Annie was walking back to Nick’s dorm room after her class.

    “Damn, that was long and highly unneeded,” she thought.  She began to quicken her pace because she knew she was going to see Nick soon.  The more Annie thought about Nick, the more she was realizing what her feelings were towards him.  He was taking care of her in a way she could never have imagined, and no matter how hard things were or how bad they had gotten, he was there for her.   She loved the feeling of waking up in his arms in the morning and going to sleep with her head on his chest at night; it made her feel so safe and  Annie hadn’t felt safe in so long.  She had arrived at her “home” and trudged up the stairs,  opening the door to see the two most important people in her life sitting in the room, Brooke and Nick.  Annie was stunned.

    “Brooke!” said a shocked Annie.  She could feel tears welling up in her eyes and guilt overtaking every pore in her body.  Annie hadn’t written or spoken to Brooke in over a month and now here she was face to face with her.  Brooke just sat stonefaced on Nick’s bed and didn’t utter a word.  The three of them all just stared back and forth at each other, until Nick broke the silence.

    “Hey Ann, how was your class?” he asked trying to start up something.  Annie just nodded her head as if to say it was okay.

    “What are you doing here Brooke?” Annie questioned.  She was so nervous and so shocked that Brooke was there.  Brooke glanced over at Nick and then asked,

    “What do you think I’m doing here?”  Annie’s eyes got wide and her jaw clenched tightly.  She dropped her bookbag and asked

    “Nick, may I see you outside?”  Nick looked at Brooke pleadingly but got up off the bed and followed Annie outside.  He shut the door behind him and waited for the punishment to begin.
 
    “What is she doing here Nick?” Annie questioned.  Tears were forming in her eyes and she was trying to do everything she could to hold them back.

    “Annie, she’s your best friend,” Nick said trying to calm her down.  Annie closed her eyes in an effort to stop the tears from falling.  Nick reached out and touched her face. “Hon, she’s your best friend,” he said quietly.

    “What did you tell her?” Annie asked bitterly as she threw his hand off her face.  Nick’s stomach started to get queasy.  He knew that if he told her all that he had told Brooke, she’d be really, really upset.

    “What did you tell her Nick?” Annie reiterated again, a little louder this time.

    “Honey, I told her what I had to tell her,” Nick said trying to shush Annie.

    “Goddamnit Nick!” Annie cried.  Nick took ahold of Annie’s arms,

    “Ann, she’s your best friend.  I wrote her a letter because  I’m all out of ideas.  I can’t help you,” Nick implored.  Annie’s tears were falling heavily down her face.  She wasn’t mad at Nick, but she was upset with herself that he had to be the one to tell Brooke what had happened.

    “I should have told her Nick,” Annie stated.  Just then, Brooke swung open the door,

    “Yeah you should have,” she said quietly.
 
Annie and Nick walked back inside of the room with Brooke.  Annie tried to regain a little of her composure, so she tried to start some sort of conversation.

    “Brookey, I’m so surprised to see you,” said Annie as she swallowed hard.

    “But, are you happy to see me?” asked Brooke somberly.  Annie didn’t know how to answer that question, so she didn’t say anything at all.  Inside, Annie was feeling two things: elation that her best friend was right in front of her, and overwhelming anger for Nick and Brooke.  She felt like she was being conspired against.  Annie walked over to Ryan’s bed and just sat down.  Brooke just stared at Annie, disbelieving that her friend might actually be brushing her off.  Brooke sat down next to Annie and turned herself to face Annie.

    “Annie what is going on? You told me all those years ago when we became friends that you never stop loving people, that we'd still be friends in twenty years no matter what I said,” Brooke whispered to Annie.  Annie stared at Brooke and her mind was screaming, Brooke, if I could just tell you everything I would, but I can’t.  I need you and I love you, but please understand!  Annie just sat there, letting tears fall.  Brooke grabbed Annie’s shoulders,

    “Do you remember that?” she said forcefully, choking back tears.  Annie nodded, but still said nothing.  Brooke was stunned, nothing was coming from Annie; she pressed on.

