“It’s just not going to work out.  I’m bored with this, and I’m bored with you,” she said as she reached for the doorknob.  AJ’s eyes began to fill with tears.  He shook his head violently and grabbed her arm.

     “No! You can’t leave like this!  I thought you loved me,” he said.  He stared into her eyes and saw no recognition of the love they shared together.

     “People change.  I changed, you changed.  This just doesn’t work for me anymore.  We’re young.  We’re intelligent.  We’ve got things going for ourselves and I can’t have you holding me down anymore,” she said icily.  She stood with her hands on her hips and waited for AJ’s retort.

     “I love you Maria, don’t you get that?  We can make this work.  I’ve given up so much to be with you,” he said as his voice began to tremble.  His stomach was turning into one big knot and his jaw was clenching tightly.

     “Alexander, you gave up a lot, but I never asked you to.  You are the one who thought we’d last forever, I didn’t expect us to get past three months, let alone two years.  I can’t be tied down for that long, I’m just not that kind of girl,” she said as she tried to loosen AJ’s grip off her arm.    AJ just stared at her and wondered where he’d gone wrong.

     “Why are you being like this baby?” AJ asked.

     “Don’t call me “Baby”.  I’m not your “Baby” anymore,” Maria spat out.

     “Please, just tell me what I can do to make things better,” he begged as he tried to pull her in close to him.  She squirmed.

     “God, please, stop!  Don’t you get it? It’s over Alexander!” Maria threw AJ’s hands off of her and opened the door.  AJ slammed it shut.

     “Alexander, you’re scaring me! Stop!”

     “No Maria! I’m not letting you leave.  You can’t leave things like this!  Baby, please, just stay and we’ll talk….”

     “It’s over! I’m leaving.  I don’t love you anymore!”

     “Maria, please, don’t do this,” he begged.  She shook her head at him and pulled away.

     “But, I love you,” he said defeatedly.

     “Well, love just isn’t enough,” she said as she made her way out the door.
 

        AJ lie in bed with tears rolling down his face as he remembered the last time he ever saw Maria.  The break-up was pretty bad, he had been so hurt and angry and had no place to place the anger that  built up inside of him.  After Maria left, he punched a hole in the wall. He had been so in love with Maria and could not imagine his life without her, it was obvious she felt differently about the whole situation.  AJ thought back to the first day they met.  They had been introduced to each other through a mutual friend, Dani, and from the very first minute, AJ was crazy about her, he could think of nothing but her and the only thing that really made him happy was when he was with her.  Maria’s smile lit up AJ’s entire day, when she was upset, he was upset.  AJ hadn’t really noticed any change in their relationship when Maria decided to break it off with him, and that’s what hurt him so much.    He was ready to give up all of his dreams and aspirations just to be with Maria, and in fact, he had. He was a musical theater major at UCF and his whole life was about auditions, and acting, and getting the right part.  When AJ was offered a role as Roger in the Broadway play “Rent”, he knew it was an offer he couldn’t pass up.  Anyone in theater knows what it’s like to audition for Broadway, but to actually get offered a part, and in “Rent”, one of the most highly acclaimed musicals, well that was something special.   It was something he had wanted so badly, but Maria had her heart set on staying in Florida and finishing her schooling.  When AJ was offered the part the first person he wanted to tell was Maria.   He remembered her reaction like it was yesterday.

    “Baby, I’ve got some huge news!”

    “What?”  She looked past him as she sat on the couch braiding her long black hair into pigtails.  AJ was so excited he could barely contain himself any longer.

    “I got the part!” he said as he practically jumped up and down.

    “What part?” she said flatly.

    “Roger…” AJ said with a hint of pain in his voice.

    “Roger?”

    “C’mon baby, you know… “Rent”! On Broadway!” AJ had a smile that spread a across his face from ear to ear.  As he let the last word out of his mouth come out, he saw Maria’s face fall.

    “Broadway?” she said.  “That’s New York, right?”  AJ nodded.

    “Yeah, New York! The Great White Way! Isn’t it great???”

    “Alexander, Broadway is so challenging.  Are you sure you’re up for that challenge?” she said as she got up off the couch.  AJ felt his heart drop.

    “What?”

    “Broadway is for real actors.  Face it Alex, you live in Orlando.  You work at Disney World.  The Main Street Parade is not Broadway,” she said.  Every word out of her mouth felt like daggers in AJ’s heart and pride.

    “They picked me, they must think I can do it,” he said.

    “Baby, I know you’re good.  But, I just don’t want you to get hurt in New York.  I hate it when you’re hurt,” Maria said as she wrapped her arms around his small, muscular waist.

    “I’ll never know unless I try,” he said.

    “Do a few more plays around here Alexander.  Perfect your craft, and then audition again.  Broadway isn’t going anywhere,” she whispered as she kissed his neck in a sultry manner.  Maria wrapped her arms tightly around AJ’s waist and continued to nuzzle on his neck.  AJ could feel himself start to waiver on the Broadway idea.

    “Yeah, you’re right, it isn’t.  And, I am only twenty one.  I don’t think I could handle those demands,” he said.  He began rub Maria’s back a little and then she kissed him on the mouth.

    “Broadway can wait, baby,” she said as he lifted her up into his arms and carried her to the bedroom.

       I gave up everything for her, he thought as he finished the memory.  He rolled over on his side and searched for his pack of cigarettes.  AJ lit it and took a long drag letting out frustrations along with the smoke.  It’s not fair.  She moved on, she’s happy.  I threw away everything for her, and now look at me.  I’ll never do that again.  I swear.  He laid on his bed and thought more about Maria.  People had always told AJ that she was not good for him.  She always got her way.  Whatever she wanted, he always went out of his way to get for her.  People always told me that she was a bitch, but I never listened.  Why was I so fucking stupid?  Why didn't I listen?

