...So, there you have it Nick, the whole story. Every ounce of truth that I owe you, and some I probably didn't.
I don't even know if I can forgive myself for the things I did, so how can I ever expect you to forgive me, and frankly I know her well enough to know that I'd never be forgiven for what I've done, if she even knew the half of it. I won't ask you to keep this between us, she was just as involved as you were, and if you want to tell her I wouldn't blame you. I don't deserve her friendship anymore than I deserve yours.
I try to pretend in some little way that what I did was a good thing, that maybe things were meant to be this way, but I guess that's all in how you view the way things turned out. And I guess by now, you know things turned out better for you than they did for me, I guess I'm just lucky I didn't ruin things completely for everyone, or kill someone in the process. I don't know how I let things get so out of control, or why I let my feelings for Jenna overtake me the way I did. I'm going to spend the rest of my life questioning myself about that very thing.
I want you to be happy Nick, I need you to be happy so I don't spend the rest of my life worrying about how all of this will reflect on me when I'm standing at the pearly gates. I hope you two have a wonderful life together, I love you both more than you know, and definitely more than I've ever shown you. I hope someday you and I can be friends again, actually I hope someday you and I will become friends for the first time.
Congratulations, I hope everything goes well. I think you understand why I won't be there, if I was even welcome in the first place. Tell her I love her and that I'm sorry.
Your
Brother,
Alex.
Nick stared at the words on the paper, the words still blurry with the tears in his eyes. He didn't know whether to be sad, happy or angry. So much information had been thrown at him in the time it had taken him to read the letter that had been couriered to him late this afternoon. So many times anger had bubbled up inside him, knowing that he'd been toyed with, that the emotions of people he loved had been toyed with, all because of one man's refusal to let go of the past. The things he'd done and said, that whole period of his life could have been completely different. He could have been different.
Nick's mind reeled over who he was, and what could have been. A shiver of fright coursing through his body.
"Nick?" He heard Kayla yell from inside.
"I'm out here." He yelled back, still staring down at the papers in his hand, taking a deep breath and trying to regain his composure.
"I thought you were going to meet me downtown." She said stepping from the patio door and sitting down next to him. "What are you reading?"
"AJ's wedding present." He said, after thinking for a moment, wondering what to do about everything that was held within the papers in his hand.
"He sent a letter?"
"Actually it's more of a story." He sighed, folding the thick bundle of papers back up, wiping the tears from his face before she could notice them.
"Why didn't he give it to you at the wedding?" She asked a curious look on her beautiful face.
Nick sighed as he looked down at the letter in his hand. "Because he isn't coming."
"Why not?" She said with a sadness in her voice, he could see the hurt in her eyes.
"He has his reasons." Nick said, holding those reasons tight in his grip, he would never tell her the things he knew. That's one thing he'd give AJ, his friendship with Kayla. They both needed it.
He could see her trying to hide the tears that were welling up in her eyes, "He's the one person that should be there. Well besides you and me."
"Why do you say that?" She looked at him like he should have known the answer.
"Do you really think any of this would be happening without him?" She questioned.
"Actually I'd like to think it would have." He sighed, standing up and looking down at her. Tears came to his eyes again as he thought about AJ and what he'd done to them. "Sometimes you just have to believe in fate and destiny Kayla. It's all we have."
He pulled her to a standing position and gave her a soft kiss on the lips, hugging her tight to his body. She was everything to him, and he believed with every ounce of his being that they were destined to be together. He didn't want to think about how things could have turned out. He didn't want to think of his life without her.
"C'mon we have a rehearsal dinner to get to." Nick said, releasing Kayla
from his embrace and walking back through the house, dropping the bundle
of papers he held in his hand in the garbage.