    “Well, I sure as hell do,” Brooke said confidently.  She looked Annie straight in the eyes and said,

    “You know what else I remember?  I remember having to force it out of you…all the shit Paul did to you the first time.  I also remember each and every day that you became less and less of who you really are.  I also gladly remember the day you finally left the son of a bitch,” she broke off.  Annie stared at Brooke.  She was right, Brooke had been there when she left him.  She had been there when it started happening with Paul, and the more Annie thought about it the more guilty she felt.
 
    Brooke felt helpless. Nothing she was saying was getting through to Annie, or so it seemed.  She wasn’t about to give up though.

    “What can I do this time Anns?  How can I get you back?” Brooke implored.  Annie held her head down and cried silently as she listened.  Brooke continued on,

    “I don’t want the you that’s here now.” Brooke grabbed Annie and made her turn to face her.

    “You aren’t Annie,” Brooke said.  Every word that Brooke was saying felt like a knife in Annie’s heart.  Annie needed to say something, but it wasn’t coming out.

    “You know what you are? You are sad, depressed and scared.  You have two friends in the whole entire world who you haven’t completely shoved out of you life yet,” Brooke choked out.  She stared Annie straight in the eyes again,

    “I’m barely in your life anymore, and I can bet that if Nick hadn’t been there when he was, he’d be a distant glimmer as well,” she said.  Annie looked down at the floor, and Brooke looked over at Nick.  She looked back at Annie.

    “Am I right?” Annie said nothing, but sobbed quietly.   Brooke was getting quite upset now.

    “Look!  I can barely evoke any emotion out of you at all.  Why don’t you yell and scream at me to shut up?!” Brooke’s voice was starting to raise, thus making Annie a little more upset.

    “Why don’t you hit me or do anything but cry?  Are you crying because you care what I’m saying to you? Or, are you crying because you don’t want to hear it?” Brooke was now sitting on her knees on the floor in front of Annie, grabbing her shoulders, shaking her a little.  Annie’s mind was screaming out to her, I want to tell you everything.  Please stop yelling at me.  I’m sorry, I’m sorry.  God Brookey, stop, please! But again, Annie said nothing.  Brooke looked in Annie’s eyes, but saw none of the old Annie she used to know.  She knew that the old one was hiding in there, and the person who was living her life wasn’t doing it justice.

    “For once Annie, in this shell of a life you are leading now, why don’t you stop dwelling on what happened with Paul and make yourself get over it?  If you don’t, he’ll win,” Brooke said quietly with tears in her eyes.  Annie sat stonefaced, but was thinking, Brooke, he’s already won.  He’s destroyed me, and the old me is gone.  Brooke waited for some reaction, but saw none, and ventured on.

    “He’ll be in the back of your mind for the rest of your life, waiting for you.  He knows he’s broken you Anns.  He knows he instills fear in you and until you get over it, until you become nothing, he won’t stop,” said Brooke.  She still had her hands on Annie’s shoulders, and Annie’s head was down now.

    “You can’t let him reduce you to nothing Anns,” even though in her heart, Brooke knew he’d already done that.  Annie’s mind screamed, Can’t you see Brooke?  I AM nothing.  He’s won!

    “I want my Annie back,” Brooke choked out.  This made Annie flinch, as well as Nick who was sitting opposite both of them listening the entire time.  Brooke continued on,

    “I want Nick to see you,” she said as she looked at Nick, who had tears running down his face by now.  Annie looked over at Nick, saw him crying and quickly put her head back down. “I want him to see the Annie I know is in there somewhere,” Brooke whispered quietly.  She grabbed Annie’s face roughly, forcing Annie to look her in the eyes,

    “Look at me,” Brooke said sternly.  She was getting more upset the more she went on.  Brooke was upset that absolutely no reaction was coming out of Annie besides crying.

