Brookey,
I did something utterly stupid today.  I was studying in the library, and that cute guy that I told you
about, you know, the one I kept actually slamming into, well, he sat down next to me.  We started talking, he's actually sort of funny.  Anyway, he asked me to go to breakfast and he grabbed my arm, and I flipped out on him.  I don't mean a little flip-out Brookey, I mean, I actually called him names like ASSHOLE in front of a huge crowd outside the library.  I’m so embarrassed Brooke.  I embarrassed him, and I made a fool of myself.  He touched me Brooke, it just made me think of Paul, and how he used to grab me.  I don't know what to do.  Nick, that’s his name, didn’t do anything wrong, but I still freaked out on him.  I don't even know if I can ever look him in the face.  I wouldn’t be surprised if he never wanted to talk to me again.  People were staring at us, and I just kept screaming at him.  What the hell is wrong with me?  Why am I like this Brooke?  When will I ever be able to not freak out at people?  I don't wanna be like this anymore.
Anyway, you wanted to know about Nick, so I’ll tell you.  He’s got blond hair, he's got a really nice smile, and blue eyes.  He’s really very nice to look at.  Okay, he's better than nice to look at, but you get the general gist, right?  And, yes, I actually ran into him, like SMACK, into him.  Weird, eh?  Well,
enough about me.   I wish I could help you with Mr. Horse-Man Kevin.  I mean, if you want to see if this goes anywhere, I think you should give it a try.  David is nice, and I know he loves you, but you’ll never be happy unless you do what is right for you.  Babe, you should have called Kevin.  Like I said before, you’d never cheat on David (remember, I know you too well…), but if there is something there with Kevin, you owe it toyourself!  If you aren’t happy with David there is only one thing to do, find out who makes you happy.  If you are questioning your love for David, then there is a definite problem, don't you think?  Maybe it was
a good thing Kev came into the picture, cuz what if you got married to David and then realized that you didn’t love him that much to be married to him forever? Divorce is never fun, trust me when I say that!  Brookey, I know you’ll do the right thing.  I’m positive you will.  What’s right for you may not necessarily be the easiest way, but it’ll only benefit you.  And, girl, that’s all I’m concerned about.   Okay, I’d better go.  Sorry, a long one.  I hope I visit soon.  Brookey, please tell me I’m not crazy.  I don't wanna be crazy.  Okay, well, I’m going now.  I  love you!  Take care and if you can, give me a call soon, okay!  You’ll be okay!!  Luv you girlie!
                                                                                                Anns
 
 

Annie,

I am the stupidest woman alive!!  I did it, I went to Kevin, I went to talk to him and what happens?  We end up kissing, and he tells me he's going to Orlando and wants me to come with him.  Oh god the feelings that came over me when we kissed were indescribable Anns, I barely know him, but I think I love him.  Is that possible?  I don't even know, I've never felt this way before not even about David.  I mean sure I love him, but it's a different kind of love, we're more like friends.  At least I feel that way about it, I know he doesn't and I think it would break his heart to know I do.  I told Kevin it was wrong for me to be there, and I left, I hurt him, I know I did.  Shit I hurt myself, I can't even believe how hard that was to do, but I can't sacrifice David for what could happen with Kevin.

Maybe I just don't want to be alone!?  Sometimes I envy your ability to distance yourself from people Anns, I wish I had distanced myself from Kevin.  I can't stop thinking about him, even though he's in another state.  I'm glad he's gone, seeing him around town would be too hard, and maybe I should concentrate more on my life with David, I mean I am still going to marry him.....

Okay, that's enough talk of me.  How are things with you Anns.  We don't talk enough.  You know I worry about you, even though you tell me not to.  You aren't still having the nightmares are you?

Write back soon, I miss you
Brooke xoxo