| Fuck Off!! 
    by Callista 
    Comments: erm... haaahahah~~ I've been 
    thinking about this fic lately very much, n it sounds too much like soap 
    opera ;D *giggles* well, I dun have any ideas how Shinya might be cured >. 
    
     
    Part 6 
    Die beside him."You know" The read-headed started, not looking at a friend "I think that 
    everything here is just a dream... Bad dream... Nightmare. And soon I will 
    wake up. And, and Shinya will be fine"
 "And KAoru won't be mad" Toshiya added silently, studying his long 
    fingernails.
 Suddenly the door opened and Kyo stormed in. "Okay, Totchi, we're out!!" Kyo 
    yeleld while grabbing bassist's skinny arm. "What?!" Toshiya panicked. "And 
    Die?!"
 "He stays here" Kaoru said calmly, when he walked into the room. Toshiya 
    glared at him. "What?!" he threw Kyo far away, anger filling him ~How can he 
    think about Leaving Die _now_??~
 "How DARE you, leave YOUR friend HERE in this situation!!" He yelled angrily 
    while walking to Kaoru.
 Pink haired guitarist didn't say a thing, he looked at Toshiya without 
    expression on his face. ~Oh God, oh God... He loves him... He loves him~
 Toshiya stood in front of Kaoru, still yelling at him, he poked guitarist on 
    chest.
 "How DARE you?!"
 Kaoru closed his eyes. ~Pease, stop. I won't take it anymore~ the anger, the 
    energy surrounding Toshiya, was just too much for him. He felt his groin 
    painfully against trousers. Bulge hardening, growing.
 "Kaoru, SAY STH!! Our great leader-sama??" He laughed dryly. Ironically.
 "Toshiya, it's okay-" Die said, sadness painting in his eyes.
 "NO!" Toshiya looked at him. "Nothing is okay!"
 "So, Kaoru-sama??" He smirked. "Argh! You're noth-" Toshiya couldn't end, 
    cuz Kaoru's lusting lips pressed roughly on his. "mh!" Toshiya gasped 
    surprisingly. Kaoru was kissing him passionately. His hand grabbed Toshiya's 
    ass and pressed him closer to his hard bulge. Toshiya responded hungrily. 
    Die looked _very_ shocked. His eyes stared at kissing couple, he could feel 
    himself hardening. ~You jerk, you're hungry for sex, when your love lies in 
    hospital! Damn you!~ He scold himself in mind.
 Kaoru was still kissing Toshiya. Their tongues playing, touching. Toshiya 
    sucked Kaoru's lower lip. Then, suddenly, he broke the kiss, looking 
    surprisingly at guitarist. He met Kaoru's dreaming gaze.
 "W-Why..?" he asked and then touched his lips.
 "I'm sorry Toshiya, I'm so sorry" Kaoru's arms tightly embraced him. I love 
    you, Toshiya. I love you."
 Kyo smirked. Die let a small moan.
 Toshiya closed his eyes. "Kaoru..."
 "But I know, Toshiya" Kaoru took his delicate face in his arms. "I know, 
    that you love Die"
 Die fet like throwing out, but he limit himself only to fall from chair. 
    Loudly. Kyo smirked again. The read-headed stood up heavily and smoothed his 
    clothes. "Kaoru, Toshiya doesn't love me, he loves you, you moron!" Die 
    walked to the pair.
 Kaoru looked confused. "B-but..?"
 "Oh, shut up!" Die punched him on arm. But Kaoru still was looking like he 
    didn't understand.
 Toshiya smiled sadly. "Kaoru, are you still angry?"
 Kaoru looked at him, still quite not knowing what's happening. "N-no, 
    honey.." he kissed him lightly on cheek.
 Die smiled sadly, when he saw Toshiya hugging Kaoru. He really wanted to 
    take Shinya in his arms, the same way as Kaoru was holding Toshiya now. He 
    felt so jealous, but at the same time, he was happy to see them together 
    finally.
 "Okay, I g-go n check on Shinya" He walked out.
 Kyo looked at leaving Die, and raised his eyebrow, then he kept on starring 
    at Toshiya and Kaoru again.
 He felt so alone. No one cared about him.
 Toshiya, let's go out" Kaoru said. Toshiya's eyes opened slightly.
 "And what about Die?"
 "I wanted him to stay with Shinya... That might be better."
 Toshiya nodded.
 "Kyo?" he turned to the little vocalist.
 "Are you going with us?"
 "No~, I guess I'm a bit tired" Kyo looked down, while brushing his hair. 
    Then he walked to the door. "I'm gonna get some rest, C'u tomorrow... I 
    guess" he left.
 Toshiya looked at empty door. ~I hope that he doesn't care~
 "What happened?" Kaoru broke the silence.
 "N-Nothing" Toshiya smiled. "Let's go out"
 
