The applause kept going on and on as AJ walked backstage.  His cast-mates gave him high-fives and hugs, and he returned them all with fervor.  He was sweating and all he really wanted to do was go home and take a shower.  AJ walked back to his dressing room, said his thank you’s and whatnot and made his way to his car.  He climbed in and popped on the radio.  He sung the whole way home.  AJ got home and saw that Rick was gone.  There was a note on the fridge that said,

He took a deep breath and walked over to the couch.   He sat down and thought about calling her.  He knew he wanted to, but he didn’t know if he should.   AJ shook his head and  quickly punched in her numbers.  He lit a cigarette while he waited, and his heart stopped when he heard the phone pick up.

     “Hello?” said Chrissy.

     “Hey, what’s up?”  AJ asked.  Chrissy let out a small sigh.

     “I was wondering if you were gonna call me back,” she said.

     “Sorry, it’s just been so hectic around here,” he said as he let out a plume of smoke. AJ wondered how she looked.  He imagined she was sitting in her warm-up pants and a gray sweatshirt with her hair up in a messy bun.  He loved her that way.

     “Yeah, I can imagine,” she whispered.  They both sat quietly on the phone and hoped the other one would say something soon.  AJ kept smoking and Chrissy fiddled with the phone chord.

     “So,” AJ said.  Chrissy chuckled.

     “So,”

     “So, it’s been a while since I’ve talked to you,” he said.  He didn’t exactly want to get into an argument or even any discussion of their relationship, but he didn’t know what else to say.

     “Yeah, I know,” Chrissy trailed off.  They both sat with their phones in hand and didn’t say a thing.  Chrissy was blinking rapidly to avoid the tears that were just bursting to run down her cheeks.  She coughed.  “I miss you,” she said.

     “You do?” AJ asked.

     “Of course I do Alex.”  AJ smiled when he heard her say that.  He took another drag off his cigarette and let that soak into his brain.

     “Chrissy I-“ he began.  He tried to say it again, but nothing more than the first two words would come out of his mouth.

     “What Alex?” she asked.  She bit the inside of cheek and wrapped the phone chord around her fingers again.

     “Chrissy I…I think…goddamn, what the hell am I trying to say?” he laughed.  Chrissy laughed too.

     “I don’t know Alex.  C’mon, just tell me what you want to say.”  AJ put out his cigarette and sat back on the couch.

     “Well, you were saying that you miss me,” he said.

     “Yeah,” Chrissy said.

     “Well, I miss you too.  I miss you a lot,” AJ said.  Chrissy sat with her mouth open trying to form a word, but she couldn’t.  AJ just sat quietly and waited for her to say something.  “I don’t like the way we left things, ya know?”  He heard Chrissy take in a sharp breath.

     “Yeah,” she whispered.

     “I don’t know what to do with this missing you thing, Chris.”  Chrissy sat with her mouth open.  “Chris?” AJ asked.

     “Still here,” she said.  Chrissy got up off the couch and picked up the phone, she was too hyper at the moment to sit down.  “I don’t know what to do about it either,” she said.  AJ sighed.
 

     “Don’t take this the wrong way, but I don’t wanna miss you,” he said.

     “What do you mean?”

     “I thought if I moved here and got busy, I wouldn’t think about you.  But, I guess I’m not the type of person to just stop thinking about people. Or maybe you’re just not so easy to forget.   I don’t want to miss you Chrissy.  I wish I didn’t think about you, but I do,” he said.  AJ grabbed his pack of cigarettes and pulled another one from the pack and lit it.

     “Well…” Chrissy trailed off.  She paced around her living room for a second and then sat back down on the couch.

    “Alex I…” she began again.  “Damnit,” she muttered.  “Alex, can I say I’m glad that you miss me?”

     “Yeah, you can Chris,” he said.

     “Good.  Listen Alex, I know, you haven’t forgiven me, and I totally understand that.  But where does it say we can’t be friends?  Where does it say we can’t start over?”  Chrissy bit her lip and waited for AJ’s response.  They both sat silently.  AJ took long drags off his cigarette and thought about what she said.  “Alex?”

     “I don’t know if I want to have a real relationship with you Chrissy,” he said.

     “Oh,” Chrissy whispered.

     “But, I still care about you.  I can’t just walk around here knowing that we still care about each other.  I want to have something with you Chrissy, I’m just not sure what,” he said.  Chrissy sighed loudly and they both waited for the other to speak.  Finally, Chrissy spoke up.

     “Well, I know I love you Alex,” she said.  AJ began to pick at his thumbs again.  “I know I love you, and I know now how much I hurt you.  I’m not asking you to take me back and forget this ever happened.  God knows I’m not going to forget.  But, Alex, you ever just know…do you ever just know that someone is meant to be in your life?  That someone is supposed to come into your life and make you feel things you never felt.  They’re supposed to make you the best that you can be.  Alex, I know that about you,” she said.  AJ blinked back tears and took a drag off his cigarette.  He swallowed and coughed.

     “I…I don’t even know what to say to that,” he whispered.

     “Alex, I want to be in your life.  I want you to be in mine,” Chrissy said.

     “It’s just not that easy Chrissy,” he said.

     “I know it’s not, but I don’t think it’s supposed to be.  I’m not asking for a relationship like we had before.  I know I lost the right to wake up to you in the morning, and go to sleep with you at night.  I know I did, and believe me, I’d give anything to take all of that back. But, I can’t, and I have to deal with that.  But, Alex, I just want to be in your life.  I want to be the phone call when you hear good news.  I want to be the person you email just to say ‘Hey’ and you were thinkin’ of me.  Alex, I just want your friendship.”  Chrissy sighed and waited for AJ’s response.

     “Chrissy…” he said.  He put out his cigarette and shook his head.  “I want you to be that person too,” he said.  His words hit Chrissy like a ton of bricks.  She felt like someone had socked her in the stomach and told her the best news in the world, all at the same time.  She smiled through the tears that ran down her face.

     “Really?” she squeaked out.

     “Yeah, really,” he said.

     “Thank you.  I know, I don’t deserve it, but thank you,” she said through her tears.  AJ shrugged.

     “I know you’re here for a reason Chrissy.  I know what happened between us happened for some reason.  Maybe in the long run, this could turn out to be something really good,” he said.  Chrissy smiled.

     “I hope so Alex,” she said.

     “Me too Chrissy.”
 
 

Lyrics Taken From:
"Crazy" K-Ci & Jojo
Written by: Hailey
© 2000 MCA