"Look, I'm not going to be your spy AJ." Kayla yelled into the phone receiver.  "I took this job because I needed it and it was better than some stuffy desk job, that's all."

    "Kay, I asked you to take the job to watch Nick for me." AJ said in frustration.

    "As far as I know Nick is okay, he isn't shooting crack or getting blow jobs from transvestites, but if he doesn't want you to know things about him or his life, it's none of my business to tell you."

    "Make it your business Kayla." He said angrily.

    "Don't get pissed off at me.  I know you're worried about him, but  there's nothing you or anyone can do."

    "You could tell me what's going on with him Kayla.  I know you know more than you're telling me."

    "I might be your friend, but dammit AJ I'm his too, what he says to me is between us."

    "You're getting involved with him aren't you?"

    "No.  Why would you ask me that?" She said defensively.

    "I hear it in your voice."

    "You don't hear anything in my voice."

    "Yes I do, you're defending him like he's your boyfriend or something.  Kayla I don't care if you never listen to anything I say except this.  Don't get involved with him, he's royally screwed up."

    "More than you are?"

    "Yes." He said seriously, not biting on to her bitchy shot at him.  "Kayla.  I mean it.  You'll only get hurt, I know what that kid is capable of."

    "Jesus AJ you make it sound like he's a serial killer."

    "Some things are worse than murder Kayla," He said mysteriously.  "Promise me you won't go down that road."

    "I never said I was....you were the one that jumped to the assumption that I was getting involved with him.  Well I'm not, so don't worry about it."

    "Promise me Kay!"

    "Bye AJ." She said as she hung up the phone, not in the mood for AJ's bitter diatribes.  But he was right, she was thinking about it.  About Nick, about the kiss he gave her a few weeks ago, about how wrong she knew it all was.  Kayla was falling for him hard, maybe a reaction to the mothering she had been doing when she was with him, or some sort of Florence Nightengale syndrome, whatever the reason it was confusing.  Lately she had been making any excuse she could to be around him, to just sit and talk with him or try to make him laugh.  His smile was making her weak in the knees and more and more she had to force herself out of it.

He isn't anywhere near to being over Jenna, you're wasting your time, her mind continually told her.  He hasn't even tried anything else since that night at the club, don't fool yourself. it said, like a split personality that needed to warn her of the dangers of getting involved with someone like Nick, someone who part of her knew was so far from being able to have a healthy relationship that she didn't know if he's ever be able to have one.  But still, she wanted one.

Kayla stared down at the table into her almost empty bowl of Lucky Charms, the last few marshmallows swimming in the pink milk eluding her spoon.

    "He doesn't even want to get over Jenna." She said to herself in frustration, a frown splayed across her face, as she got up from her small kitchen table, tossing the bowl into the sink with a crash against the other dishes she had been meaning to do.   Kayla went in the shower to get ready for work, frustration and elation being one and the same.

        Nick watched as Kayla sat in the corner typing away on his computer, fingers pounding endlessly on the keys like she were writing a novel, but he didn't really know what she was doing.    He was bored, mindlessly bored as usual and actually wishing he had some PR event to attend or  financial meeting to go to.  So he sat and watched her, pretending he was doing some important work on the other side of the room.  He didn't really even need her here when he was off tour and promotion, but it was better than having no one here at all, it was better than the empty feelings this huge house left him with, feelings of solitude and sadness.  Nick looked up from the "work" he was doing and just watched her subtle movements, watched the way she rocked slightly in the computer chair and the way she tapped one foot on the floor like it was going to the beat of a song he couldn't hear.  Her hair was twisted into a loose bun near the top of her head, two yellow pencils held it there until she reached up and pulled one out, jotting something down on the pad of paper she had next to her.  She tapped it on the desk to the same un-heard tune, and spun it in her fingers for a few moments before setting it down again, returning to the keys in front of the computer.  He wanted to know what she was doing, she didn't use his computer very often but she had been on it all morning occasionally stopping so she could run upstairs and get something else, always tempting him to go over and look at what was on the screen.  But she was always quick to return.  He hadn't noticed her wearing glasses before,  but a pair of thin frames adorned her face.  They make her look smarter.  As he watched her sitting at the computer, unaware that she could see his staring reflected in the computers screen, he remembered the conversation he had with his friend Luke three days earlier.  The conversation that Nick didn't want any part in, the one that was forcing him to get on with his life.  Luke prodded and pushed Nick to do something, anything that would get him over her.

Her.  He didn't even want to say her name anymore.  He had to listen to Luke, he had to get on with life, go back to living.  It's not like she died. Luke had told him, you guys broke up, shit like that happens.  Stop acting like a grieving widow and get over it, forget about her and find someone else.

Someone else.  His eyes found their way from a past conversation, into the present, where the spinning of a pencil caught his eye.  Could I?  Should I?

    "Kay?" He finally asked.  Stumbling forward like an unseen force had pushed him towards her.

    "Yeah." She didn't even look up from the computer screen, the yellow pencil still being  flipped between her fingers.

    "Do you maybe wanna go out tomorrow night?"

    "Why you wanna go get wings or something?" She asked with a niceness in her voice.

    "No, I mean out out.  Together."  She turned around in the swivel chair, and looked at him with surprise.

Chapter 5

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