Nick and Annie were at Annie’s door and she was about to go in when Nick grabbed her and said,

    “C’mere,” and kissed her passionately.  Everything inside of Annie melted and she thought she could stay there with him like that forever.  Annie broke away from the kiss,

    “Hold on there Tonto,” she said and giggled.  Nick rolled his eyes and smiled at Annie.

    “So, uh…” he stuttered.  “So, uhhh….what?” Annie asked.  Nick’s eyes shifted a bit and then he finally asked,

    “So, how about going out with me?”  Annie giggled a little and said,

    “Carter, we go out all the time!”  Nick gave her an annoyed look and said,

    “No Ann, I mean, like on date.”  Annie giggled again, and smiled at Nick.

    “Nick, I’d love to,” she said happily.  Nick smiled at her and pulled Annie in for another kiss. This one was sweet and short.  Annie smiled at Nick and said

    “Bye” and walked into her room.  She leaned against her door and sighed a happy sigh.  Annie threw her jacket on the chair at her desk and grabbed her journal and plopped down on her bed.  She began flipping through the pages and began reading some of it.

    I wish I could tell Brooke all that Nick is to me and why.  I wish I could just tell her what happened with Paul.  It’s killing me not talking to Brooke.  I’m such an idiot.  She’s gonna quit talking to me if I don’t write back to her, but everytime I try to write back, I just don’t know what to say.  I wanna tell her I’m fine.  I wanna tell her how Nick is so amazing, but that would all be just beating around the bush.  I need to tell her what happened with Paul.  She’ll never understand now why I’m talking to Nick and not to her though.  Nick saved me.  Brooke can’t be here because she’s so far away, but I know she’d feel guilty if she knew about Paul and there was nothing she could have done about it.  I wish I knew what to do.  I wish I could pick up the goddamn phone and tell her everything.  I wish she was here.  I wish I was there.  Oh fuck it…
 

Annie’s eyes welled up with tears when she thought of Brooke.  She missed her so much, and she knew she was ruining everything by not communicating with Brooke.  She knew she needed to tell Brooke about Nick and what he did for her.  Annie also knew that Brooke needed to know about Paul and what happened, but she just couldn’t bring herself to do it.  It wasn’t like she favored Nick over Brooke.  Brooke was her best friend in the whole entire world and cherished her more than anything else.

    “I need to talk to her,” Annie mumbled as she began flipping to an empty page.  She came across the last page she had written on when she noticed the entry.
 

    “Anns,” she began reading when Taylor walked in.  Annie looked up from her page and said,

    “Hey,” to Taylor.  Taylor looked at Annie and said giddily,

    “Annie Whitten, why did you not tell me about your cute as hell brother???”  Annie stared at Taylor and said,

    “Brother? I don’t have a brother.” Annie was clueless.  Taylor’s face got a puzzled look on it and she said,

    “Well, there was some guy who said he was your brother.  Paul…I think that was his name,” Taylor replied.  Annie’s heart sank and her eyes popped wide.

    “WHAT?!” Annie yelled excitedly.

    “He said his name was Paul, and that your mom was really sick.  I told him he could stay and wait for you to come back,” Taylor replied.  Annie’s eyes began getting teary.

    “Paul? P-P-Paul? He was in here?” Annie stuttered.

    “Yeah, why?” asked Taylor.  Annie looked around her room.  All of the sudden she felt very unsafe in the room and needed to get out.  She jumped off the bed and said,

    “I’ll be at Nick’s,” and raced out the door.
 

Bang! Bang! Bang! Annie knocked furiously on Nick’s door.  Nick opened the door and smiled at Annie.

    “Hey,” he said,

    “Just couldn’t stay away could you?” Annie’s eyes looked frightened.

    “Hey, what’s wrong?” Nick asked as he pulled Annie inside the room.  Annie was shaking.

    “Ann? Why are you shaking?”  Annie took a deep breath and said,

    “Paul was in my room today.”  Nick’s eyes got wide and his stomach tightened.

    “What?” he asked.  Annie bottom lip started trembling.

    “Paul…was…” she managed to get out.

    “Paul was in your room? How the hell did he even know where you lived?” Nick questioned.

