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~*~
"You are sickened by the weakness
Of a heart that's filled with fear...
Cause there's a dark secret
You carry with you."
~*~
"Tell me what?" Dani reiterated, her voice angrier this time. They still stared at her with identical faces, their eyes bulging wide in surprise and their skin white with terror like she was wielding a knife.
"What do you mean Dani?" Her sister asked, trying to shake off whatever reaction Dani's sudden appearance had caused, smiling with an unconvincing grin.
"You know what I mean Lauren." Dani looked at Brian, who's face still held the fear her entrance had caused. "Brian what can't you tell me?"
"What makes you think we were talking about you?" Lauren yelled defensively. Dani ignored her, she could see something in Brian's eyes.
"Brian?" She pleaded. He got up off his seat at the kitchen table and faced her. Dani was trying so hard not to cry, his eyes were telling her that was he was going to say was going to hurt, badly.
"Come on, we need to talk." He said flatly, sliding out of the chair and moving to Dani's side.
"Br..." Lauren began, shooting him a nervous look.
"Shut up Lauren, you've done enough." He said sternly, guiding Dani from the room with a gentle touch on the small of her back. They went outside and sat in Brian's car, the only place he could guarantee them any privacy. He sat quietly, staring straight ahead, refusing to look at her. Dani heard him swallow, she could feel the tension between them but she didn't dare say anything. The miinute one of them spoke her life would be spun out of control, she knew it would be, and her whole body shook with worry. Brian turned the radio on in the car, trying to break the monotony of their quietness, but nothing was going to distract Dani from what she'd heard tonight, or the small tidbits of meaningless conversations she'd heard Lauren have in the past that were now coming to fruition.
"Are you seeing my sister?" Dani suddenly blurted out, her anxiousnes getting the better of her. She was sitting as close to the door as she could possibly get, ready to make a quick escape if the humility of the situation got too bad. He's seeing my sister, was the only thought that entered her mind. I'm in love with him and he loves my sister, could life be any more unfair? She wondered, shaking her head and dreading Brian's answer knowing her worst fear had come to life. In fact this was worse than her worst fear, because she never in a million years imagined this.
"Dan. Remember, last night I told you I let you go." Dani nodded. He was being so serious and nice, it wasn't like him, oh god I'm right, he's gonna rip my heart out of my chest I can feel it coming. "I let you go because I thought I was the reason you were leaving."
Did Lauren tell him I was in love with him? Her mind screamed, I'll kill her.
"What do you mean?" Dani asked.
"I mean something happened that I thought made you decide to leave."
"What?"
"Do you remember the party Matt had that summer before everyone went back to College?" Dani shook her head. "You had to work and couldn't get out of it. I remember you were so mad because you hadn't seen any of our high school friends in the longest time and this was like your last chance to see them. It was like the week before you left, do you know what I'm talking about?"
"Vaguely." She sighed.
"Well it just started out with a few old friends, people telling stories about school and trips and things like that, but then it was like everyone was there. A lot of really messed up things happened that night, I said and did a lot of things I really regretted the next day, and things got out of control."
"Get to the point Brian."
"Okay to make a really long story short, something happened with Lauren and I that night." He said nervously.
"You've been seeing my sister for five years?" Dani yelled.
"No Dani, that's not what I'm saying." She looked into his eyes, still visibly blue even in the darkened car. She saw the turmoil and the stress telling this to her was producing. Dani's own eyes grew wide.
"YOU FUCKED MY SISTER?" She screamed, louder than she ever thought she could. Brian only hung his head. Dani grabbed the scruff of his shirt, making him turn her way. "Brian. Did you sleep with my sister."
"Dani, let me explain." He said pleadingly, everything in his body language told her it was true. Dani shook her head violently, the cold sharp knife of betrayal was slicing into her back.
"I don't need an explanation Brian, really. You had sex with Lauren, it doesn't really concern me." She said delusionally, opening the car door and stomping towards the house, the tears burning behind her eyelids threatening to explode, but she wouldn't let them.
"Dan,
wait!" Brian called, opening the drivers side door and jumping out.
Dani was inside before he could even shut the car door, her sister jumping
back from her perched view at the window. She ran up the stairs
taking them two at a time, and threw herself down on her bed after shutting
her bedroom door.
~*~
Lauren jumped back from the window as her sister bolted in the front door. her heart stopped momentarily with the impending lashing her sister was going to give her, but instead Dani just bolted up the stairs; oblivious to her. Lauren turned to see Brian fly in the door as well, looking around trying to decide what direction she took.
"Where is she Laur?" He asked breathlessly.
"Upstairs. But wait, I want to talk to you." she said placing hr hands on his chest. he stepped back from her, like her touch could only bring bad things.
"What did you tell her?" Lauren asked holding him back from going upstairs.
