dr. T. Berry Brazelton -- seems to know just why. In her book Toilet Learning, author Alison Mack says the difference may be at least partially due to the fact that moms are most often the primary toilet-trainers in a family. Boys without a male role model to imitate in the bathroom may take a little longer to get the idea, while girls have the advantage of observing someone with the same equipment.
But even if Dad is equally involved, boys will still sometimes need more time than girls, possibly because for them it's a two-step process. First they learn to pee and poop sitting down, and then they
have to master standing up (see below).
If your son takes longer than girls his age, that's okay. Just be sure to watch for the signs of readiness and go from there.
SHOULD MY SON PEE STANDING UP?
Since bowel movements and urine often come at the same time, it makes sense initially to have your son sit for both so he learns that both belong in the potty. Also, that way he won't get distracted by the fun of spraying and learning to aim when you need him to concentrate on just mastering the basic procedure.
FYI: When buying a potty chair for your son, look for one without a urine guard (or one you can remove). While they may protect your bathroom from a little stray pee, more often they tend to bump into and scrape your son's penis, potentially causing him to associate going to the bathroom with pain. Yikes!
MASTERING HIS AIM
He can move on to trying the standing position. This is where having a readily available male role model is key. Make sure your son can follow Dad, an uncle, or a good family friend to the bathroom to watch him pee. When your son seems to get the idea, let him give it a try, perhaps into his own potty chair while standing next to the big toilet.
If he seems reluctant, try floating a few Cheerios or other small, flushable objects (some companies sell products just for this purpose) in the toilet bowl for target practice, and expect to clean up a few messes as your son masters his aim.
Toilet Training Girls
ARE GIRLS REALLY EASIER TO TOILET TRAIN THAN BOYS?
Yes, although no one -- including experts such as Dr. T. Berry Brazelton -- seems to know just why. In her book Toilet Learning, author Alison Mack says the difference may be at least partially due to the fact that moms are most often the primary toilet-trainers in a family. If that's true, girls have the advantage of observing someone with the same equipment, so it may click a little sooner.
IS THERE ANYTHING SPECIAL I SHOULD KNOW ABOUT TRAINING MY DAUGHTER?
The only sex-specific tip you need to know is a carryover from your diapering days: Wipe from front to back. As you teach your daughter all the steps of toilet training, make sure she knows to move the toilet paper from front to back when she wipes herself after she pees. That helps prevent bacteria from coming into contact with the sensitive skin of her vagina, keeping her infection-free.
FYI: Bladder infections, while not common, seem to be more likely in girls around the time of toilet training. If your daughter needs to urinate frequently, finds urination painful, wets her pants after having established good bladder control, has abdominal pain, and feels the sudden, urgent need to pee, call her healthcare provider.
WHAT IF SHE WANTS TO TRY STANDING UP?
If your daughter has seen her older brother, her father, or one of her friends from preschool or daycare stand tall at the toilet, she'll more than likely want to give it a whirl as well. Let her. Sure you'll have to clean up a couple of messes, but she'll probably get the idea fairly quickly that she doesn't have the equipment to make it work, and you won't have to engage her in a power struggle. If she persists, have her watch you and explain how mommies and their daughters have to sit down to pee.