Annie shook her head to signal she didn’t know.  She sat down on Nick’s bed and looked aimlessly at the journal she’d carried from her room.  Nick sat down next to her on the bed and put one arm around her shoulder and hugged her tightly.

    “Are you okay?” Nick asked.  Annie shook her head no.  She leaned on Nick for a second, then curled up into a little ball on his bed, placing her head in his lap.  Nick rubbed her head a little and said nothing.
 

A little later Annie was sitting on the floor of Nick’s dorm room when she wanted to write something in her journal.  She began fanning through the pages and noticed her last entry, or what she thought was her last entry.  She began to read it:
 

Anns,
Maybe you shouldn’t keep your journal where people can stroll into your room and see it…just a thought baby.
                                                                          Paul
 

Annie dropped the book and screamed.  She began sobbing hard and kept wailing until Nick ran in the room to see what was going on.

    “What?” he said excitedly.  Annie threw the journal at him.

    “Annie? What is going on?” Nick was confused.

    “Read the last entry,” Annie wailed.  Nick started flipping through the pages and came to the last entry.  His stomach tightened and his jaw clenched tightly.

    “He wrote in your journal,” Nick said matter of factly.  Annie nodded her head and began sobbing again.  Nick walked over to Annie and sat down next to her.

    “Are you okay?” he questioned.  Annie looked at Nick and shook her head no.

    “Nick, I can’t stay in my room anymore.  He knows where I am, and he obviously knows what’s going on with me.  I can’t go back there,” she sobbed.  Nick put his arm around Annie and tried to comfort her.

    “Honey, it’s okay.  You can stay here if you want,” Nick said.  He put one arm around her and began rubbing her arm in hopes that it would comfort her.

    “Nick, why is he doing this to me?” Annie wailed.

    “I don’t know Ann…” was all Nick could say.
 

Brooke sat impatiently at the bottom of the stairs in her apartment building waiting for the mail to arrive, like she had almost every day since she had sent her last letter to Annie.

    "Sorry dear, nothing from California."  Bob, her mailman had told her just yesterday as he handed her the usual junk mail and bills and saw the dejected look that had come over her face.  Today was no different, her foot tapped incessantly and her fingernails had been bitten down as far as they could go, she didn't know how much longer she could wait for Bob to get here.  Brooke looked at her watch, jumping as the cordless phone sitting beside her rang simultaneously.

    "Hello?"  She answered, who's calling me at eight in the morning? She wondered.

    "Hey baby." She heard Kevin's deep voice say on the other end.  Brooke breathed a sigh, it was always so good to hear from him, and the way he had begun calling her 'baby' melted her into a puddle.

    "Hi.  What are you doing calling me so early?  You know I'm never up at this hour."  She quipped with a smile.

    "I know you better than you think Brooklyn.  I know you're sitting in the stairwell waiting for the mail, and I bet you've been looking at your watch every two seconds because of it."

    "What are you spying on me?"  She laughed, knowing she had told him her ritual.

    "Yes I am.  No seriously Brooke, don't worry so much, her letter will come."  Brooke wanted to believe him, but she was losing hope.

    "How long until you come home again?"  She asked, wishing it were today.  She missed him like crazy even though they talked on a daily basis, she just longed to have him with her.

    "I'll be home on the sixteenth I think."  Kevin said excitedly, but he knew he'd be missing his first Valentine's day with her, and tried to avoid mentioning it, he really wanted to be home.

    "That seems like it's a year away."  she moaned.  She had tried to go visit Kevin on several occasions, but either his work had him wrapped up or hers did, and the short amount of time until he came home still seemed far away.  Their conversation was cut short when Brooke saw Bob's truck pull up next to her buliding.  She told Kevin to hold on and set the phone down on the step as Bob entered, the same expression on his face that he always had when he saw her sitting on the steps.  She held her breath as he reached into the mail sack.

    "Looks like today's your lucky day!" He exclaimed, Brooke's eyes growing wide with happiness.  "Not one bill, and a letter from California."  Brooke screamed with delight and bounded off the stairs to hug him.

    "Thank you, thank you, thank you." She squealed when he was finally able to hand her the mail.

    "I wish my girlfriends got that excited when I sent her mail, tell your fella he's a lucky man."

    Brooke didn't quite understand but nodded as he left, quickly dashing back to Kevin on the phone.

    "I'm back." She said, making her way back to her apartment.