"I told her what happened." he said angrily
"What did she say?"
"Not much. She said she didn't need an explanation cause it didn't concern her then she took off running."
"What exactly did you tell her?"
"I told her we slept together Lauren." He spat. "Although I haven't had a chance to tell her exactly how it happened, maybe you should tell her that part Lauren." He said angrily.
"Look, I was content not telling her at all, you Mr. Honesty had to go and ruin everything. I told you you'd screw up all of our lives. She's never gonna forgive me, you do know that don't you?" She still blocked his way to the staircase.
"Get over yourself Lauren. I wasn't gonna lie to her anymore, she's my best friend, I couldn't do it."
"Was Brian. She hasn't been your friend for a long time."
"No thanks to you."
"You're blaming this on me?" She screamed. He looked at her with a raised eyebrow.
"We both know what happened that night, and well she must have heard you t talking about it or something. Why else would she decide to move like a week after it happened?"
"You think that's why she left? God, for someone so smart you are such a fucking idiot." She snickered condescendingly. "If she already knew, then why did she trip out tonight Brian?"
"I don't know." He sighed in frustration, only wanting to go talk to Dani and explain things, but being held at bay by her conniving sister.
"You don't know much." She spat, pushing Brian back. "Go home, you've done enough here, and besides she won't want to talk to you, you know how Dani gets when she's angry." Finally Brian relented, stepping back from Lauren towards the still open front door.
"Fine. I'll go, but tell her I still need to talk."
"I'll think about it."
"You're a real bitch ya know."
"And your bad in bed." She shrugged.
"Mature
Lauren." He said, walking dejectedly from the house to his car, turning
his head to look up at the window of Dani's room. How am I ever
going to explain this to her? He wondered. I wish none
of this had ever happened.
~*~
Lauren trudged her way up the stairs. Bastard, she thought. Why did he have to go and tell her? Everything was fine when she didn't know. I knew this would happen when she come home, what the hell was I thinking trying to convince her to call him?
"Dani, are you gonna let me explain?" Lauren whispered through the wooden door, glad her parents hadn't been home to witness any of this. That's the last thing I need, is for them to find any of this out, she thought. They already think I'm the bad child. Her sister didn't answer. "Dani let me in!" She yelled.
"FUCK YOU!" Was the muffled response she got. "Or better yet Fuck Brian...oh wait, you already have."
"I'm coming in." She said, hesitantly turning the handle, fear of flying objects looming in her head.
"Lauren, get out! I'm not in any mood to see you right now." Dani said before she had even stepped in room. Lauren entered regardless, expecting a crying and distraught sister, the one she used to see when Brian had broken her heart yet again. What she got, was a very different Dani, disturbing almost. Instead of tears and sadness in her eyes, she saw fiery red anger, that seemed to boil in her eyes. Her hands were clenched tightly, and she sat on her bed, knees pulled to her chest rocking almost methodically.
"Do you really want to hear what I want to say to you?"
"Dan, just let me explain." Lauren said, shutting the door behind her, just in case her parents did return home.
"I do not want to hear it."
"It was an accident." She pleaded, coming closer and sitting down the end of the bed.
"An ACCIDENT?!" She yelled, her head swinging around violently to face her sister. :" What? You accidentally fell on his penis?" She screamed bitterly.
"No, I mean it just happened, we didn't intend on it happening, he was just so sweet and well you know how nice Brian can be." She said, her words drifting off. "It was a long time ago, do you have to be so mad about it Dani?" She said with the naivety of someone much younger.
"Lauren, how could you. You knew!"
"I knew what?" She said stupidly..
"You knew how much I loved Brian. You knew what seeing him with other women did to me, much less when that other woman is my sister. How could you do that to me?"
"I was stupid, I wasn't thinking. I don't know. But if it's any consolation I wish none of this had ever happened."
"Sleeping with Brian or me finding out?" Dani asked, her sister paused for a moment.
"Both." She finally admitted.
"Get out Lauren, I don't want to look at you."
"Will you ever forgive me?"
"I don't know,"
"How could you not know?"
"I don't trust you anymore Lauren. I might never trust you again." She said, her voice cracking with emotion. "I don't know if I can forgive you, when right now I don't even like you. Leave!" She looked away from her sister.
"Why does it bother you, you said you were over him." Lauren said with annoyance, getting off the bed and backing out of the room when her sister failed to respond. "I'm sorry Dan. I really am." Lauren said as she shut the door behind herself
It's a little too
late for sorry Lauren, like five years too late, and I'm not over him,
not at all. She thought, curling up into the fetal position,
hugging her pillow tight and staring out the window at the crescent moon
that shone in. I wish none of this had ever happened.
~*~
"and deep inside the way you hate them
on the outside doesn't show..."