Back ter the issue at hand: Wagner ran from me. And at first I was shocked, not sure what ter do. I hadn't expected he'd run from me. When I'd hugged him, I thought maybe he'd push me away, tell me he didn't swing that way...but he'd hugged me back. And kissed me. Definite signs of interest. And I was plesantly surprised. Then, he left, without an explaination, leaving me confused ter high hell. When I get confused, especially about my sodding emotions, I get frustrated.
And here's where the anger came in. It bum-rushed me, hot and heavy. I can take rejection, honest. But I'd be goddamned if he wasn't ganner give me a fucking explaination right now. I raged out of me room towards his, so angry I was seeing red. I vaguely recall passing someone in the hall. Bobby, I think.
"You alright, Jonothon?" he asked.
*It's fucking Jono to you, Frosty,* I snapped as I walked past him. What was he doing up at this hour, anyway? Probably sneaking ter the kitchen, knowing Bobby.
"Asshole," I heard him mumble, but I could really care less. Maybe in a couple days, but not right now. No, right now, Wagner and I were gonner have words.
Okay, so maybe I should've stopped ter cool down. Hell, maybe I should've waited til tomorrow. Maybe by then I could've thought of something cool ter say when I saw him. But when I'm angey, there is no tomorrow. I reached Wagner's door and knocked--a little louder than necessary, true, but at least I didn't just barge through, which is exactly what I wanted ter do.
"Ja?" Wagner asked, his voice muffled through the door.
*Kurt, open the door. I wanner talk ter yer.* There was a slight pause, then:
"Now is not a good time, Jono." My fingers curled inter tight fists and I resisted the urge ter hit the door in frustration.
*We need ter settle somethin', and I'm sure yer don't want me ter say what I need ter say while I'm standing in the hall, so open the goddamn door!* I heard movement from inside the room, then the door opened a crack. He leaned against the door frame, his yellow eyes burning with anger.
"You need to watch what you say around me, Freund."
*Fine, but let me in so we can talk.* He sighed, his face suddenly looking tired. He mumbled something in German--which I normally would've found cute, but now was irritating the hell otter me--and opened the door wider. I pushed past him inter his room. I watched him close the door and turn slowly ter me. Before I could even start ter say anything, he held up a hand ter stop me.
"I know. You are mad, and you should be." He walked past me ter the bed and sat down. "Vhen I vent to your room tonight, I had every intention of telling you vhat vas on my mind, but I lost my nerve. I value your friendship, Jono, I really do, but--"
*But yer not interested in me in that way,* I finished fer him. What was once my heart lurched at me own words. *That's all yer had ter say. And then I wouldn't've come in here making an arse outter meself!* I shook my head, disappointed, and turned ter leave.
"Nein, nein, Jono! Let me finish!" I stopped and turned ter look at him. My mind still played that cruel joke of letting me feel my pulse in my throat. He looked down, struggling fer words. "I am interested in you, Jono." He gave a little laugh, and I was shocked. He was interested in me, but...
*Why did yer run, then?* I asked, my anger forgotten.
"Jono, you know how important my religion is to me," he replied, as if that answered everything.
*Yeah,* I said, shrugging. He'd told me about how he'd studied ter be a priest, and how he was "full of faith" or something like that. I'd never really thought about any religion fer long, let alone Christianity. So, when we'd had this discussion a few hours earlier, I hadn't really commented much on it.
Wagner frowned at me, creasing that handsome dark face of his. "Ze Church frowns on...zat." Oh, shit. They did, didn't they? I sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed next ter him.
*Look, Kurt, I know yer tight with yer religion, but yer can't help the way yer feel.* I felt him tremble next ter me, and he nodded.