Chapter One
I know this is a strange thing to get from me and God knows it feels weird to be writing it. I just thought you needed to know the truth about everything that's been going on. You've asked me so many times to just tell you the truth, and I guess I'm prepared to give it to you now. I'm sorry I waited so long to tell you. I don't quite know how you'll react to all of this, I guess I'll just have to wait and see.
It started a long time ago, I had her just like you did and I let her go just like you did (although not quite as cruely) I was young and I needed to sow my wild oats (or so I thought) and when I realized what a mistake I'd made it was already too late. She'd found someone new. She'd found you, and it killed me.
I hated seeing you with her, and at first I thought she was just doing it to get back at me, that once she found out how I felt we'd be back together, because you weren't her type Nick, I was, and I think you and I can both agree we're nothing alike.
But then after a week she was still with you, then a week turned into a month and a month turned into more and I just got angrier and angrier. I decided that it was your fault she and I weren't together, and I figured the only way to get her to to love me again was to get her to stop loving you. Seeing you with her hurt, and I let it eat at me for the whole time you were together, and even after. I let it be the reason for all the things I did. I pretended I was your friend and I manipulated all of you to serve my own interests. I'm sorry isn't going to cover it.
You and I have never been particularly close, even though we were the youngest and even though sometimes it would make sense for you and I to have been buddies, but you know it was always you and Brian and me and D, and well Kevin kind of just floated among all of us.
Maybe if we'd been closer none of this would have happened. Maybe if you and I had been better friends you'd have known everything from the beginning and we could have stopped this whole mess before it started. Maybe if we'd both just listened to each other we wouldn't be in the mess we ended up in.
I need you to be prepared
for this Nick. I did a lot of bad things, horrible things that I
don't really want to admit I did, but I will......I owe it to you, as a
friend and as the brothers all of us have become over time. Sorry
it took me so long to do it, I guess maybe I just didn't have the guts
to tell you to your face. I still don't have the guts to do that,
so I hope this will do..........