    “The next time I do this Annie, I don’t want to see emptiness staring back at me,” Brooke said.  She looked at Annie and remembered her smiling. “I want to see you, my best friend in whole world, and I won’t give up looking for her until the day I die,” Brooke choked out.  Annie’s tears were flowing fast and heavy now.  Still, no words.

    “If she’s in there Annie, and she wants to be the person that is still writing me letters in twenty years, I suggest she come out very soon,” Brooke whispered quietly to Annie.  Annie just stared at the ground as the tears continued to fall.  This upset Brooke a lot.  She grabbed Annie tightly by the shoulders,

    “I’m not going to let you push me away.  I’m not going to let him take what little of you there is away from me! Do you hear me?” Brooke started to shake Annie.  Nothing from Annie.

    “Annie, are you listening?” Brooke yelled directly into her face, as tears flowed heavily down her face.  No response from Annie.

    “TALK TO ME!” Brooke screamed.  No words or movement came from Annie.  Brooke pushed her back defeatedly and plopped down on the bed next to Annie.  She placed her head in her hands and cried.
 
        Nick looked at Annie.  He had just been through probably one of the most intense experiences of his life, and was shocked to see that Annie had no reply.  Nick was actually upset and angry with Annie.

    “Annie?” he said sternly.  Annie didn’t move.

    “Aren’t you going to say anything Ann?” he asked her.  Annie nodded her head no and got up and left the room.  Nick’s heart sank as low as it could possibly sink.  Brooke looked at Annie walk out with disbelieving eyes.   The anger was building up inside her, but she was letting Annie walk out of the door, she just didn't know how much more she could take.  Nick looked out the window watching for Annie, he knew he should go out there after her, but he let her have some time.  Maybe if it all sinks in, she’ll come back and talk to us, he thought.  Brooke got up off the bed and sat down next to Nick.

    “Was it something you said?” he said half jokingly.  Brooke stared at Nick, and put her head down in her hands and sobbed.  Nothing she had said to Annie had sunk in, at least that’s what she felt anyway.  Brooke sobbed long and hard.  Nick looked at Brooke, and inched a little closer to her on the bed, feeling sorry for her and what she had just been through.  He put his arm around her shoulder and sat there listening to her cry, Nick was getting choked up as well.  Damnit, how could Annie do this?  he thought.  Nick squeezed Brooke a little tighter and said,

    “Well,  you tried.  I don’t know how much more we can do.”  Brooke looked at Nick and nodded her head a little.  She looked at Nick and sighed.

    “From the moment we met, we were friends.  We were destined to be friends even though we were so far apart,” said Brooke.  She was still crying, but continued on, “As hard as it is to keep in touch through mail and stuff, we did it, for three years, non-stop, until now.  I saw her through all that shit with Paul,” she cried.  Brooke looked down at her feet,

    “She helped me make one of the most difficult decisions of my life.  I thank God she didn’t tell me what to do, she just told me to do what I felt was right,” Brooke said to no one in particular.  She needed to talk, and it wouldn’t have really mattered if Nick was there or not.  Nick was listening though.  Brooke kept talking about Annie.

    “But,” she choked out, “if I don’t get her back, I don’t know what I’m gonna do.”
 
Suddenly, Brooke looked up at Nick and got a big smile on her face, her eyes glowing bright.

    “You should have seen her before this Nick.  No one could make you laugh harder or louder, and the things she said,” Brooke chuckled.

    “Oh my God, she seemed so innocent, but the things I’ve heard come out of her mouth could make a sailor blush,” laughed Brooke.  Nick laughed at this as well.  He knew Annie’s mouth and had been witness to several potentially embarrassing moments with her as well.  She never cared, and he loved that about her.  Brooke looked at Nick and said,

    “She was just crazy.”  Brooke’s smiled faded away,

    “But he took it all,” frowned Brooke.  “He killed Annie.  Paul killed everything good about her,” she said.  Brooke wasn’t crying anymore, and her voice was emotionless and she sounded drained.

