by Kiri

Comments: This is for Mizuki-chan and all other Shinya lovers/haters
out there. ^_^
If this seems OOC, it's cuz I was trying to make it that way ^.~
Also, you may notice the blatant reference to Johnen Vasquez's super
awesome comic, 'Johnny the Homicidal Maniac'. Having read the comic
or not doesn't make much difference, but the 'Die-ary' might make
more sense. And I haven't decided whether or not to make
Shinya 'homicidal' yet.... suggestions?


"It's possible that I'm -quite- horrendously insane. That's the fuck
of it; you know, the old thing about the crazy person who never -
knows- they're crazy. It could just be an imperceptible shifting of
accepted realities. It's all -really- interesting."
-Nny ^_^

=====
1st Entry

Dear Die-ary,

Why do I endure the pain and sufferings of each pointless day? Why
do I tolerate -him-? His constant teasing and abuse. My soul is
torn to shreds everytime he speaks.
Every single time it is the same. Does he get that much pleasure in
tormenting me? Does he like to see the hurt in my eyes when he
insults me? It's just sick.
However, I can be just as sick. He just doesn't realize it.
The time is nearing.
I've put up with his abuse long enough.
I can take it no longer.
It's time he felt the pain I feel each day because of him.
And then some.

-------

Hands pounding, moving in sync with the rhythm of his heart.
Breath shallow and rapid as his hands continue to pump, up and down
in that constant steady motion: up and down up and down. He lets
out a moan as he finishes and collapses over on himself, sweaty
strands of hair falling in his face.

"That sounded good guys. We'll take a quick break and do it again
just to be sure." Kaoru announced.
Shinya looked up from behind his drum set, still struggling to catch
his breath.
-Again-? He had put everything he had into that last set. With an
annoyed click of his tongue he eased himself up and stretched his
tired arms out in a feline-like motion.
Die caught all this from the corner of his eye, and, grinning, walked
over to the smaller man as he pulled his cigarettes from his pocket.
"Care for one?" He asked, offering the pack to Shinya.
The drummer knitted his eyebrows and stuck his tongue out. Die
laughed and ruffled Shinya's hair playfully. "Your loss." he said and
walked toward the door after Kyo who was already outside for his own
smoke break.
Done Already? Die's teasing wasn't as bad today as it usually was,
Shinya noted, somewhat bemused. Surely Die hadn't grown tired of
tormenting him? Perhaps what the drummer had been planning wouldn't
be necassary....
Nah.
Either way, it would be fun, whether Die deserved it or not (At least
fun for one of them anyway.) and Shinya no longer cared. He'd
planned to long and carefully. Die was getting his comeuppins at
long last, no turning back now.
Shinya took a deep breath. Now or never, he decided.
"Neh, Die?"
The red haired man stopped in the doorway and looked back over his
shoulder. "Eh?"
"I was wondering.... if you'd like to do something tonight maybe."
Die blinked in disbelief. Was this -Shinya- asking someone -else- to
go and do something?
"Like, get drinks or something?"
Shinya nodded and, just for added affect, smiled sweetly, almost
pleadingly at Die. Die smiled back. Holy Shit. Shinya was acting
weird, but what the hell.
"Neh, you guys wanna come?" Die asked Kaoru and Toshiya, who were
watching with just as much disbelief over what Shinya had done.
Shinya panicked. "Er, well, actually Die.... I was hoping it would
just be us and....." his voice trailed off and he lowered his now
bright red face to avoid the others gaping stares.
Regaining his composure, Kaoru slipped an arm around Toshiya's waist
and said, "We've got plans for tonight already anyway. You two enjoy
yourselves." he added with a wink.
Shinya kept his face down and grinned to himself.
Oh I -know- I will, if all goes right, he thought and tried to
suppress the chuckle that fought to come out.

---

"So I'll pick you up at about 9 OK?" Shinya asked Die once practice
was over. Die, who was putting his guitar in his case, smiled and
held up two fingers for victory.
"Lookin' forward to it Shin-chan."
Shinya frowned. I'll make sure you never call me that again after
tonight, he thought as he turned to leave the studio. On his way out
he passed Toshiya and Kaoru who were wrapped lovingly in each others
arms. Shinya inwardly sighed with exasperation for the two lovers.
It had been cute at first the way they hung all over eachother but
now it was kind of sickening. However, he put on a good face and
smiled as he waved good-bye to them. As he was passing them, Kaoru
reached out and grabbed Shinyas arm and pulled him close enough so
that he was whispering in his ear.
"I'm proud of you Shinya. I bet that took you a lot of nerve," he
ended by giving Shinya a quick kiss on the cheek. Shinya did his
best to look embarrassed and smiled sheepishly, making Toshiya giggle.
Shinya was beginning to feel queasy.
"Mmm, well, I'll see you guys around, neh?"
"Enjoy yourself tonight Shin-chan!" Toshiya called as Shinya walked
out of the door and into the cold winter air. His friendly smile had
been replaced by a look of sheer annoyance.
" 'I bet that took you a lot of nerve Shin-chaaaan' " He spat,
mocking Kaoru's voice. "He doesn't know anything...."
"Now that's not very nice."
Shinya quickly swerved in the direction of the unknown voice. He
could have sworn he was alone. But there was Kyo, perched atop
Toshiya's car, smoking away on a disgusting cancer stick and grinning
like a fool for having caught Shinya.
"Kyo! W-what're you doing there?"
Kyo expertly exhaled a thin blue whisp of smoke from between his lips
and replied,"Toshiya gave me a ride in today. I'm waiting for him to
let go of Kaoru long enough to get his ass out here."
Shinya nodded and unlocked his car. "Oh, well, see ya later." He
mumbled. He didn't want to hear any teasing from Kyo either today.
But before he could get into the drivers seat, the small blonde man
called one last thing after him.
"Oh, Shinya, take it easy on Die tonight. He's frailer than he
looks."
Shinya laughed and closed the door to the coldness outside.
"Not if I can help it Kyo." he said and started the car. "Not if I
can help it."

