Which Homestar Runner Character Are You? In high school, you were: The jock. The popular one. The party animal. The bully. One of the bully's toadies. The loner. If you were the president, your first goal in office would be: To make Thanksgiving 12 days long. Changing legislation to better serve the small businessman. Improving environmental protection laws and cleaning up landfills. Introducing a new foreign policy - whining at other countries to leave us alone. Getting all the interns' phone numbers. Getting your intern to bring you a glass of melonade. Wasting taxpayers' money to get yourself some nifty stuff. Protecting free speech in the music industry. Crush France! Your biggest problem is: Procrastination / Laziness. Having no friends. Not being too bright. People not being able to understand what you say. Always talking about the same thing. Keeping your business afloat. Constantly being at odds with people on political issues. Having to keep the opposite sex away from you with a stick. Having a big ego... but that's not a problem. Do you like doing stand up comedy? "No. Never. I mean... why would I need to do stand-up comedy? I'm this funny all the freakin time, man!" You'd need to talk... coherently... in order to tell jokes... Well, you're funny, but not on purpose... No. Your stories make people cry instead. The funny stuff you're planning works better out of the spotlight... People usually make jokes about you instead. You'd rather be the musical act. Sure, you might be kind of good at it.. My name's on my shirt, isn't that funny? You pick up the phone to call someone you know. What's it about? Asking them out. Trying unsuccessfully to ask them out. It doesn't matter. You have absolutely nothing better to do. Just some friendly conversation. Inviting them to a huge catered party you're having. A prank call to make them think their loved one is dead! Why would you be calling anybody? Answering messages from other people calling you. You aren't very good on the phone, so it's just various confused grunts. Time to get online. What happens? You never bother with the Internet. You flame somebody. People make fun of your horrible typos. YOU TYPE IN ALL CAPS!!! No new messages. Oh well. You sort through your mailbox full of love letters. You just sit around chatting on AIM. What would your dream job be? To be a famous athelete. Pro Wrestler! A food critic. Something that will let you express your artistic capabilities. Something where you can be the one in charge. Something high-tech where you need to stay connected. It doesn't matter WHAT the job is, so long as it's something stable. What's the point? And no one would probably hire you anyway, so why even try? What is your relationship with crap? You shovel it. You say it in every other one of your sentences. You hire people to do things with it. You use creative euphemisms when talking about it. You have all types of it. People shove your face in it. You're more likely to pee your pants than crap, after having all that stuff to drink. What do you do in your spare time? Play old-school video games. Play some mix of whatever board games you have lying around with your own made-up rules. Play competitive sports. Just hang out with your buddies. Play pranks on people. Dancing. Gardening. Baking. You might get mad at a friend of yours if... They mess with another, closer friend of yours. They act real boring or stupid. They reveal a shockingly offensive political opinion. ...You weren't too busy blaming life in general for everything. ...Your brain could put forth the effort of getting mad at all. They get you the same freaking present 3 years in a row. They eat your lunch. They interfere with your work. They ditch you to hang out with someone else. People turn to you for: Friendship. Advice. Leadership. Backup. Cleaning up their mess. Making themselves look better. Food. Nothing, they hardly know you exist. What is your favorite food? Rice cakes. Everything. Everything, with butter on it. Jurjyfrorts. Fast food. Marshmallows. Pop rocks and cola. Danishes, croissants, or other baked goods. Stuff that'll really gross out anyone else. What's the point of eating? We'll die anyways. Hey, crap for brains! Make sure you've answered all the questions! Code adapted from colleen's quiz tutorial