AJ lived in his own blissful world for the next three weeks. Happiness spread through him every morning when he woke up, knowing Jenna was in his house, knowing she'd be there when he went to sleep again. Her room was just down the hall from his own, and if he could have spent each and every night watching her, or lying next to her, he would have.
She hadn't spoken of the night they had spent at the hotel since it happened, but he was certain things would be fine when she was ready to get back into a relationship. He knew she was still mourning the end of her relationship with Nick, but she didn't speak of him, and avoided any conversation in which he'd get brought up. Which made AJ happier than he could express in words.
AJ tried to mention Nick every once in awhile, just to see how she reacted. Telling her about something he said or did when she knew he had been somewhere with him. Telling her about the new girlfriend of his that he'd met.
He wasn't trying to be cruel, even though when he mentioned such things he felt the knife drive a little harder into her as he watched the pained expression that flashed across his face. He just needed her to get over him, he needed to show her that Nick had moved on, so she should too. Even though Nick hadn't moved anywhere.
AJ smiled smugly to himself every time he saw Nick. Knowing Jenna was back where she belonged, and knowing that Nick was miserable about it. Nick had become a shell of himself, returning quickly to the old self-destructive ways AJ had taught him. He'd have given anything to tell Nick that Jenna was now living with him, sleeping with him (even though it was just that one time), that Jenna was now with him. But he couldn't.
AJ looked over at Jenna, sitting quietly in the sun reading the latest Cosmo. Someday the time would come for them to reveal their love, but today wasn't that day. She had been unusually quiet, and even as he sat outside staring at her through the veil of his sunglasses she still didn't acknowledge him.
"AJ, stop staring at me."
"I'm not!" He shot off defensively, albeit a little too quickly.
"Yes you are." She sighed without a look his way. "You always stare."
He had barely heard the last of her sentence, her words low and beneath her breath, but he'd heard them.
Aj got up from his seat and went inside, leaving her alone. She obviously didn't want his company. He sat down in front of the television and scanned through the channels until something caught his eye. For the next hour and a half he watched 'Who's the Boss' reruns on cable while Jenna paced in and out of the house. He watched her through the reflection on the t.v., wanting to ask her why she was so nervous, but afraid to know the answer. Finally she started to come his way, hesitating two or three times before standing next to him and picking up the remote that sat on his leg.
"AJ, I need to tell you something." Jenna said quietly, sitting down next to him, shutting off the T.V.
"What?"
"This isn't going to be easy." She said with an averting gaze. "Al, I'm moving to Chicago."
"You're what?" he said spinning his head her way.
"I'm moving to Chicago." She said with a sadness in her eyes.
"Why?"
"Because I like the wind."
"Be serious Jenny."
"Because I can't stay here and be friends with you." She said bluntly. "I mean if I stay here we can't be friends."
"Why not?" His pulse was racing and he felt like he was an inch away from hyperventilating. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Jenna, why can't we be friends. What is going on?"
"AJ, believe me, I've thought a long time about this, and this is the only thing that makes sense. Your life and Nick's are mixed whether you like it or not. I can't live here knowing he might stop by, knowing that whenever you go to 'work' you'll be seeing him. You have been such a great friend to me through all of this, and I don't know what I would have done without you, but if I stay in Florida, you can't be a part of my life. It's too hard, and you're too important for me to just ignore."
"That's bullshit Jenna. If I was so important than you'd stay."
"It's not like that AJ." She pleaded. "If I stay here, all you're gonna do is remind me of Nick. If I leave, then maybe I can forget about him for a little while."
"And forget about me too right?"
"That's not what I mean. Why are you making this so hard on me?"
"I just don't understand. Things have been so great, and now you tell me-"
"Al." She interrupted. "I can't keep hearing about Nick, about how he's doing, about the people in his life. It's eating at me and I'm just getting more and more depressed. I know you don't mention Nick on purpose, you just do it because he's in your life, and I can't deal with that right now. I need to be somewhere where he doesn't exist. It's hard enough to avoid him on TV, on the radio, and staring back at me from magazine racks at the grocery store. If I have to hear about him at home too I'm gonna lose it."
