Dear "Rolo",

Just a quick note to let you know how I've been. I know, I'm such a "Slo Poke" about writing to you. Hey, gimme a break, I've been busy.

Well, "Baby Ruth", my lil "Sugar Babies" and I decided to go bar hoppin the other night. We couldn't decide whether to go to "Tart-n-Tinys", "Quik Bar" or the "Clark Bar". So we started with the "Mars Bar" over on "Fifth Avenue" and managed to hit 'em all. I just had a "Payday" so I wasn't hurtin for money.

We walked in and sat at the bar "Twix", "Mr Goodbar" and "Mr Big". You remember "Mr Goodbar" he's the "Chunky" one who thinks he's a big "Sugar Daddy".   Personally I think he's a big fat "Zero". We ordered a couple of drinks and right away "Mr Big" starts telling me about his robbery. It seems like someone broke into his house last Friday while he was out drinking "Malted Milk", and stole his "Turtles" valued at "100 Grand". If you can believe that. It sounded like a "Whopper" to me. He put up $1000 "Bounty" for the return of his "Turtles". That guy is definitely a "Milk Dud".

Later on, "Skittles" came in, sat down at a table and asked us to join her, so we did. She's a "Bit O Honey", if I say so myself. "Baby Ruth" kept watching me out of the corner of her eye.

It was so funny, the "Three Musketeers" came in and sat at the table next to us. "Skittles" got so excited she dropped her "Raisinettes" all over the floor. I called her "Butterfinger" and she got so mad she hit me over the head with a "Tootsie Roll" and called me a "Lemonhead". As far as I'm concerned, those "Three Musketeers" are a bunch of "Goobers". What with names like "Skor", "Cadbury" and "Zagnut", you've got to be kidding! What was their mother thinking when she named them? Maybe she wasn't. Hehe.

We finally left the "Mars Bar" around 9pm and went the "Bar None" over by the "Mounds". It was the liveliest place we went to all night. "Jolly Rancher" was there. He was telling me about the "Sixletes" his prize hog had. He ought to get "Good and Plenty" when he sells that one.

We decided to have dinner while we were there, "Baby Ruth" just had to have the plate special. "Boston Baked Beans" with "Peanut Butter Cups" for dessert. Is that a wild combo or what? "Snickers"!

Well, I'd better sign off for now. I need to get to the store before it closes and get me some "Charleston Chew" and another six-pack.

Write when ya can...
"Heath"




Thanks to Alair for writing this hilarious contribution!

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