 AJ sat down at the counter and looked at the phone.  He drummed his fingers on the counter and thought about Dani.  I need to talk to her, he thought as he picked up the phone and began dialing in her familiar numbers.  AJ listened to the other line ring and ring.

     “C’mon woman, pick up!” he muttered under his breath.  Finally, Dani picked up and AJ smiled.

     “Hey woman! What’s up?”

     "She isn't here for the hundredth time, so stop calling," said the voice on the other end.  AJ was taken aback.

     “Uhhh, is Dani there?” he asked almost afraid of the answer.

     “Who’s this?” the voice asked quizically.

     “This is her friend AJ.  Who is this?”  AJ was getting a little upset.  His patience was wearing thin.

     “Her sister,” said the voice on the other end with more than a hint of bitch in her voice.  “Just a second, I’ll go get her,” she said.  AJ rolled his eyes at Dani’s sister and waited for her to pick up the phone.  He heard a click on the phone and Dani’s voice.

     “Hello,” she said.

     “Woman, are you avoiding me?” said AJ with a teasing, cute tone in his voice.

     “Yes,” she said.

     “Oh then, I love you too,” he said flatly.

     “Oh, shut up!” Dani said as she giggled.  “You know I love you!  What have you been up to?  I’m sorry I haven’t called.”

     “I’ve been thinkin’ about stuff lately that I don’t really want to think about,” he said.

     “I know the feeling,” she said.  There was a long pause. “What’s wrong AJ? I haven’t heard you this down since…”  AJ drew in a sharp breath.

    “That’s why I’m down Dan.  I’ve been thinkin’ about “HER” all damn day,” he sighed.

     “Why AJ? All you do is torture yourself over her,” Dani said.  AJ sighed again and blinked back tears.

     “Torture is definitely the right word.”

     “God, I am so sorry I ever introduced you to that bitch, I really am,” said Dani with a hint of regret in her voice.

     “Dan,” AJ said as he smiled a little.  “It’s not your fault.  You didn’t know how she’d react in the situation we were in.”

     “I know I didn’t, but still, I feel guilty.  What’s eating at you?”  AJ thought about the previous nights events with Chrissy.

     “Last night I took this girl home, and we were chillin’ and then she kissed me.  It was nice at first, and then I freaked out.  I felt guilty and all I could think about was Maria.  Pretty fucked up,” he said sadly.

     "Don't let her do that to you AJ.  That poor girl probably thinks you're insane now!  FORGET ABOUT MARIA.  She isn't worth it  'J, she isn't worth anything!"  AJ sighed again.

     “I know.  I keep telling myself over and over again that it’s a good thing that it’s over, but I just can’t let her go so easily.” AJ’s voice was beginning to tremble.

     “AJ,” said Dani.  Her voice was soothing and comforting, yet at the same time, there was some sadness resonating in her tone.  AJ shook his head.

     “Well, I’ll be okay Dan.  Anyway, onto better things.  How are you?”  AJ was blinking back tears and fidgeting with a lighter that was on the counter.

     “You can’t change the subject with me that easily!” said Dani.  AJ closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

     “Dan, I’ll be okay.  I didn’t call to dump all over you and not see what you’re up to,” he said.

     "No, you called cause you needed someone to talk to.  I wish I could help, I'm sorry."  AJ smiled at her thoughtfulness.

     “Dan, you do help.  You’re listening to me and sometimes, that’s all I need.”

     “Well my life sucks at the moment, if that’s any consolation,” she said.  AJ frowned.

     “Well then, you must tell me what’s wrong!  C’mon, tell AJ! He needs to know!” he said playfully.  Dani laughed a little.

     “You just wanna feel better hearing my shit,” she said.

     “Well, yeah,” AJ said laughing.

     "I saw Brian the other day.  He told me he'd call, but well here I sit patiently waiting as usual," she said.

     “Dan, how many times have I told you? Boys suck! I should know! I am one!”

     “Baby, you’re all man!” AJ could hear a loud laugh coming from Dani.  He smiled a little.

     “Funny, real funny.  Anyway, why are you waiting for him to call? Don’t wait,” he said.

     “AJ, if he calls I know we'll be friends again, and I need that.  But if he doesn't I don't know what I'll do."

     “If he doesn’t call you and he doesn’t want your friendship, it’s his loss Dan.”

     “Easy for you to say, you aren’t in love with the guy,” she said.  AJ nodded.

     “True.  But, I know what it’s like to have you as a friend.  And, if he doesn’t even want that anymore, then, he’s a jerk.”

     “So full of compliments.  What’s the catch?” she says coyly.  AJ rolled his eyes.  She always played games with him when he was trying to be serious.

     “Can’t I compliment one of my most favorite people in the world?”

     “Okay, you want something.  What is it?”  AJ rolled his eyes again.

     “Damnit Dan! I don’t want anything.  Just because I’m an actor doesn’t mean I’m always playing some stupid role!”

     “AJ, I was kidding,” Dani said. AJ’s mood swing obviously  freaked her out.

     “I’m sorry.  You know what, I think I’m just gonna go.”

     “AJ, I’m sorry. Call me if you need me, okay?”  AJ nodded.

     “Dan, don’t worry about me.  It’s just a shitty day.  I’ll call you later! I love you girl!  Take care,” he said.

     “I always worry about you.  Bye AJ,” AJ muttered a goodbye and hung up the phone.  He stared at his hands on the counter.  I can’t let her do this to me anymore.  It hurts too much, and I don’t need this.  He stood up from his chair and decided he was hungry.  He looked in the fridge, but in usual AJ style, there was nothing in there but some mold and beer.  AJ thought about what he could do when a smile appeared on his face, he walked over and got his keys and made his way out the door.