"Then he won't be mentioned Jenna. He won't exist in our house." He pleaded.
"You can't do that AJ. I've known you for far too long to expect you to just stop talking about your friends, especially when you are bound to be around those people day in and day out. This is the only way I know how to deal with both of you."
"By leaving?" He yelled.
"Aj don't you get it, if I stay all you'll do is remind me of Nick. I don't want to end up hating you for it."
"How can you just leave me." AJ said quietly. "Everything we went through. You can just go."
"Don't make it sound like we're breaking up! I'll always be your friend AJ, I'll just be your friend in Chicago instead of the one living down the hall."
"I don't want you to be my friend." He spat bitterly.
"What?" Jenna said, her face awash with confusion.
"Don't you get it Jenna. I don't want to be your friend anymore, and I don't want you to leave because I love you."
"You don't love me."
"Dammit, yes I do Jenna. I've always loved you and I'll never stop loving you. I thought that we could get what we used to have back." He confessed.
"That was a long time ago AJ, we can't go back to that." She said somberly.
"Then why did that night happen in the hotel? Why did that happen if we can't go back to how we used to be?"
"AJ it shouldn't have happened, simple as that. I'm no better than Nick to have slept with you that night. I was upset, and at the time it's what I thought I wanted and needed. I was wrong."
Anger and pain flashed in his eyes, but he had no word to express anything he wanted to say to her. No other statement in his life had hurt as much.
"I can't
stay here anymore..it's too complicated." She sighed, turning away from
him.
"Why Chicago?"
He finally asked after a long silence.
"I got a job there."
"You won't even know anyone."
"I'll meet people."
"When are you going?"
"Tonight."
"Tonight?" He said in appallment, wanting to shake her, so angry at what she was telling him. "Do you need a ride or anything?"
"No. I have one."
"With who?"
"No one you know."
"I can't believe you're doing this to me." AJ muttered.
"And I can't believe you're so selfish that you would rather me stay here than be happy."
"You can be happy here Jenna. With me."
"No I can't be. Everything just reminds me of him and I can't deal with that anymore."
"Would you please stop it with all the Nick crap. I can't listen to you talk about him anymore." AJ yelled.
"You won't have to hear about him at all when I leave." She spat.
"Fine." He fumed, getting up off the couch, walking out of the room as he continued to speak. "But don't count me as a friend anymore, I don't need a friend in Chicago, I have enough here."
"Al!" She yelled back to him as he stormed into his room slamming the door behind him, laying on his bed. He wanted to cry, but his anger overpowered his sadness. So much that he needed to leave. As he left his room he stormed past her again in the hallway, ignoring her and grabbing his coat as he reached the bottom of the staircase.
"AJ where are you going?" She asked, following him down the stairs.
"Out." He stated flatly, pulling on his jacket.
"Will you be back before I leave?"
"Doubt it."
"Don't be mad at me, please Al." She begged as he slipped on a pair of shoes, not looking her way, trying to ignore her presence.
"Wait! I know I don't deserve one, but can I ask you a favor?"
"Depends on what it is." he muttered.
"Please tell Nick where I went." AJ scoffed loudly at the mention of his name.
"Why should I?" He said, virtually appalled that she would ask him.
"Please AJ, just let him know I'm in Chicago if he ever wants to talk."
He shut the door before answering, trying to swallow the ball that seemed to be lodged in his throat. He hated Jenna for leaving, and even more for her unfaltering love for Nick. But he hated Nick more, and he wouldn't give either of them an ounce of help in getting back together.
AJ sped out of his driveway and drove until his gas tank was almost empty, only returning home when he was sure Jenna would be gone. Angry at himself for letting things get this far, and even angrier that he still had a glimmer of hope for a relationship with Jenna.