 ***
 
 Die sat on a chair, beside hospital's bed. He was silent, but Shinya woke 
    up, when he entered the room. He also didn't say a thing. They spent few 
    minutes, just staring at the wall.
 "I-" finally they both started.
 "Erm... You first" Shinya blushed.
 "No, you first!" Die giggled.
 Silence.
 "A-ano... Why are you here?" Shinya looked at his hands, which were grasping 
    material of his blanket.
 "hn... Because you're my band mate, friend..."
 "Sou ka..." Shiny away a bit disappointed.
 Die stood up and sat closer to the drummer, on his bed.
 "Shinya, let me tae care of you" he said huskily, while brushing few strands 
    of Shinya's blonde hair. Shinya could feel his heartbeat faster. ~Oh, 
    Die...~
 Somehow he looked at Die's trousers [ *laughs maniacally* ~call ]. He 
    surprised seeing big bulge.
 "Erm... O-okay, Die..." He said, but the voice wasn't quite his. ~Why am I 
    so weak?? Why am I feel so strange, why, why the hell, I want him to take me 
    here and now?!"~ Shinya felt like crying. He couldn't believe his own 
    thoughts. Die realised Shinya's depressed expression. "What's wrong?" he 
    asked. ~Oh, I hope he didn't look at my penis...~[ BUAHAHAHAHA~~ erm, sorry, 
    couldn't take it ;D ~call ]
 "Nothing.. Really"
 "If you say so" Die patted his head. He stood up to walk away. Shinya said 
    nothing. Die opened door. "Bye.." he said. Shinya still reminded silent. Die 
    left. The blonde one felt strange.
 He couldn't feel his legs, and still he couldn't feel the pain after 
    accident. He punched his leg. Nothing. He hit it even harder. Nothing. He 
    hit again, and again. Nothing. Nothing. This was scary. Doctor told him what 
    exactly happened to his body, he felt awful. Oh, yes, one thing was aching 
    badly. And it was his heart. Shinya closed his eyes, tears fall. ~I won't 
    play drums~ He buried his face in palms.
 
 ***
 
 Die stood in front of the door to the Shinya's ward. He could see crying 
    Shinya through the little window in the door. His heart was hurting. 
    "Shinya.." he whispered. Die looked down and walked away.
 Suddenly someone grabbed his arm.
 "Die-san?"
 Die turned around. "Oh, doctor, what's up?"
 "Shinya-san can go back home tomorrow. But someone need to take care of 
    him... We can't do anything now. And Kyo-san said that you would take good 
    care of him."
 "I will take him" Die said.
 "Thank you, Goodbye, then"
 
 ***
 
 Kyo returned to his apato. Oh, yeees, he WAS tired like hell. The day was 
    full of surprises.
 He felt strange, he could say what was happening to his heart. "I think that 
    the idea of Die taking care of Shinya is good..." he murmured. He walked to 
    his bedroom, his little scorpion was sittig silently in the box. Kyo walked 
    to it. "At least you're a good friend".
 He sat on the chair and reminded silent, he was only watching the scorpion.
 ~Okay, Toshiya and Kaoru are finally together, now.. Now... It's time to 
    work on Die and Shinya.. Well at least, Die's taking him tomorrow home~ he 
    scratched his arm. ~And then, everything should be fine, or at least Die 
    will tease him mercilessly.. What a stupid jerk... He should think more...~
 "Yosh! I feel like writing some lyrics!" he took pencil and some paper. He 
    started to write something, not quite thinking about it.
 
 ~Darkness That is the darkness in the dark, dark heart
 Eyes Those are eyes that see the painful, painful reality
 Feelings That is the feelings of the body unloved
 Betrayal That is the betrayal shown on the outside of the inside
 
 These are what the boy feels from other people, imprinted in his heart
 Being hurt everyday, being hurt but still go on living
 A bird that cannot fly
 The reason for not to fly away from parents
 Just like me
 No matter how many times I cover my eyes, I still only think of that
 Even at a place where there are humans
 If no one is needed
 If no one is being loved
 No one loves
 Anyone…
 Gradually, I too, would fly away from such a rotten human society
 
 0ne little one
 Two little one
 Three little one
 Four little one
 Five little one
 .
 .
 .
 Goodnight, very tired, get some rest
 To all the humans who live amongst decadence, unloved and betrayal
 
 368 sleeping pills~***
 
 And he fall asleep.
 
 ***
 
 to be continued...
 
 
 
 to be continued
 back to deg 
    fics pg 3
 
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