    “There was still some of my Anns left before Paul came back, but he won, he took her from me…” her voice trailed off.  Nick squeezed his arm around Brooke again.

    “You were lucky to have known her the way she used to be,” said Nick.  He looked out at the window again.

    “I wish I could have known that side of her.  I thought I was lucky to have known someone as amazing as her, but now I realize how jealous I am of you,” Nick said sadly.  He looked at Brooke and asked her,

    “Will the Annie you knew ever become the Annie that I get to love? I love her so much now, but she’s fading away Brooke.  It’s killing me,” he broke off.  Tears streamed down his face and he just sat quietly on his bed with his arm still around Brooke.  They both just sat and cried with each other.
 

    “I’m sorry I’m such a disappointment to you two,” Annie said quietly.  Nick and Brooke both looked up in surprise.

    “Where did you go?” asked Nick.

    “Not far.  I heard everything you two said,” Annie said.  She had stopped crying now.  She now just looked sad and drained of any feeling or emotion.  Annie looked at Brooke.  She looked at Nick and asked him to leave the room because she needed a minute or two with Brooke.  Nick got up off the bed and said he’d be outside.  He gave Brooke a parting glance and looked at Annie quickly as he walked out of the room.
 
    “You know Brooke, people change.  That’s all I’ve done,” said Annie.  She was standing by the door with it half open.  She was a little scared of what Brooke might say, but at least she was speaking to her.  Brooke looked at Annie with cold eyes, sick of crying, and said,

    “You didn’t change yourself, he changed you.” Brooke looked at Annie,

    “You can’t tell me you like being this way, that you are happy being a shell of yourself,” she said bitterly.  Annie put her head down, and began looking at her shoes.  She was fighting back her tears but listened to Brooke.  Brooke continued on,

    “As much as you wish I didn’t Annie, I know you.  I love you.  I don’t want to see you this way anymore.  I've always been the strong one Annie, and I don't know if I can be anymore.”  Annie looked up at Brooke and let the tears fall.  Annie opened her mouth to say something but nothing came out.  Brooke just looked at Annie and then looked down at the floor.

    “I-I-I, I wish I knew what to tell you Brooke, but I don’t.  You want to know why I didn’t tell you what happened with me and Paul, but I don’t know why.  Maybe because I was embarrassed, maybe because if I told you it would be too real.  Whatever it was, I know it was wrong of me.  I knew it was wrong of me when I did it,” Annie said.  She wasn’t crying anymore and she wasn’t scared.  “I never wanted to hurt you Brooke.  God, you’re the last person I ever wanted to hurt.  I can’t explain why I did what I did, but please, just believe me when I say how sorry I am,” Annie implored.  She moved from the door to the bed, and sat down next to Brooke.  She looked at Brooke and hoped for some reply.  Brooke looked at Annie and said,

    “But you did mean to hurt me Anns, you know you did.  You wanted me out of your life.”  Annie just stared back at Brooke in disbelief.

    “No, that’s not true,” Annie sputtered out.  Brooke wouldn’t listen to her and continued on,

    “Why didn’t you tell me?  Tell me now Annie, I want to hear it come out of your mouth, and I’m not taking no for an answer,” Brooke said bitterly.  Annie closed her eyes in an effort to not cry again.  Brooke got quiet and said, in almost a whisper,

    “Tell me what happened with Paul.  Tell me about Nick.   Just tell me about you,” she implored.  “Admit it to me, what Paul did, and maybe you can start admitting it to yourself,” whispered Brooke.

Annie looked straight at Brooke and sniffled a little.  She wanted to tell Brooke everything, but did she have the right words?