-----------------------

Die was pacing frantically back and forth across his apartment.
Every so often he would throw a glance at the digital clock on his
VCR.
8:55....... 9:03...... 9:14.......
Where the hell was Shinya? Die cursed to himself. He should be the
one picking Shinya up, except for the fact that no one was really
sure where the hell that damn boy lived. It had taken them long
enough to get a phone number out of him, and so far none of them had
gotten any clue as too his address.
Sighing, Die ducked into the bathroom and just as he ran his hands
through his wild, slightly disheveled hair,he heard a soft knock on
the door.
"Hai! Coming!" His heart thumped in his chest and he rushed at the
door, nearly tripping as he struggled to get at it.
"It's about damn ti---" Die stopped and his mouth hung open. He
stared at the figure in front of him in disbelief.
There was Shinya, looking absolutely STUNNING in an outfit Die would
have never thought the drummer would touch, much less, well, squeeze
into. Actually, Die couldn't fathom how Shinya had gotten the tight
vinyl mini skirt on. It looked like it was sewn onto his thighs or
something. Christ. And the top.... almost as tight as the
provocative skirt, but it was black satin, with a delicate lace trim.
Die could feel his face grow hot 'I-it looks more like lingerie....'
One of the lacy straps slid from Shinya's shoulder. The drummer
ignored it.
"Wow Shin-chan.... you look great." Die said dumbly, his eyes still
lingering over the delicate man's barely concealed curves.
Shinya smiled at Die. "Domo. Sorry I'm so late. Are you ready to
go?"
Inwardly though, he was seething.
Of -course- I look great. How could I not? This part's for you
Die... enjoy it now while it lasts. You'll pay later for calling me
that again.

----------------------

Disgusting. How could people stand coming to such filthy places
every friggen night? They found pleasure in sitting in a dirty,
rigid booth, choking down cheap drinks while people leaned over in
the corner and puked? If they even had the courtesy to go into the
corner first.
Die, apparently, was not so courteous, and by look of his face, was
going to prove it soon by marking a nice spot in the middle of the
table. Shinya sighed. He hated it, but it was necassary for his
plan to go as smoothly as possible. It would all work much better if
Die's reactions were a bit delayed. So Shinya had made sure Die's
glass remained full, while he himself kept from drinking anything
more than a glass of water.
When Shinya was sure Die was thoroughly wasted, he stood up and
beckoned the other man to follow him. Die stood up, wavered on his
feet for a second, and fell face first onto the floor.
Shit, I over did it.
"Die?!" Shinya knelt down next to the apparently comatose
figure. "Daijoubu Die?"
".....mnhuyutguiasthmachicken....."
"..... Did you just say..... asthma chicken?"
"Sure, that'd be great....."
(~This is a drunk conversation I had with my friend....^^;; ~K)
"Baka, get up."
Grunting, he helped lift the larger man to his feet. Die slipped a
shoulder around Shinya's slim shoulders and leaned against him as
they walked to the exit. Pairs of eyes watched the couple as they
left, most of them undressing the delicate, feminine, vinyl clad
Shinya with their eyes. Shinya shuttered inwardly. He could feel
the perversion of the people like a palpable ooze in the air.
The cold hit them immediately as they stepped outside. It was the
middle of winter and a light snow had begun to fall. Not wanting to
lessen the effect of his carefully chosen outfit, Shinya hadn't
bothered to bring any sort of coat. Now he was mentally kicking his
own ass for overlooking this obviously necessary detail. Die had
been so surprised with Shinya, that he left his apartment without
grabbing a coat for himself either. Now he shivered and clung to the
other man.
"Shinyaaaaaaa..... it's so cold......" he slipped his arms around
Shinya's skinny waist and nuzzled into him. "Let's hurry neh..."
Shinya nodded and patted the top of Die's head."Un. Your place?"
"Mm." Came the muffled reply. Die had buried his face into Shinya's
shoulder.
Shinya grinned maliciously as they made their way to his car.
Almost time.
~~~~~~


End of the 1st part. I'm trying to get the nerve up to write a lemon
*^^* for the 2nd part. I haven't written one in like 2 years....
*deep breath*
Let me know what you all think so far, onegai shimasu!*bows and hands
out bribery cookies and Jrock plushies*

to be continued

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