    "What was he talking about.  A letter from your boyfriend?" He questioned, but she didn't answer.  "I told you it would come." He said smugly.

    "Brooke?"  He questioned again when she failed to answer.

    "Kevin, it's not from Annie.  It's from Nick."  The tone of her voice was frightened and distant.

    "Who's Nick?" He asked with a hint of jealousy.

    "I think it's one of Annie's friends, but I'm not sure." Brooke stared at the address on the front of the letter as she neared her door.  "I'm afraid to open it.  What if it's bad news?"

    "You'll never know until you open it." He assured.

    "I know."  She entered her apartment and immediately walked to her room, laying down on the bed.  Finally after a lot of persuasion from Kevin, she ripped it open.  Brooke pulled out the short one page piece of loose leaf and unfolded it carefully.  The phone was being held against her shoulder in the crook of her neck, Kevin sat silent on the other end.

    "It's from Annie's Nick."  She said aloud as she began reading.  Brooke's eyes filled with tears and a sob escaped her mouth as she read the line 'Paul has entered the picture'.

    "Baby, what is it?"  Kevin asked.  Brooke could barely speak as she tried to mumble a response.

    "He's back...the bastard...hurt her....he's back."

    "Brooke, calm down.  Take a deep breathe." She did.

    "Now tell me."  She swallowed hard and began.

    "Do you remember Paul from camp?"  She cried.

    "Yeah, blond guy.  He was a lifeguard or something right."

    "Right.  Well if you remember he was going out with Annie.  To make a long story short, he hurt her, more than you can imagine.  She finally got away from him and was getting as close to normal as she could get after all the shit she went through.  Nick said he's back in her life." Brooke dropped the phone and cried, burying her head in her hands, she didn't know what else to do.
 

    "Brooke, Brooke..."  She heard Kevin's muffled yells from the phone.

    "I'm sorry." She apologized as she picked up the phone again.

    "Don't be sorry.  Do you want me there Brooklyn?"  He asked, and as fast as she wanted him on the next flight to Kentucky, she declined.

    "No Kevin, finish what you have to do there.  I have to go to California okay, I have to find Annie." She decided.

    "I understand."  He said.  "It'll be okay Brooke, you'll find her and she'll be fine."

    "I hope you're right Kevin."  She sighed as they finished the conversation and hung up the phone.  Brooke immediately called the airports, finding a great deal on standby seats to L.A.  She packed a bag and drove to the airport, stopping only for a moment at her work to let them know she'd be out for a few days, she had told them a family emergency, but she hoped it wasn't as urgent as she was making it out to be.

Brooke sat in the window seat of the plane, the trip to California seemingly too long, especially with the transfer she had to make in Atlanta.  She put on her head phones and hoped she'd get there soon, although she had no idea where Annie was.  After nearly two hours they finally arrived in Atlanta and Brooke quickly boarded the other plane that would take her to LA.   She planted herself in her seat,  put her walkman back on, and pulled Nick's letter from the pocket of her jeans.

    "Why couldn't she write or call me?"  Brooke wondered, she didn't understand, she thought she knew Annie, she thought she would always be the one that could help her, but this time she wasn't.  Brooke re-read the lines of his letter over and over again, Brooke knew what it was like to lose Annie to watch her spirit be broken bit by bit, if Nick could only know how she was before all of this, so full of life and just the most amazing and funny person to be around.  But Paul had taken it or  he had shoved it so deep inside her Brooke wondered of the Annie she knew and loved would ever return.

The more Brooke read and thought about Nick's letter the more upset she became, finally being forced to put it away.  She shut her eyes and lay back on the head rest, listening to the tape she had made for her car a few weeks ago, relaxing to the slow music.  Brooke lost all her composure as she listened to Alanis Morrisette's "That I would be Good" one line in the song, sending huge tear drops rolling down her cheek.  She rewound it, listening again and again,

'that I would be loved even when I numb myself'

That's what she's doing, she's numbing herself to everyone and everything, shutting everything out just like she did before.  But what happened?   Why is Paul around?  She wouldn't start seeing him again?   Although that might explain why she won't talk to me. God I need to know, and she needs to know she is loved, dammit hurry up I need to find Annie.  Brooke's mind screamed as the plane continued westward to California.