    “Brooke, I just can’t right now,” Annie whispered.  Brooke was about to say something but Annie stopped her,

    “No, Brooke.  You aren’t in this situation.  You have NO idea what I’m feeling right now, or what I’ve been feeling.  You can’t force something out of someone if they don’t want to tell it,” Annie said almost in a whisper.  She got up off the bed and walked to the door. “I can’t do this right now,” Annie said to Brooke.  Annie opened the door,

    “I’m sorry Brooke, I just can’t,” and she walked out the door.  She closed the door and stood there for a second, crying in the hallway.  I’m so sorry Brookey, she thought.  Annie sighed and walked outside.  She saw Nick under a tree and thought maybe she could walk past him, but he saw her.

    “Ann!” Nick yelled.  Annie kept on walking. “Annie!” Nick repeated.  No answer.  He got up from his spot under the tree and grabbed her by the arm.

    “Let go of me!” Annie yelled.  She wrenched her arm from Nick’s grip, but Nick grabbed it again.

    “I’m not letting you do this Annie!” Nick yelled in a hushed tone.  People were walking by them, but no one seemed to be looking at them.

    “Nick, just let me go,” Annie begged.  Nick looked at Annie, and half of him wanted to let her go, but he knew what he needed to do.

    “No Annie! I’m not letting you get away this easily.  You got away from Brooke, but you can’t get away from me,” he said forcefully.  Annie tried to move out of his way, but everytime she moved Nick would block her way.

    “Nick! Please!” Annie cried pleadingly.  Nick put his hands on Annie’s shoulders,

    “Don’t you see what you’re doing to yourself?  Do you even know what you’re doing to Brooke? What about me Ann? I can’t watch you die anymore,” choked Nick.  Annie’s eyes teared up again.

    “Brooke came a very long way to see you because I wrote her a letter,” said Nick.  Annie’s eyes got wide and she was visibly upset.  “You can be as pissed at me as you want, but it’s not gonna change the fact that I needed her help.  Annie, I can’t do anything for you and it kills me.  Do you even know how much I would do for you? Do you…do you…do you even know how much I fucking love you Annabelle Whitten?”  Nick couldn’t believe he had said that, but it came out and he couldn’t change it.

    “Nick,” said Annie.  She was crying and she didn’t seem as upset anymore.  “Nick, just let me go.  I need some time to think.”  Nick shook his head no and kept his hands on her shoulders.

    “No, I’m not letting you go anywhere.  You may hate me, you may never want to speak to me, whatever.  But, I did this because I love you and I need you here with me.  Brooke needs you too,” said Nick.  He was crying now.  Annie put a hand on her face and wiped his tears away as she cried.

    “Annie, this isn’t fair.  You can’t do this to yourself.  You’re so beautiful and funny and smart, and I’m so in love with you.  Maybe I’m stupid, but I don’t care.  Please honey, let us help you,” he begged.  Just then they heard footsteps coming up behind them, and Annie turned to see Brooke standing behind her.

  “Brooke,” Annie cried.  She walked over to Brooke and hugged her tightly, sobbing as she did it.  “Brookey, I’m so sorry.  I’m so sorry,” she sobbed.  Brooke held Annie tightly,

    “I know you are.  Everything’ll be okay from now on, it has to be.” Brooke comforted.  Brooke was stroking Annie’s hair and repeatedly kept saying, “Shhhh!  Shhhh!” Brooke gave a look to Nick that signaled there was possible hope here.  Annie sobbed away.

    “I-I-I’m so sorry to both of you.  I’m so sorry Brooke,” Annie implored.  Annie went and sat down under the tree Nick had been sitting under and both Brooke and Nick sat on either side of her.  Annie told Brooke everything that happened with Paul and Nick comforted her as she told her story.   After sobbing her way through the story, Annie finished and Brooke pulled her in for a hug and they both cried together.  Nick sat and watched both friends hug each other.  He sat back against the tree and shed a tear or two himself.  Annie pulled out of the hug with Brooke and leaned against Nick.  She put her arms around his waist and whispered into his ear,

    “I love you so much.”  He smiled and kissed her forehead.  They all got up off the ground and walked back into the dorm together.